Q. Why do ghosts maek good cheerleaders? A. Because they have a lot of spirit!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!
Q. How did a ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So Long, Sucker!
Q. What is a ghoul's favorite cheese? A. Monster-Ella!
Q. How are vampires artistic? A. They're good at drawing blood!

 


Bloody Funny Jokes, Halloween Humor, Killer Puns
4 out of 5 witches have hexed our Halloween memes, haunting humor, and bewitching puns.

Halloween Puns, Scary Jokes, Hellish Humor
(Because Bloody Funny Jokes, Spooky Humor, and Hellish Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream on Halloween!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Humor treats, killer tricks, and ghoulish Halloween puns lie undead ahead.
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

Q. What does a skeleton say before dinner? A. Bone AppetitQ. Which plant likes Halloween the most? A. Bam-Boo!Q. Why don't mummies have any friends? A. Because they're too wrapped up in themselves!

Q. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A. Spare ribs.

Q. Why do skeletons hate winter?
A. Because the cold goes right through them.

Q. Who is a skeleton's favorite Star Trek character?
A. Bones McCoy.

Q. What is the favorite mode of travel for skeleton pilots on Halloween?
A. The Scareplane.

Q. Who does a witch call for help with computer problems on Halloween?
A. Hex Support!

Q. Why are witches great computer programmers?
A. Because they always recurse.

Q. Why did a witch keep turning into Minnie Mouse?
A. She was having Disney spells.

Q. Why did the witch toss her broom into the washing machine?
A. She wanted to make a clean sweep.

Q. Which kind of coffee do mummies prefer on Halloween?
A. De-coffin-ated.

Q. Why didn't the mummy think he was scary enough for Halloween?
A. Because he was still in de-Nile!

Q. Why was the mummy so tense on Halloween?
A. He was all wound up.

Q. What do you call a tiny mummy?
A. Tomb Thumb.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food? A. At the ghost-ery store!Q. What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? A. Candy Cornea!Q. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A. A Plumpkin!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the Halloween party?
A. Because everyone there was a goblin.

Q. What do you call a tired ghost?
A. The Grim Sweeper!
Demons are a ghoul's best friend.

Q. Do ghosts have fun at Halloween parties?
A. Yes, they have a wail of a time!

Q. What does a ghost use to make calls?
A. A Terror-Phone!

Q. How do monsters like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried!

Q. Why was the student skeleton up late studying?
A. He was boning up for the his-story test.

Q. Why can't skeletons be the church musician?
A. They don't have any organs.

Q. What does a skeleton say when it's pissed off?
A. I have a bone to pick with you.

On Halloween, you can sit on my pumpkin, but you butternut squash it!

Q. What are big, orange Halloween gourds truly afraid of?
A. Things that go pumpkin the night.

Q. What do you call an athletic Halloween pumpkin?
A. Jock-o-lantern!

Q. Where do jack-o-lanterns live?
A. On the seedy side of town.

Bloody Handprint Says: Happy Splatter Day!Q. What does a witch use to keep her hair up? A. Scare spray!Happy Tombs Day!

Q. Who was the most famous scary Halloween detective?
A. Warlock Holmes.

Q. Where do the cops put vampires before booking them?
A. In red holding cells.

Q. Why did the policeman let the ghost go on Halloween?
A. He couldn't pin anything on him!

Q. Why are black cats such good singers?
A. Because they're mews-ical.

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. Why did the witches lose their Halloween baseball game?
A. Their bats all flew away.

Q. What kind of makeup do witches wear on Halloween?
A. Ma-scare-a.

Q. How do you use the pyramid's doorbell on Halloween?
A. Just toot-and-come-in!

Q. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A. They are very good at keeping things under wraps.

Q. What did the mummy say when the archeaologist farted?
A. What Sphinx in Here?

A farmer enjoys gazing at his pumkin patch becuase it's so gourd-geous!Q. What is a ghost's favorite dessert? A. Booberry pie!Q. Why do they put fences around graveyards? A. People are dying to get in!

Q. What do you give a gourd that's trying to quit smoking?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What do you call a pretty Halloween pumpkin?
A. Gourdgeous.

Q. What kind of food do mummies like at Halloween parties?
A. Wraps.

Q. Where do monsters who have eaten too many Big Macs go in the afterlife? A. Burger-tory.

Q. Why are ghosts so popular at Halloween parties?
A. 'Cause they always bring the boos!

Q. Which room do ghost like to haunt?
A. The living room.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite Halloween party game?
A. Hide and Shriek!

Q. How did the little ghost learn to play the piano?
A. He used sheet music.

Q. Where does a mummy drink his espresso on Halloween?
A. At the Sar-Coffee-Gus.

Pyramid hieroglyph recently decoded:
Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your mummy back.

Q. Which card game did the ancient Egyptian pyramid builders play?
A. Gin Mummy.

Q. What do you call a friendly mummy?
A. Chummy.

| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Daily Jokes | Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor |

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You're not spooked yet, so here's more chilling laughter, sinister humor,
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creep you out:

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| Friday Jokes | Hipster Jokes | The Hulk Jokes | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Puns | Police Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Puns | Superhero Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Edible Puns, Fun with Food Monstrously Funny Puns Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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