Deadly Pun of the Month: When Jason Voorhees tells a joke, it's really killer!

Q. Which spa treatment should you avoid on Friday the 13th?
A. Eyes Cream.

Deadly Funny Thought of the Day: It may be Friday the 13th, but it's still Friday and there's a reason to boogey, man!

Q. What do demented demon spirits sing on Friday the 13th?
A. Voorhees a Jolly Good Fellow.

Q. Why is Friday the 13th a great day to be alive?
A. Because you didn't get hit by a bus on Thursday the 12th!

Q. Who wrote the book, Thirteen Is My Lucky Number?
A. J. Sonvoor Hees.

Q. What do people say on Friday the 13th when Voorhees is after them?
A. Stop Jason Me!

Q. Which dessert do pirates avoid on Friday the 13th?
A. Aye Scream.

Q. Which day of the month do morticians live for?
A. Fri-Die Day the 13th.

Q. Which day of the month does Jason Voorhees anxiously await?
A. Fri-Die the 13th.

The Number 13 walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, we can't serve you. You're under 21."

Q. Which day of the month keeps undertakers the busiest?
A. Fri-Die Day the 13th.

Q. What do you call a vicious ruffian who constantly does wicked things on Friday the 13th?
A. The brute of all evil.

Q. Why do smart zombies absolutely love Friday the 13th?
A. Because the brainy living are only watching out for Jason and aren't suspecting a zombie attack!

Q. What do dyslexic demonic spirits sing on New Year's Eve to ensure a killer new year?
A. Voorhees a Jolly Good Fellow.

Q. What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper bar on Friday the 13th?
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.

Q. What is even worse than Friday the 13th?
A. Monday the 13th. OUCH!

Q. When does a monster's work week begin?
A. On Moan Day!

Q. Which day of the week do corporate witch bosses like best?
A. Moan Day.

Q. When does a monster's work week end?
A. On Fright Day!

Q. Why is Fright Day the 13th is a great day to be alive?
A. Because you weren't struck by lightning on Thors Day the 12th!

Q. What dessert should you always avoid on Friday the 13th?
A. Ice Scream!

Q. Which day of the month do 100% of coven members like best?
A. Friday the 13th (A coven is 13 witches.)

Q. What did a black cat say to a construction worker on Friday the 13th?
A. Fine, just walk around that ladder; I'll just cross your path in a moment.

Q. What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard on Friday the 13th?
A. Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

Q. What do you get if you cross Jason Voorhees and a bowl of oatmeal?
A. A cereal killer!

Q. Which day of the month do serial killers look forward to?
A. Fri-Die the 13th.

Q. Which kind of shoes does Jason wear?
A. Crocs!

Q. What is even scarier than Friday the 13th?
A. Monday the whatever...

Did you know that there are 13 steps leading up to a gallows and 13 knots in a hangman's noose?

Frightful Pointer of the Day: If you think the 13th floor is scary, stay away from basement level 666!

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