| Q.
Why did the spider take swimming lessons?
A. She wanted to surf the web!
A
black widow drops into the bar. Bartender asks, "What's
your poison?"
Q.
Why do spiders make surprisingly good swimmers?
A. 'Cause they have webbed feet.
Q.
Why shouldn't you wear spider silk pants?
A. 'Cause the flies always get stuck.
Q.
What do you do if you find a spider in your shoe?
A. Tell him it's not his size and smack him with your other
shoe.
Q.
What kind of spider hangs out on coat racks?
A. Daddy Long Pegs.
Q.
How does a hipster spider refer to another spider hipster?
A. Webster.
Q.
How does a spider feel after you step on him?
A. Genuinely crushed.
Q.
Which kind of spider frequents strip clubs?
A. Daddy Thong Legs.
Q.
What's worse than seeing a spider?
A. When it's suddenly gone, and you don't know where it
went!
Q.
Why do spiders have eight legs?
A. 'Cause if they only had six, they'd be insects.
Q.
Which fall beverage do flies avoid?
A. Apple Spider.
Q.
Why do spiders spin webs?
A. 'Cause they don't know how to crochet.
Q.
What does an online spider do?
A. It surfs the web. |
Q.
What do you call it when Spiderman is involved in a love
triangle?
A. A tangled web.
Q.
What would you call it if Spider-Man's cousin, Spider-Cuz,
joined the Marvel universe?
A. A spin off.
Q.
How can you tell when a spider is angy?
A. He goes right up the wall!
Q.
Which kid spider has his own sitcom in the 1980s?
A. Webster.
Gal
Pal: What are spider webs good for?
Blonde: Spiders. DUH!
Q.
Which kind of spider coexists happily with rodents?
A. Ratty Long Legs.
Q.
Which kind of spider plays a percussion instrument in the
orchestra?
A. Daddy Gong Legs.
Q.
Which kind of spider writes musical lyrics?
A. Daddy Song Legs.
Q.
Why was the arachnid howling?
A. 'Cause he was a wolf spider.
Q.
Where do spiders learn what a new word means?
A. They use Webster's Dictionary.
Q.
What did the spider do at her job at the PR firm?
A. She put a positive spin out there.
Q.
Which kind of spider hangs out at busy intersections and
panhandles?
A. Daddy Long Begs.
Q.
Why did the Russian spider crawl under the bedspread?
A. He was working under cover.
Q.
Why was the black widow spending so much time online?
A. She was beta testing her new dating website
for spinsters.
|
Q.
What do you call it when a dozen spiders are riding on a
unicycle tire?
A. A spinning wheel.
Q.
Why do spiders make terrible pilots?
A. 'Cause they randomly go into tail spins.
Q.
Why did the tarantula drive off in the spider's car?
A. He just wanted to go for a quick spin.
Q.
Why was that big ol' spider such a bad driver?
A. Because he was always spinning out.
Q.
Which classic toy still fascinates spiders?
A. Toy tops, 'cause they're always spinning.
Q.
Which spider ran away from the ball?
A. Spin-derella.
Q.
What did the blonde name her new pet wolf spider?
A. Fang.
Q.
What did Miss Muffet name her new pet spider?
A. Charlotte.
Q.
Why did the spider sit beside Miss Muffet?
A. He was trying to frighten the tuffet away.
Q.
What did the blonde in London name her new pet tarantula?
A. Harry.
Q.
Which spider is indigenous to Ireland?
A. Paddy Long Legs.
Q.
What happens when your pet tarantula escapes?
A. Everybody in the house bugs out!
Black
Widower Pick-Up
Line: Hey bae, ever tried a sex swing made of spiderwebs?
Q.
What do Geek Spiders do all day?
A. Build websites.
Q.
Which kind of Middle Eastern spider explodes when you find
its web?
A. Jihaddy Long Legs. |
