Q. Why did the ghosts leave the Halloween party?
A. Because the sheet was about to hit the fan.

Q. What do you call a guy who goes to a zombie gala?
A. The life of the party!

Q. Why are ghosts so popular at Halloween parties?
A. 'Cause they always bring the boos!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone there was a goblin.

Q. What do you call a couple of average ghosts at a haunted house party?
A. Paranormals.

Q. What do you call it when a ghost speaks to you twice at a haunted house party?
A. Deja Boo.

Q. What is a vampire's second favorite dance?
A. The Fango!

Q. What do you call a hungry vampire at a wedding reception?
A. Vampire, The Buffet Slayer.

Q. Do ghosts have fun at parties?
A. Yes, they have a wail of a time!

Q. What do young female monsters do at parties?
A. They look for edible bachelors!

Q. How did the werewolf's standup comedy show go?
A. He had the audience howling all night.

Q. What do witches do when they're tired from dancing all nght?
A. They sit down for a spell.

Werewolf Pick-Up Line: Woo baby, howl you doin'?

Q. Where does a skeleton go to party on Saturday night?
A. A hip joint.

Q. Why didn't the werewolf guy go to the big dance?
A. He wanted to, but the full moon gave him paws...

Deadly Funny Thought of the Day: It may be Friday the 13th, but it's still Friday and there's a reason to boogey, man!

Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together at parties?
A. Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

Q. Who did the teen monster take to the school prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the speed dating party?
A. He was hoping to pick up some body!

Q. Why did the monster musician's gig at the mausoleum stink?
A. Because the audience actually was dead.

Q. What did the mummy say when the archeaologist farted at the pyramid party?
A. What Sphinx in Here?

Q. What do demented demon spirits sing when they party on Friday the 13th?
A. Voorhees a Jolly Good Fellow.

Q. How do skeletons in Colorado get high at parties?
A. Marrow-juana.

Q. Which spirited classic rock band's music do ghosts play at their parties?
A. The Grateful Dead.

Q. What's an ancient mummies favorite kind of party music?
A. Ragtime!

Q. Why do hipster spirits like to party at the haunted cemetery?
A. Because it's an underground club.

Q. Why are werewolves considered quick-witted party guests?
A. Because they always joke along with snappy comebacks.

Q. What did the vampires at the party say about the werewolf that ate garlic?
A. His bark is worse than his bite!

Q. What did the werewolf say to the skeleton at the dinner party?
A. Bone Appetite!

Q. Where do demons and ghouls go white water rafting?
A. The River Styx.

Q. Where do North American ghosts like to go sailing?
A. Lake Eerie.

Q. What do thirsty mummies drink at summer parties?
A. Ghoul-Aid!

Q. Why did the guy in the ghost costume get kicked out of the Halloween party?
A. Because he was sheet-faced!

Q. What do crafty Denverites call a group of young kids dressed like ghosts for Halloween?
A. A micro-boo-ery.

Q. Where does a West Ghost ghoul go on vacation?
A. Mali-boo!

Q. Which day of the week do ghosts live for?
A. BoosDay.

Q. Which day of the week do big scary monsters party on most often?
A. Fright Day.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that won't get up in the morning after a wild night of partying?
A. Lazy Bones!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to a single's bar?
A. He wanted to pick up somebody!

Q. What do skeletons say when they depart for a fun vacation?
A. Bone Voyage!

Q. What does a French skeleton call his party buddies?
A. Bone Ami.

Q. What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A. The trombone!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the disco?
A. He heard it was a hip joint.

Q. Why did the ghost starch his sheet before the big party?
A. He wanted to scare everybody stiff!

Q. Which card game did the ancient Egyptian pyramid builders play?
A. Gin Mummy.

Q. Which classic game show do mummies enjoy most?
A. The $20,000 Pyramid.

Q. Which ghost is the best disco dancer?
A. The Boogie Man!

Q. Why wasn't Dr. Frankenstein ever lonely?
A. Because he was good at making new friends.

Q. What kind of appetizers do zombies like at parties?
A. Finger foods

Q. What did the clever zombie say to his hot blonde date?
A. I love a woman with brains!

Q. What happens at a cannibal wedding reception?
A. They toast the bride and groom.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite Shakespeare play?
A. A Midsummer Bite's Dream.

