Q. What's an ancient mummies favorite kind of music?
A. Ragtime!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid to relax and unwind!

Q. Why don't mummies have hobbies?
A. They're too wrapped up in their work!

Q. What is the mummy's plot to destroy Superman?
A. He's going to try to lure him into the crypt tonight.

Q. How do crafty mummies hide?
A. They use masking tape!

Q. What did the mummy say to the detective?
A. Let's just wrap this case up!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite TV game show?
A. Name That Tomb!

Q. What can a sore mummy do?
A. Go to see his Cairo-practor.

Q. Why do mummies love Halloween?
A. Because of all the candy wrappers!

Q. Where do mummies go for a swim?
A. The Dead Sea!

Q. What did the film director say when the mummy's big scene was perfect?
A. Ok, that's a wrap!

Q. What do you call recurrent dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking you while you're cooking?
A. Rameses Kitchen Nightmares.

Q. Which kind of coffee do mummies prefer?
A. De-coffin-ated.

Q. Why didn't the mummy think he was scary?
A. Because he was still in de-Nile!

Q. How does a mummy attract a mate?
A. With pharaoh moans.

Q. Why was the mummy so tense?
A. He was all wound up.

Q. What do you call a tiny mummy?
A. Tomb Thumb.

Q. How do you use a pyramid's doorbell?
A. Just toot-and-come-in!

Q. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A. They're good at keeping things under wraps.

Q. Is it hard to pass a mummy embalming exam?
A. Nah, it's a real no-brainer.

Q. What did the mummy say when the archeaologist farted?
A. "What Sphinx in Here?"

Q. What do you call an ancient Egyptian mechanic?
A. Toot and Car Man!

Q. What was the most important day of the year in Ancient Egypt?
A. Mummy's Day!

Q. What did the mummy study in school?
A. Cryptography.

Q. Why couldn't the boy mummy have babies?
A. Because he has a hollow-weenie.

Q. Why was the white collar mummy sent to prison?
A. He ran a pyramid scheme.

Q. What do you get if you cross a yellow mummy with a green mummy?
A. A golden moldy!

Q. Which makeup does every mummy wear?
A. Mask-scare-ah.

Q. Where does a mummy drink his espresso?
A. At the Sar-Coffee-Gus.

Q. How did the mummy know it was time to retire?
A. He saw the writing on the wall.

Q. What kind of underwear does a mummy wear?
A. Fruit of the Tomb!

Q. Why were the two flatulent Egyptian archeaologists such good friends?
A. That had loud toots-in-common.

Q. Do mummies enjoy being mummies?
A. Yes, of corpse!

Q. What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A. Stop ragging on me!

Q. How did the mummy become a chef?
A. He read Cooking for Mummies

Q. Why couldn't the famous tenor mummy sing?
A. He injured his lar-sphinx.

Q. Why did the mummy's album hit the Top 10 list?
A. 'Cause he had the tightest wraps!

Pyramid hieroglyph recently decoded:
Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your mummy back.

Q. What kind of food do mummies like at parties?
A. Wraps.

Q. Which card game did the ancient Egyptian pyramid builders play?
A. Gin Mummy.

Q. What do you call a friendly mummy?
A. Chummy.

Q. Why did a mummy go to jail?
A. He got wrapped up in a pyramid scheme.

Q. What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A. A lucky stiff!

Q. Why did the Egyptologist cry?
A. Because he lost all his mummy.

Q. Why was the mummy all sticky?
A. He was wearing gum wrappers.

Q. Which classic game show do mummies enjoy most?
A. The $20,000 Pyramid.

Q. Which hot 70s poster girl is a mummy's fave?
A. Pharaoh Fawcett.

Q. What's a great part-time holiday job for a mummy?
A. Gift Wrapping.

Q. What do mummies drink when they're thirsty?
A. Ghoul-Aid!

Q. How does a mummy start a letter?
A. Tomb it may concern.

Q. What do mummies (and daddies) listen to on Christmas Eve?
A. Wrap Music!

"Mummy, Mummy, can I play with Granmum?" "No, you've dug her up three times this week already!"

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved.