Q. What do you call guys who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons.

Q. What happens when you're the only one at the gym using the speed bag?
A. There's no punch line!

Q. Why did the blonde stop using the exercise bike at the gym?
A. 'Cause she simply wasn't getting anywhere.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, do you have any tape? 'Cause I'm totally ripped.

Q. What do they call that owl down at the gym?
A. The Stare Master.

Workout Groan of the Day: A new guy joined the gym and dropped 10 pounds very quickly. Luckily, it missed his foot!

Q. What do you call a fitness center that's dirty and smells like socks?
A. Gym-nasty-um.

Workout Wisecrack: Somebody call the Coroner! I just killed my workout!

A sign at my gym reads: Nothing Is Impossible!" Yeah, nothing except trying to cancel your gym membership...

Q. Why was James such a busy personal trainer?
A. 'Cause so many people were going to the Jim.

Gym Factoid: Did you realize that Dr. Frankenstein was actually the first bodybuilder?

Q. What do seven days without exercise make?
A. One weak!

Workout Point to Ponder: If the guys at the gym call you a big fat loser, is that a dis or a huge compliment?

Q. Why did the gym have a really hard time attracting new members?
A. It was on the third floor of a building without an elevator.

Q. Why did the gym fire the personal trainer?
A. Because he just wasn't fit for the job.

Q. What is an inverted pigeon in yoga class?
A. It's what's under the downward dog.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Did you get those yoga pants on sale? 'Cause at my place, they're 100% off!

Funny Fitness Failure: I forgot to go to yoga yesterday. That makes five years in a row...

Q. What is an easy way to add squats to your daily routine?
A. Move the beer to the bottom shelf of the fridge.

Q. What do you call the mediocre new jogging machines at the gym?
A. Run of the mill.

Q. What did the bodybuilder say when his girlfriend dumped him for some other gym rat?
A. I'm feelin' the burn.

Workout Wisecrack: They say the best exercise is in the bedroom. Well, that's where I get the most resistance...

Q. Why did the newbie weightlifter get fed up and quit the gym?
A. Because his name is Max and he really hated all the jokes.

Q. Why did the political reporter go to his gym so often?
A. For his daily spin class.

Q. Which exercises did ancient Romans do to keep in shape?
A. Pontius Pilates.

Gym Joke of the Day: Gymnasium means naked exercise in ancient Greek. But don't try that line on the health club receptionist!

Funny Fitness Failure: I met my ex-wife at the gym, but we just didn't workout.

Q. What is the special favor one earns for becoming very muscular?
A. Brawny points.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, now it's your turn to spot me, 'cause I spotted you all the way across the room when you walked in.

Workout Wisecrack: I wish the gym had a stationary bike built for two.

Q. Why didn't the dinosaur go to the gym?
A. 'Cause he did not believe in the survival of the fittest. OUCH!

Q. Why was the blonde hiding from exercise?
A. Because she was in the Fitness Protection Program.

Bodybuilder Chat Up Line: Hey big guy, you sure look swole!

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, let's do lunge!

Gym Joke of the Day: Never even attempt to do squats on Taco Tuesday!

Workout Point to Ponder: If an apple exercises, is that called a core workout?

Q. Why did the oyster go to the gym?
A. 'Cause it's good for the mussels.

Pumped Up Pick-Up Line: Girl, I followed my heart, and it led me to the gym.

Workout Wisecrack: I love doing crunches: Doritos, popcorn, pretzels...

Q. Why did the gym named James shut down?
A. It just didn't work out.

Q. Why did the blonde bodybuilder change her workout clothes?
A. Somebody said she was ripped.

Bodybuilder Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, how'd you like to work in a few reps over at my place?

Q. How does a physicist exercise at the gym?
A. By pumping ion!

Today's Type 2 Fitness Failure: It is so unfortunate that the only thing so many Americans exercise is their freedom of speech.

Q. Why is it hard to miss the pumped up muscleman standing over there?
A. Because he's burly recognizable.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Do you believe in love at first sight? Or, should I curl this barbell another ten times?

Q. What do gymnasts like on their popcorn?
A. Sommer-salt.

Q. What condition do you have if you're sick of going to your workout venue?
A. Gym Nausea-m.

Q. What did the gym rat name his dog?
A. Spot.

Q. What is a mortician's favorite workout at the gym?
A. Deadlifting.

Q. Where do green aliens go for a good workout?
A. Planet Fitness.

Q. Why did the newbie listen to her fitness trainer?
A. Because he always did things as he saw fit.

Q. How did the wimpy personal trainer quit his job at the gym?
A. He handed in his too-weak notice.

Gym Joke of the Day: People who think they can run away from their problems have obviously never farted on a treadmill.

Q. What do some paid athletes take for peak performance?
A. Pro-team supplements.

Q. How did the old gymnast die?
A. She just flipped out.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Are your legs tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all night.

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