Q. Why do gorillas tell such bad stories? A. Because they don't have any tales!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. What's the first thing gorillas learn in school? A. The Ape-B-Cs!
Q. Why did the gorilla climb up the sides of a skyscraper? a. The elevator was broken!

Q. How do yu keep a big gorilla from charging? A. Take his credit card!
Q. Why do waiters like gorillas better than flies? A. Customers never say: "Waiter, there's a gorilla in my soup!"


Ape Jokes, Killa Gorilla Puns, Bad Baboon Humor
Go completely ape over angry grrr-illa puns, uncouth baboon humor, and big primate jokes.

Gorilla Jokes, Hairy Ape Humor, King Kong Puns
(Because Ape-horrent Gorilla Jokes and BaBOOM Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for King Kong's Barber!)
Warning: Proceed with Due Caution! King Kong jokes, buff-oon LOLs, great ape humor and pry mate puns ahead.
| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns, King Kong Humor | 2 | 3 | Chimpanee Jokes, Impish Chimp Puns |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes | Colorado Wildlife Jokes |

Q. Where does a gorilla get its hair stylled? A. Vidal BaboonQ. Why did King Kong climb up the Empire State Building? A. He didn't fit in the elevator!Q. Why did the actor fire his gorilla agent? A. The big ape wanted more than a 10% bite.

Q. Why did King Kong go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.

Q. What makes male gorillas snore at night?
A. Sleep ape-nea.

Q. Which gorilla gal made it into the Playboy calendar?
A. Miss Ape-ril.

Q. How do gorgeous girl-illas put on their eye makeup?
A. With an ape-plicator.

Q. Why did King Kong climb up the outside of the Empire State Building?
A. 'Cause the elevator was full.

Q. Why don't gorillas ever play cards in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs there.

Q. What sound does a gorilla's doorbell make?
A. King Kong.

Q. Where do gorillas live in big cities?
A. In an ape-artment.

Q. Why did the big ape jump off the tall building?
A. He wanted to show Hollywood exactly what he was made of.

Q. What is the goal of every gorilla actor?
A. Ape-art in a King Kong movie.

Q. What is King Kong's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.

Q. Why was the big gorilla so uncouth?
A. Because he was raised in a zoo.

Q. Why are some gorillas so noisy? A. They were raised in a zoo!Q. Why couldn't the gorilla pitcher make it in the Major League? A. His balk was worse than his bite!Q. Which US President was the favorite of large primates? A. Hairy S. Truman!

Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!

Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!

Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.

Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.

Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!

Q. What do you call guys who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons.

Q. Why did the big ape spend so much time on the golf course?
A. He was perfecting his swing.

Q. What do you call the big ape who made the winning play in the Super Bowl?
A. Chimpion!

US Politics Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that a group of baboons is called a congress?

Q. What does the big ape call hs penis?
A. King Kong.

Q. Why don't chimpanzees speak English?
A. They just don't have the ape-titude.

Q. What do big apes do when they're mad at each other? A. They wage gorilla warfare!Q. What do you call six green gorillas? A. A bunch of cr-apes!Q. What is a gorilla attorney's specialty? A. the law of the jungle!

Q. What do you get when an ape enters a minefield?
A. Bamboom.

Q. How do you describe a shocking and despicable gorilla?
A. Ape-palling.

Q. What do you call an angry big ape?
A. Grrrr-illa.

Q. What do zoo visitors call a disgusting act by a gorilla?
A. Ape-horrent.

Q. What does a big gorilla bring to the potluck dinner?
A. Just his ape-petite.

Q. Which great apes enjoy eating seafood?
A. Shrimpanzees.

Q. What did the big ape order at the bar?
A. A sass-gorilla.

Q. Whis kind of large primate is indigenous to Hawaii?
A. The pine-ape-ple.

Q. How do you catch a fugitve gorilla that's escaped from the zoo?
A. You ape-prehend him.

Q. What doe gorilla burglars do after the robbery?
A. Ape-scond away from the scene of the crime.

Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!

Q. Which kind of large primate can fly?
A. A hot-air baboon.

Q. If you toss a great ape into a great lake, what does it become? A. Wet!Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot and a gorilla? A. dunno, but if it talks, you'd better listen!Q.. Why do gorillas have large nostrils? A. Because they have big fingers!

Q. Where do gorillas go to work out?
A. To a jungle gym.

Q. What do you call a foursome of gorilla golfers?
A. Par mates.

Q. Who assists the big gorilla plumber?
A. His ape-prentice.

Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.

Q. What do zoologists call a horrific genetic experiment performed on gorillas?
A. An ape-bomination.

Hairy Primate Fact of the Day: Big apes who tell you that they're constipated are full of crap.

Q. Why couldn't the big baboon get into trade school?
A. He failed the Ape-titude test.

Q. What do you call a nosey gorilla that butts into everybody else's monkey business?
A. Pry mate.

Q. What do you call a one-armed gorilla?
A. Ape-utee.

Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!

Q. How do you prepare a gorilla sundae? A. You have to start on Fridae or Saturdae!Q. What is a killa gorilla's favorite day of the week? A. Bye Day!Q. What do you feed a 600-pound gorilla? a. Anything it wants, but not monkey bread!

Q. What do you call a big ape who only eats fruity desserts?
A. Pie mate.

Q: What is a hairy ape's favorite cookie?
A: Chocolate chimp!

Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes ape-solutely bananas!

Q. What is a primate's favorite flavor of ice cream?
A. Banana Chocolate Chimp.

Q. What do you call an explosive primate fart?

Gorilla Gym Rat Groan of the Day: Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!

Q. What do you call a troop of mammals that attend religious services?
A. Pray mates.

Q. What is an Evangelical gorilla called?
A. Ape-priaser.

Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.

Q. Where did the bonobo like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea.

Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.

Q. What do you call a cremated gorilla?
A. Pyre-mate.

| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2 | 3 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
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