Q. Who does a movie star vampire get letters from? A. His Fang Club!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. Where do vampires get all their jokes? A. From crypt Writers!
Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these painful puns? A. They Suck!
Q. What do they call a soccer game ref in Transylvania? A. A Vumpire!
Grandpa Munster Says: Happy Moan Day!

 


Vampire Performing Arts Jokes & Vamp Actor Puns
4 out of 5 bats know off-key vampire jokes and frightful humor bites count and really do suck!

Dracula Artist Humor and Vampire Music Jokes
(Because Thespian Vampires Who Juggle and Play the Banjo Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream in the Blood Stream!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Vampires are not fond of bloodless art critics or deadly movie reviews.
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

Q. What is Dracula's favorite circus act? A. He really goes for the juggler!Q. Why did the vampire tke up acting? A. It was in his blood!Q. Why did the vampire become an actor? A. He wanted a part he could dig his teeth into!

Q. What is Dracula's porn star name?
A. Vlad the Impaler.

Q. Which creepy gothic tune do powerful old people moan about?
A. We Suck Young Blood by Radiohead.

Q. Which cult rock song is an ode to Vincent Price and Dracula's obsessions?
A. Night of the Vampire by Roky Erickson.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite Shakespeare play?
A. A Midsummer Bite's Dream.

Q. Why did a vampire join the circus?
A. To become an acrobat.

Q. Which tune exposes that vampires and monsters are not as frightening as falling in love?
A. Dracula's Wedding by Outkast.

Q. How do you get into a vampire drama school?
A. Just act supernatural.

Q. Why is Hollywood full of vampires?
A. They need someone to do bit parts!

Q. Which fans are the favorites of movie vampires?
A. Their fang club.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite pop love song? A. Why do I ignore the girl necks door.Q. Why did the vampire consider hiself a good artist? A. He like to draw blood!Q. What is a vampire's least favorite song? A. Another One Bites The Dust!

Q. Which song is the fave of New Orleans blood suckers?
A. Bloodletting (The Vampire Song) by Concrete Blonde.

Q. Why did the blonde vampire try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big fangs and thangs.

Q. Which type of underwear do vampire actors wear?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. What did the critics say about the vampire's work of art?
A. What a monsterpiece!

Q. Why don't vampires suck the blood of clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus performer?
A. A bloody entertaining act that goes straight for the juggler!

Q. Which high-octane song do vampires sing while they're waiting for gas?
A. Vampire Blues by Neil Young.

Q. Why did the vampire suck the blood of the tightrope walker?
A. Because he wanted a well-balanced meal.

Q. What happened when Dracula uploaded illegal content to YouTube?
A. A count suspended.

Q. What happened when two vampires met? A. Love At First Bite!Q. How are vampires artistic? A. They're good at drawing blood!Q. Which song do vampires really detest? A. You Are My Sunshine!

Q. What is an undead monster's favorite play?
A. Romeo and Ghouliet.

Q. Which fanboy tune was a tribute to Dracula?
A. Nosferatu by Blue Oyster Cult.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite circus act?
A. He really goes for the juggler.

Q. Why did the vampire flunk out of art school?
A. Because he could only draw blood!

Q. Which song begins with the vampire riddle: Why is the world a vampire? Because it sucks?
A. Bullet With Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins.

Did you hear about the vampire musician who tortured his victims? His Bach was worse than his bite.

Q. What do you call a non-fictional vampire?
A. A real pain in the neck!

Bloody Funny Point to Ponder: Do beginning vampire actors have to go to batting practice?

Q. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? A. Wrap music!Q. Why did the vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A. He heard it had the best circulation!Q. What is a vampire's favorite dance? A. The Fangdango!

Q. What song do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne.

Q. Why did the vampire's musical gig at the cemetery go so badly?
A. Because the crowd was pretty dead.

Q. Why did the vampire act so batty?
A. It was in his blood.

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus performer?
A. A bloody entertaining act that goes straight for the juggler!

Q. What happened to the vampire standup comedian who performed at the haunted house?
A. He got booed off stage.

Q. Who does a movie star vampire get letters from?
A. Members of his fang club!

Q. What is a vampire's other favorite dance?
A. The Fango!

Q. Why did Count Dracula take up acting?
A. Because it was in his blood.

Q. Where do vampire authors get their writing instruments?
A. Pennsylvania.

| Actor Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gnome Actor Jokes | Actor Pick-Up Lines | Magic Act Humor |
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Daily Jokes | Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor |


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