Undead Nightlife Laugh: Did you hear about the new zombie dating service? It's called: Dying to Meat You!

Q. Which vampire always wins at poker parties?
A. Count Luckula.

Q. What does a warlock farmer rap about?
A. Witches and hoes.

Q. What was Dracula doing at the London pub?
A. Having a bloody good time.

Q. Where do British vampires have fun going on a vacation?
A. The Isle of Fright!

Q. Which day of the week makes werewolves howl?
A. MoonDay.

Q. What kind of food do mummies like at parties?
A. Wraps.

Q. How does a zombie introduce himself at parties?
A. "Hello, pleased to eat 'cha!"

Monstrous Pick Up Line: Hey babe, you look dead sexy. Literally.

Q. Who won the skull beauty contest?
A. No body.

Q. Why did the skeleton wear a party hat on his knee?
A. The bonehead thought it would be funny.

Q. What happens if a ghost gets lost in the fog on his way home from the party?
A. He is mist!

Q. Where do ghosts and zombies go for some R and R?
A. The Eerie Canal.

Undead Point to Ponder: Is it true that people who enjoy zombie movies are dead inside?

Q. When does a dead serious skeleton laugh?
A. Only when something tickles his funny bone!

Q. What did Dracula say to The Invisible Man at their class reunion?
A. Long time, no see.

Q. Why did ghosts go to a bar?
A. For the boos!

Q. What did the horny female vampire say to Superman?
A. See you in the Kryp-tonite.

Q. Which day of the week do evil monsters celebrate?
A. Fiend Day.

Q. What is a vampire's least favorite city for a fun vacation?
A. Philadelphia, because it's always sunny there.

Q. Why don't skeletons like parties?
A. They have no body to dance with.

Q. How do crafty mummies cheat at hide and go seek?
A. They use masking tape!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite party game?
A. Hide and Shriek!

Q. What is a mortician's favoritegame?
A. Formaldahyde and ghost seek.

Q. What game do kid zombies play?
A. Corpse and Grave Robbers!

Q. What do little monsters ride at the amusement park?
A. The Scary-Go-Round.

Q. What is a skeleton's favorite board game?
A. Tibial Pursuit.

Q. What bedtime story do little witches like?
A. Ghoul-di-locks and the Three Scares.

Q. What is a mummy's favorite TV game show?
A. Name That Tomb!

Q. What did the ghost's daughter want for her birthday?
A. A haunted dollhouse.

Haunting Ghost Party Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you look boo-tiful tonight!

Q. Why did the party girl ghost try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big boobies.

Q. What happens when you watch skeleton porn?
A. You end up with a boner.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite kind of porno?
A. Ghouls Gone Wild.

Q. Why is it tricky to get stoned with a cannibal?
A. You have to be careful not to say, "Pass me the joint."

Q. What does a cannibal call a stoner?
A. Pot Roast.

Q. Why was the skeleton laughing so har at the party?
A. Something was tickling his funny bone!

Q. Where do monsters go on vacation?
A. Lake Eerie.

Q. Which cheesy pop singer did skeletons groove to decades ago?
A. Bone Jovi.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that does stupid stuff?
A. A bonehead.

Q. Why did the vampires go into a cave?
A. To hang out with his pals.

Q. Why did a vampire run off to join the circus?
A. To become an acrobat.

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus performer?
A. A bloody entertaining act that goes straight for the juggler!

Q. What kind of music do mummies like best?
A. Wrap.

Q. What song do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne.

Q. Why don't vampires like mosquitoes at summer parties?
A. Vampires hate all the petty winged competitors.

Q. How did the ghost say goodbye to a vampire when he left the party?
A. So long, Sucker!

Q. What do ghouls send their pals when they go on vacation?
A. Ghost cards.

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