Jokes, Human Anatomy Humor, Heady Puns
up on eye-ronic puns, knucklehead humor, belly laughs, all-arming
jokes and butt grins.
Proceed at Your Own Risk! Bodily organ jokes, human parts humor,
and disected body puns ahead.
Jokes, Body Parts Puns, Handy Humor
(Because Leg Up Jokes, Ear-ie
Puns, and Lippy LOLs Could Never Be TOO
Mainstream If That's What You Kneed!)
| Human Anatomy Jokes | Body
Jokes | Inner Body Puns, Back Jokes
| Butt Jokes, Bad Ass Pun |
| Male Body Jokes | Female
Body Humor | Chest Jokes, Pec Puns,
Breast LOLs | Belly Laughs |
| Head Humor | Face
Jokes | Ear Puns | Nose
Jokes | Mouth Laughs | Neck
Puns | Eye Jokes |
| Hand Jokes, Finger Puns | Leg
Jokes | Foot Jokes | Heart
Humor | Ear, Nose, Throat Humor
Why do bald men always have holes in their pockets?
A. So they can run their fingers through their hair!
Why did the redneck bodybuilder wear a sleeveless shirt
to the gym?
A. To exercise his right to bear arms.
Why was the amputee such a bad singer?
A. 'Cause he couldn't hold a note or carry
Orthopedic Tip of the Day: Looking for something to tickle
her funny bone? Just make a couple of humerus witticisms!
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her
boyfriend's ski parka?
A. She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
What makes a bodybuilder smile at the gym?
A. Face muscles!
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
A. By the blanc look on her face
Medical Tip: Never agree to have facial plastic surgery
if the doctor's office is decorated with Picasso portrait
What is the Christian plastic surgeon's specialty?
A. Faith lifts.
Sketch Artist Groan of the Day: A naked woman robbed a bank
during a power outage. So, nobody at the bank could remember
you hear about the blonde who learned to play piano by ear?
She finally figured out it was easier to use her hands...
What kind of fish could help you hear better?
A. A Herring Aid.
Why are men with pierced ears better prepared for marriage?
A. Because they've experienced pain and have bought jewelry.
Why do farmers play smooth jazz out in the corn field?
A. 'Cause it's easy on the ears.
you think earwigs are terrifying because they crawl
into your ears, you don't even want to consider what cockroaches
Why did the curious monster take his nose apart?
A. To see what made it run!
What is the difference between a boxer and a guy with a
A. One knows his blows and the other blows his nose.
Funny Fact of the Day: You can pick your nose and you can
pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends' noses!
What should you do before having facial reconsturction surgery?
A. Pick your nose...
Where do plastic surgeons get all those new noses?
A. At the olfactory.
What happened to the thief who stole a clown's nose?
A. The cops caught him red-handed.
What did the blonde say after losing the breaststroke swimming
A. She got mad and accused the other swimmers of cheating
'cause they used their hands!
Which sci-fi gathering do busty blonde aliens attend?
A. Areola 51. Duh!
What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.
What did the boob say to the bikini?
A. You're my breast friend!
What does the geologist call his wife's bra?
A. An over-the-shoulder boulder holder.
What do you call it when somebody trips over a bra?
A. A booby trap.
What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist?
A. A hematologist pricks your finger. OUCH!
Why did the taller fisherman tell better fish stories than
his shorter buddy?
A. 'Cause his arms are longer!
Man Tip of the Day: Never hit a guy with glasses. Use your
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs out in the
What did the blonde leave the Broncos tailgating party crying?
A. Because they ran out of Coors Light in left-handed cans.
Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world?
A. Because he can hold up a 10-Ton truck with his hand.
Which brand of OTC medication should you take if your butt
What is it called when a surgeon slips and cuts off your
right butt cheek?
A. A half-assed operation.
I think my butt is broken.
Doctor: No, every butt has a crack.
How do you know for certain that you're butt ugly?
A. The proctologist stuck his finger in your mouth.
Why is the name of the affliction, diarrhea, so
A. Because it perfectly describes a dire rear!
What do you call a beer drinker without a six-pack?
A. Beer belly.
Which Aussies were the first to concentrate on working out
their ab muscles?
A. The native Ab-Originals.
How do you describe the flavor of that pink upset stomach
What does a ghost take when it suffers from acid reflux?
you hear about the chef who slipped and broke his prime
head walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "What
do you have that's full-bodied?"
Which shampoo do smart zombies use?
A. Head and Shoulders!
Why did the bald guy put a rabbit on his head?
A. Because he wanted a head full of hare.
What did the patient ask his doctor during the colonoscopy?
A. Could you please write me a note for my wife saying that
my head is not up there?
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A. A double header!
Body Fact of the Day: Did you realize that Dr. Frankenstein
was actually the first bodybuilder?
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body?
Blonde Nurse: Shhhh. There's a pack of hungry dogs outside!
What is the creepiest thing about joggers?
A. They're always the ones who discover the dead body.
Why did the girl ghost go on a weight loss diet?
A. She wanted to keep her ghoulish figure.
Philosophy Failure: I've accepted the fact that being cremated
is the only way I'll ever have a smokin' hot body.
Why did the eyeball break up with the elbow?
