| Gym
Factoid: Did you realize that Dr. Frankenstein was actually
the first bodybuilder?
Q.
What was Dracula's title after he won the bodybuilding competition
over his bloody stiff competitors?
A. The Champ-ire!
Q.
Why didn't the dinosaur go to the gym?
A. 'Cause he did not believe in the survival of the fittest.
OUCH!
Ripping
Fitness Philosophy Failure: I've accepted the fact that
being cremated is the only way I'll ever have a smokin'
hot body.
Ghastly
Fitness Point to Ponder: Wouldn't excercise be more fun
if calories screamed when you burned them?
Q.
What is the best protein a bodybuilder could possibly eat?
A. Another bodybuilder.
Q.
Why do cross-fit gyms have chalk?
A. So you can mark where the bodies fall.
Q.
What does Bigfoot do for exercise?
A. Sas-squats!
Q.
Why are ghosts so good at sports?
A. They have team spirit!
Q.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
A. They take the psychopath!
Q.
Why don't they play baseball in the jungle?
A. Because there are so many cheetahs there!
Q.
Why was a tiny ghost invited to play on the NFL football
squad?
A. They needed a little team spirit.
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Q.
What happened after some cub scouts found a bat in a cave?
A. They decided to play baseball.
Q.
Where do vampire baseball players clean up after a winning
night game?
A. In the bat tub.
Q.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A. A baseball team.
Q.
What happens if you read too many frightful Painful
baseball Puns?
A. You're left in stitches.
Q.
Why should China have a national championship baseball team?
A. 'Cause they could easily eliminate everybody else with
just one bat.
Q.
Where do zombies with no arms and no legs play their championship
baseball game?
A. Wrigley Field.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a baseball player and the Invisible
Man?
A. Pitching like you've never seen before.
Q.
Why did a boy hang upside down from the dugout ceiling?
A. He really wanted to be the bat boy.
Q.
Which sport requires that players have monster-sized lower
limbs?
A. Major-leg baseball.
Q.
Why do the lady ghosts love baseball?
A. Because diamonds are a ghoul's best friend!
Q.
Why don't skeletons play baseball for the home team?
A. Because home is where the heart is, and they
don't have the hearts.
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Q.
Do the Walking Dead play NFL football?
A. They do! They play offense 'cause that's something to
do in Denver when your're dead.
Q.
Why doesn't Bigfoot play for the Denver Broncos?
A. Because Sasquatch is afraid of clowns!
Q.
How do you know Bigfoot isn't a Denver Broncos' fan?
A. He has not been seen anywhere near Empower Stadium.
Q.
Why isn't Sasquatch a Denver Broncos fan this year?
A. 'Cause he can't face big da feet!
Q.
What do you call blonde Denver Broncos fans on a Zombie
walk?
A. Nightmares.
Q.
When do vampires descend into Mile High Field?
A. Only if the game is neck and neck.
Q.
What is it called when a dinosaur makes a touchdown?
A. A dino-score.
Q.
Which kind of dinosaur played NFL football?
A. The Bronco-score-us.
Q.
Why don't zombies play NFL football?
A. They do! They play defense for Denver.
Q.
Which is a zombie's favorite football team?
A. Washington Deadskins.
Q.
What do a crummy football team and a possum have in common?
A. Both play dead and get killed on the road
Q.
What happens right before old football players die?
A. They go into the end zone.
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