Q. What did the skeleton say when the ghost lied to hin? A. I can see right through you!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What do you get if Bach dies and reincarnates as twins? A. A pair of re-Bachs!
Q. How are vampires artistic? A. They're good at drawing blood!
Q. why are ghosts so bad at lying? A. Because you can see right through them!
Q. What is a vampire's favorite sport? A. Casketball!

 


Ghoul Humor, Frightful Jokes, Terror-Fying Puns
4 out of 5 vampires agree bloody scary jokes, spooky Halloween humor, and deadly puns suck!

Scary Jokes, Monster Puns, Halloween Humor
(Because Spooky Ghoul Jokes, Haunted Halloween Humor, and Scary Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Killer jokes, hellacious humor, and terrifying puns haunt the underworld below.
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

Q. Why are vampires so easy to fool? A. Because they're suckers!Q. What is a ghoul's favorite game on Halloween? A. Hide-and-ghost-seek!Q. Where do vampires get all their jokes? A. From crypt Writers!

Q. What happened to the vampire standup comedian who performed at the haunted house?
A. He got booed off stage.

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a school teacher?
A. Lots of blood tests.

Q. What do you get if you cross Google with a vampire?
A. A know-it-all that's a real pain in the neck!

Q. What's worse than a hungry vampire?
A. A thirsty vampire.

Q. Why wouldn't the skeleton eat liver?
A. He didn't have the stomach for it.

Q. Which cheesy pop singer did skeletons groove to decades ago?
A. Bone Jovi.

Q. What did the skeleton choose for his stage name?
A. Pelvis.

Q. What did the thousand-year-old skeleton complain about?
A. Aching bones.

Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these bloody funny puns?
A. These jokes really do SUCK!

Q. How do you get into a vampire drama school?
A. Just act supernatural.

Q. What's the difference between a vampire with a toothache and a Colorado thunderstorm?
A. One roars in pain, and the other pours in rain.

True Scary Story: Vampire puns do suck.

Q. What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween? A. The Grim Sleeper!Q. Why did the vampire become an actor? A. He wanted a part he could dig his teeth into!Q. Where does a ghost go to take a nap? A. The dead-room!

Q. Why do skeletons have low self esteem?
A. They have no body to love.

Q. What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
A. Lazy bones.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that stays out in sub-zero weather too long?
A. A Numbskull.

Q. Why did the werewolf chase after the skeleton?
A. 'Cause he had a bone to pick with him.

Q. Where did viking vampires first land in the Americas?
A. In New Fangland.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite craft?
A. En-graving.

Q. When do vampires like to do sneak attacks?
A. On Wince Days.

Q. What did Dracula's wife say to the divorce lawyer after she caught the Count cheating on her?
A. Just bleed him dry!

Q. Why did the ghosts leave the Halloween party?
A. Because the sheet was about to hit the fan.

Q. Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A. Mali-boo!

Q. Why are ghosts so popular at Halloween parties?
A. 'Cause they always bring the boos!

Q. Why are ghosts always happy?
A. Because every shroud has a silver lining.

Q. How does a vampire ask for a date? A. Let's go out for a bite!Q. What do you call wood when it's scared? A. Petrified!Q. What do you call a vampire who lives in the kitchen? A. Count Spatula!

Q. What is a vampire's favorite dance?
A. The Fango!

Q. How do vampires get around?
A. On blood vessels.

Q. Why was the blonde vampire considered simple-minded?
A. Because she was a complete sucker.

Q. Why doesn't Jupiter have a vampire problem?
A. Because there are at least 67 moons there.

Q. What kind of vehicle does Frankenstein drive?
A. A Monster Truck!

Q. Why did Godzilla attack the automobile dealership?
A. Because he wanted to pick up trucks.

Q. Where does Frankenstein go to get a tattoo?
A. Monsters Ink.

Q. What is inscribed on the tombstone of the Frankenstein monster?
A. Rest in Pieces.

Q. What do you call a monster that sucks all the jelly out of doughnuts?
A. A Jampire!

Q. What does Dracula like for dessert?
A. Leeches and scream.

Q. What is even worse than a hungry vampire?
A. A thirsty vampire.

Q. What do vegans and vampires have in common?
A. They don't eat at stake houses.

Q. How would a vampire manage with only one fang? A. Just Grin and Bare It!Q. What are a ghoul's favorite rides at the amusement park? A. The scary-go-round and roller ghoster!A tarantula found a date online. He spider on the web!

Q. What does a vampire fear the most?
A. Tooth decay.

A vampire point to ponder: Are elderly vampires long in the tooth?

Q. What song do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne.

Q. Why did the vampire always keep his fangs so clean?
A. To prevent bat breath!

Q. What did the daddy ghost say to his family while they were driving?
A. Please fasten your sheet belts.

Q. What is in a ghost's nose?
A. Boo-gers!

Q. What do you call the ghost of a chicken?
A. A Poultry Geist.

Q. Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
A. 'Cause they needed a little team spirit.

Q. What do you get when you cross a spider and a squirrel?
A. A pest that will run up your leg and eat your nuts.

Q. Which song did the guy request at his mother-in-law's funeral?
A. Ding Dong the Witch is Dead.

Q. What is read at a female dog's funeral?
A. The o-bitch-uary.

Monstrous Pick Up Line: Hey babe, you look dead sexy. Literally.

| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Daily Jokes | Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor |


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| Friday Jokes | Hipster Jokes | The Hulk Jokes | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Puns | Police Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Puns | Superhero Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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