A. Because the eyeball didn't find the elbow's humerus
jabs at all humor-iris.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
A. Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why were the eyelid and the eyebrow constantly fighting?
A. Because they just couldn't see eye to eye.
Why did the clever blonde decide to rinse her eyes with
A. Duh! Because Heinz-sight is 20/20.
Why was the eye going to anger management?
A. It told the therapist, "Eyelash out at people when
What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist?
A. One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot.
shoe salesman, a pirate, and a clown jog into a bar. The
bartender says, "What? Is this some kind of a joke
about La Feet?"
Why did that one nurse always vomit when a patient with
no feet enters the ER?
A. Because she was lack toes intolerent.
What's the difference between a man and Sasquatch?
A. One's covered in matted hair and smells bad; the other
has big feet.
Why are spiders such great basketball players?
A. Because they're all eight-footers!
Doctor: It looks like there's something written on this
patient's big toe.
Famous Surgeon: Oh, yes. That's a footnote.
Where do zombies with no arms and no legs play their championship
A. Wrigley Field.
How did the dancing mime kick the bucket?
A. He stubbed his pan-toe-mime.
Why do janitors die with their boots on?
A. So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
What kind of appetizers do zombies like at Halloween parties?
A. Finger foods.
blonde looked up to watch a bird flying above. Suddenly
the bird pooped. So, the blonde said, "Good thing I
had my mouth open, or that would have hit me in the face!"
Why did the guy in the ghost costume get kicked out of the
Halloween party at the haunted house?
A. Because he was sheet-faced!
were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist
was reportedly shot in the face. They arrived to a sticky
dogs meet on the street and do a ritual sniff. One turns
to the other and says, "I don't recall your name, but
the feces familiar."
How does a guy with a broken knee cap sing when in solitary
What do you call a fish with two knees?
A. A tunee fish.
What did Frosty the Snowman say to the dog who peed on him?
A. If I had legs, I'd kick your butt!
guy woke up after surgery and screamed, "Doctor, I
can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know,
we had to amputate your arms."
Chat Up Line: Hey babe,
do you have an Ace bandage? 'Cause when you walked by, I
got weak in the knees.
Human Anatomy Jokes | Body
Jokes | Inner Body Puns, Back Jokes
| Butt Jokes and Ass Pun |
What happened to the boy who was born without eyelids?
A. When he was circumcised, they used the skin for eyelids.
Unfortunately, he's a little cock-eyed now.
Why shouldn't you ever put avocados in your eyes?
A. So you don't get guac-oma.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
A. Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all smelly
and sweaty from his run?
A. The stink eye.
What did one zombie say to another?
A. Please don't roll your eyes toward me!
Student Come-On: Wanna go
study my anatomy?
What happened after a guy got a Viagra stuck in his throat?
A. He had a stiff neck for hours.
When do vampires really get into horse racing?
A. Only when it's neck and neck!
giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Do you want
a long neck?" Giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"
What do you call it if a giraffe swallows a drone?
A. A a big plane in the neck.
giraffe walks into a bar. "Sorry," said the bartender,
"We don't serve Heineken here."
Medical Laugh of the Day: My mother used to say that the
way to a man's heart was through his stomach. She was a
lovely woman, but a terrible surgeon.
What do you get if you kiss a duck?
A. A peck on the cheek.
What do you call a fish that won't quit singing?
A. A big-mouthed bass.
tongue walks into a bar and yells out, "I can lick
anyone here!" EW!
What happens when two nervous frogs collide?
A. They get tongue-tied.
How are tight-fitting underwear and smiles alike?
A. Both lift your cheeks.
cannibal chef daintily wiped his mouth and said, "My
wife makes great soup. I'm really going to miss her."
| Male Body Humor, Penis Puns, Viagra Jokes
| Female Body Humor, Breast Jokes, PMS
| Head Jokes, Noggin Puns | Chest
Jokes, Breat Puns | Heart Humor
| Belly Laughs, Gut Humor |
| Face Jokes | Neck
Jokes, Throat Puns | Mouth Jokes,
Tongue Puns, Lip Laughs | Eye
| Ear Jokes, Hearing Humor, Deaf Puns
| Nose Jokes, Boogar Puns | Ear,
Nose, Throat Humor |
| Hand Jokes, Finger Puns, Arm Humor
| Leg Jokes and Knee Puns | Feet
Puns and Foot Jokes |
| Sick Puns, Medical Jokes | Doctor
Jokes | Surgery Cut-Ups | Proctology
Jokes | Urology Jokes |
| Head Shrinker Jokes | Dentist
Jokes | Eye Doctor Jokes | Manly
Man Jokes | Women Jokes
still in one piece, so here's
even more choppy laughter,
piecemeal jokes and dearly
departed painful puns that'll surly cut
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
Alien Jokes | Bra
Jokes | Brain Jokes | Bug
Jokes | Butcher Puns | Cannibal
Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Fit
| Gym Jokes | Hair
Jokes | Hot Dog Puns | Pickle
Puns | Pirate Jokes | Police
Puns | Psychic Jokes | Sci-Fi
| Seasonal Humor | Skeleton
Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superman
Jokes | Tech Support Puns | Vampire
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