Q. Why did Dracula quit the baseball team? A. Because they'd only let him be bat boy!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Baseball Says: Happy batter Day!
Q. Why did the cops go to the baseball game? A. they heard somebody was stealing bases!
Q. Why was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player? A. Because she had a pumpkin for a coach!
Why can't chefs play baseball? Because they always get caught trying to steal the basil!
When the T-ball players started crying, the ball field became a bawl park!
Q. How do you kow you have a female umpire? A. She remembers ....arguments from previous games!

 


Baseball Jokes, Home Run Humor, Foul Puns
Play ball with high-hitting baseball jokes, ballpark puns, off base humor and batter's up laughs.

Baseball Player Jokes and Ball Game Humor
(Because Home Run Humor and Base Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Softball Players or Baseball Fans!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Foul balls, blind umpires, and painful baseball bunt puns ahead.
| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Camping Puns and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes |
| Gym Jokes and Workout Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gnome Gym Jokes | Running Jokes and Jogger Puns |
| Soccer Jokes and Futbol Humor | Sports Animal Jokes | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Sports Humor | Snow Skiing Jokes
|

The baseball team's winning streak continued won by won!Q. Why is Bruce Wayne so good at baseball? A. Because he's Batman!Q. Why did the pastry chef hire a pitcher? A. Because he knew how to handle the batter!

A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him!

Baseball Point to Ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?

Q. What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
A. You're left in stitches.

Q. Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
A. It just wasn't getting any hits.

Q. How does a Colorado Rockies fan make a peanut at Coors Field laugh?
A. Crack it up!

Ballpark Laugh of the Day: A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.

Q. Where do baseball players wash up?
A. In the bat tub.

Q. What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
A. Both are serious sluggers!

Q. Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
A. 'Cause he never got to home base!

Q. Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
A. 'Cause they're so catchy.

Ballpark Point to Ponder: Is softball slier than baseball? 'Cause the tactics seem so underhanded.

Q. What did the baseball fans call is when the struggling pitcher was replaced?
A. A welcome relief!

Q. Why don't baseball players join unions?
A. They don't like to be called out on strike.

Q. Why do the ladies love baseball?
A. Because diamonds are a girl's best friend!

Q. Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blonde outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
A. 'Cause she's a bad catch.

Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blonde Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park!

Q. How do you describe the major league scout’s effect on the baseball team?
A. Pro Found.

Baseball Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I'd really like to mitt you!

Q. What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? A. Babe Root!Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat!If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment!

Q. Why are frogs great outfielders?
A. Because they never miss a fly!

Q. Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
A. The Umpire Strikes Back.

Q. Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
A. 'Cause the pitcher only threw scewballs!

Q. Why did the blonde softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
A. So they'd get more runs than the opponents.

Q. What did the infielder's mitt say to the baseball?
A. Hey baby, you're quite a catch!

Q. What do vocalists and some baseball players have in common?
A. Being pitch-perfect.

Q. Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
A. Homer Simpson.

Q. What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A. A baseball team.

Q. Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
A. 'Cause they needed a little team spirit.

Q. Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
A. 'Cause the manager knew he could wrap it up.

Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...

Q. Which baseball team do wine lovers always root for?
A. The Reds!

Q. Why don't matches play baseball?
A. Because one strike, and they're out!

Q. What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
A. One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.

Q. What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
A. One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH!

Q. Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
A. He wanted to work on his sales pitch.

Q. Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
A. 'Cause they don't know where home is.

Q. What did it take to keep the great pitcher on the baseball team?
A. Management had to strike up a good deal.

The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye!The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs!Q. What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game? A. The Champire!

Q. Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
A. They heard somebody stole third base.

Q. Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
A. The batter.

Q. What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
A. Sliders.

Q. Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
A. On a baseball field!

Q. What's the difference between baseball and law?
A. In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

Q. Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
A. She hoped to catch some fowl balls.

Q. How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
A. They touch base every once in a while.

Q. What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A. A throw rug!

Q. Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
A. He knew he had a chest protector.

Q. What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
A. The bass line.

Q. What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
A. If you don't suceed at first, try second base.

Q. How did the starter and the two relievers win the baseball game?
A. They all pitched in.

Q. Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
A. Bat boy.

Q. Why did the vampire strike out?
A. He used the wrong bat!

Q. What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A. A double header!

Q. Why don't skeletons play baseball?
A. Because they don't have the heart for it.

Q. Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
A. Homer.

Q. Do baseball players ever wear armor?
A. Only during knight games.

Q. What is a halfway home?
A. Second base.

When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up!"Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs!When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?

Q. What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A. A fly swatter!

Q. Why are some umpires fat?
A. Because they always clean the plate.

Q. What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A. A Dino-Score!

Q. When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
A. After all the fans have left.

Q. How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
A. Both make fowl calls.

Q. What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
A. Square root for the home team.

Q. Why was the baseball team's batter so popular with the fans?
A. Because he reached first, second, and third on a regular bases.

And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.

Q. Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
A. Ben Whayten.

Q. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
A. Catch ya later!

Q. What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
A. Home plates.

Q. How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
A. Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.

Q. Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he pitches?
A. If he raised both, he'd fall down!

Q. Which baseball strategy uses a pine-tarred bat?
A. A sticky bunt

Q. What are the rules in zebra baseball?
A. Three stripes, and you're out!

Q. Why were there cows on the baseball field?
A. Because they were looking for the bullpen!

Major League Point to Ponder: Thou shall not steal, except in baseball!

Q. How can you tell if an ambidextrous baseball player is bisexual as well?
A. He swings both ways.

Q. How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
A. They sit among their fans.

Q. Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
A. Ben Schwarmer.

Q. What happened when the home team was up 10-0?
A. The fans at the baseball stadium were having a field day.

| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Camping Puns and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes |
| Gym Jokes and Workout Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gnome Gym Jokes | Running Jokes and Jogger Puns |
| Soccer Jokes and Futbol Humor | Sports Animal Jokes | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Sports Humor | Snow Skiing Jokes |

| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |

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You're still up at bat, so here's even more hard-hitting humor, base grins,
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| Road Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Superhero Jokes | Travel Jokes | Vampire Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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