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Q. What is a zombie's favorite day of the week? Fray Day!
Q. Why did the police ticket the ghost on Halloween? A. It didn't have a haunting license!
Q. What do you call wood when it's scared? A. Petrified!
Q. Which is the most important subject in witch school? A. Spelling!
Q. What do you call a short vampire? A. A pain in the knee!


Halloween Jokes, Gruesome Puns, Killer Humor
4 out of 5 zombies devour scary Halloween jokes, deadly funny humor, and horror-fying puns.

Bloody Funny Jokes & Frightful Halloween Puns
(Because Ghoulish Humor, Ghostly Jokes, and Gruesome Puns Are Never TOO Mainstream for Halloween!)
Warning: Proceed with Boo Caution! Killer jokes, spooky Halloween humor, and scary puns lie dead ahead.
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Jack-O-Lantern Jokes | Scary Witch Jokes | Monster Humor | Skeleton Jokes | Mummy Puns |
| Ghost Jokes | Cannibal Jokes | Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Scary Drinks | Frightful Food | Scary Fun | Spooky Sports | Frightful Fashion | Scary Dentist |
| Vampire Jokes | Zombie Jokes | Scary Animals | Bat Puns | Bigfoot | Spider Jokes | Clowns |

Q. Which streets do ghosts haunt? A. Dead ends!Q. What do you do if 99 zombies surround your home? A. Hope it's Halloween!Q. Which room doesn't a ghost need? A. The living room!

Q. Why are the toilets in amusement park haunted houses six inches higher than normal?
A. They want to keep visitors on their toes.

Q. What did the thousand-year-old skeleton complain about while trick or treating?
A. Aching bones.

Q. What song do skeleton criminals listen to on Halloween?
A. Bad to the Bone.

Q. How many bones are there in a graveyard?
A. A skele-ton.

Q. What killer round did the zombie order at the bar on Halloween?
A. A shot of ta-kill-ya, a Bloody Mary, and a Mind Eraser!

Q. Where do zombies hunt for dinner?
A. In the living room.

Q. Who won the zombie apolcalypse?
A. Nobody. It was a dead tie.

Q. What happened to the ghoulish standup comedian who performed at the haunted house on Halloween?
A. He got booed off stage.

Q. What do skeletons say when they depart on a Halloween journey?
A. Bone Voyage!

Scary Halloween Tip of the Day: When one door closes and another one opens, your house is definitely haunted. So, run like hell!

Q. What do you call a skeleton that won't get up the morning after Halloween?
A. Lazy Bones!

Q. What is a mortician's favorite Halloween party game?
A. Formaldahyde and ghost seek.

Q. why dod ghosts have to hurry while spooking people? A. Haste not, haunt not!Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? A. He had no body to go with!Q. What do ghosts use to wash their hair? A. Sham-boo!

Q. What do you call a ghost with a broken leg on Halloween?
A. A hoblin goblin!

Q. Why did a girl ghost go on a diet before Halloween?
A. She wanted to keep her ghoulish figure.

Q. What happens if a ghost gets lost in the fog on All Hallows Eve?
A. He is mist!

Q. Which day of the week do ghosts live for?
A. BoosDay.

Q. What do you call a dumb skeleton that does stupid Halloween video stunts?
A. Bonehead.

Q. What song do skeleton bikers ride to?
A. Bone to Be Wild.

Q. How do skeletons reproduce?
A. They bone.

Q. What did the forensic scientist name as the cause of the haunted harpsichord player's death on Halloween?
A. Bad Bach Pain.

Q. What is the Halloween meaning of Pocahontas?
A. A card game that comes back to haunt you.

Q. What do ghouls send their pals when they go on vacation?
Ghost cards.

Haunting Ghost Pick-Up Line: You look boo-tiful tonight!

Q. Why are ghosts so good at sports?
A. They have team spirit!

Q. Why is there a gate around cemeteries? A. Because people are dying ot get in!Q. Why do ghosts maek good cheerleaders? A. Because they have a lot of spirit!Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other? A. They don't have the guts!

Q. What is the safest place to be during the Halloween zombie apocalypse?
A. The Living Room!

Q. What does a zombie say to the dog who's barking at him on Halloween?
A. Go Flesh!

Q. What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
A. Wow, you're in Grave condition!

Q. What time do zombies wake up on Halloween?
A. At Ate O'Clock!

Q. Where do ghosts go sailing on Halloween?
A. Lake Eerie.

Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these bloody funny Halloween puns?
A. These jokes really do SUCK!

Q. What do you get if you cross Google with a vampire?
A. A know-it-all that's a real pain in the neck!

Q. What did the optometrist say to the monster, vampire, and zombie patients in his office lobby on Halloween?
A. You vill see. You vill all see! Muhahahaha!

Q. When does a skeleton laugh?
A. When something tickles his funny bone!

Q. Why did the skeleton cry himself to sleep every night?
A. Because he was empty inside.

Did you hear about the two new skeleton teachers? One's humerus, but the other is very sternum.

Q. Who is the most famous French skeleton?
A. Napoleon Bone-apart.

Q. What goes around a haunted ouse and never stops? A. A fence!Q. Why was the skeleton so mean? A. He didn't have a heart!Q. What do you eat for lunch on a haunted beach? A. A Sand-Witch!

Q. Why did the ghosts leave the Halloween party?
A. Because the sheet was about to hit the fan.

Q. Where does a ghost go on vacation on Halloween?
A. Mali-boo!

Q. Why are ghosts always so happy on Halloween?
A. Because every shroud has a silver lining.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. Why do skeletons hate winter?
A. Because the cold goes right through them.

Q. What happened to the skeleton who got lost in the desert?
A. He was bone dry.

Q. What is skeleton's fave musical instrument?
A. Sax-a-bone!

Q. Why don't skeletons ever fart in front of others?
A. Because they don't have the guts.

Q. What do witches race on?
A. Vroomsticks!

Q. Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A. They're afraid they'll fly off the handle!

Q. What do you get if you cross a witch and a Halloween blizzard in Denver?
A. A cold spell!

Q. What is the name of a witch with only one leg?
A. Eileen.

| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Pumpkin Puns, Jack-O-Lantern Jokes | Scary Witch Humor | Monster Jokes | Skeleton Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Mummy Puns | Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | Scary Clown Jokes | Scary Funny |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze Puns, Spooky Drink LOLs | Frightful Food Puns | Scary Party Jokes |
| Scary Sports Jokes | Frightful Fashion Jokes, Scary Clothing Humor | Scary DentistJokes |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bat Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | Frog Jokes | Snake Puns | Spider Jokes |
| Vampire Jokes | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | Friday the 13th Humor | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor | Cold Puns | Holiday Party Jokes | Daily Jokes |

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You're not scared off yet, so here's more horrifying humor, creepy grins,
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