A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him!

Baseball Point to Ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?

Q. What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
A. You're left in stitches.

Q. Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
A. It just wasn't getting any hits.

Q. How does a Colorado Rockies fan make a peanut at Coors Field laugh?
A. Crack it up!

Ballpark Laugh of the Day: A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.

Q. Why are there so many baseball night games?
A. 'Cause the bats are asleep during the day.

Q. Where do baseball players wash up?
A. In the bat tub.

Q. What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
A. Both are serious sluggers!

Q. Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
A. 'Cause he never got to home base!

Q. Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
A. 'Cause they're so catchy.

Ballpark Point to Ponder: Is softball more sly than baseball? 'Cause the tactics seem so underhanded.

Q. What did the baseball fans call it when the struggling pitcher was replaced?
A. A welcome relief!

Q. What happened after some cub scouts found a bat in a cave?
A. They decided to play baseball.

Q. Why don't baseball players join unions?
A. They don't like to be called out on strike.

Q. Why do the ladies love baseball?
A. Because diamonds are a girl's best friend!

Q. Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blonde outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
A. 'Cause she's a bad catch.

Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blonde Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park!

Q. How do you describe the major league scout’s effect on the baseball team?
A. Pro Found.

Q. Which sport requires that players have jumbo-sized lower limbs?
A. Major-leg baseball.

Baseball Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I'd really like to mitt you!

Q. Why are frogs great outfielders?
A. Because they never miss a fly!

Q. Why should China have a national championship baseball team?
A. 'Cause they could easily eliminate everybody else with just one bat.

Q. Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
A. The Umpire Strikes Back.

Q. Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
A. 'Cause the pitcher only threw scewballs!

Q. Why did the blonde softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
A. So they'd get more runs than the opponents.

Q. What did the infielder's mitt say to the baseball?
A. Hey baby, you're quite a catch!

Q. What do vocalists and some baseball players have in common?
A. Being pitch-perfect.

Q. Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
A. Homer Simpson.

Q. What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A. A baseball team.

Q. Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
A. 'Cause they needed a little team spirit.

Q. Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
A. 'Cause the manager knew he could wrap it up.

Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...

Q. Which baseball team do wine lovers always root for?
A. The Reds!

Q. Why did the witch's baseball team lose the big game?
A. 'Cause all their bats flew away.

Q. Why don't matches play baseball?
A. Because one strike, and they're out!

Q. What is the new men's deodorant called Umpire used for?
A. Fowl balls

Q. What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
A. One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.

Q. What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
A. One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH!

Q. Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
A. He wanted to work on his sales pitch.

Q. Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
A. 'Cause they don't know where home is.

Q. What did it take to keep the great pitcher on the baseball team?
A. Management had to strike up a good deal.

Q. Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
A. They heard somebody stole third base.

Q. Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
A. The batter.

Q. What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
A. Sliders.

Q. Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
A. On a baseball field!

Q. What's the difference between baseball and law?
A. In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

Q. Where do bats perfect their baseball skills?
A. At the batting cages.

Q. Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
A. She hoped to catch some fowl balls.

Q. How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
A. They touch base every once in a while.

Q. What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A. A throw rug!

Q. Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
A. He knew he had a chest protector.

Q. What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
A. The bass line.

Q. What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
A. If you don't suceed at first, try second base.

Q. How did the starter and the two relievers win the baseball game?
A. They all pitched in.

Q. What is it called when an umpire is so bored that he is obviously daydreaming?
A. Referee reverie.

Q. Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
A. Bat boy.

Q. Which mammals make the best baseball team mascots?
A. Bats.

Q. Why did the vampire strike out?
A. He used the wrong bat!

Q. What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A. A double header!

Q. Why don't skeletons play baseball?
A. Because they don't have the heart for it.

Q. Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
A. Homer.

Q. Do baseball players ever wear armor?
A. Only during knight games.

Q. What is a halfway home?
A. Second base.

Q. What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A. A fly swatter!

Q. Why are some umpires fat?
A. Because they always clean the plate.

Q. What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A. A Dino-Score!

Q. When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
A. After all the fans have left.

Q. How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
A. Both make fowl calls.

Q. What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
A. Square root for the home team.

Q. Why was the baseball team's batter so popular with the fans?
A. Because he reached first, second, and third on a regular bases.

Q. Who was the most famous corn baseball player?
A. Ty Cob.

Q. Why was the baseball player fired?
A. 'Cause he just didn't catch on.

And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.

Q. Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
A. Ben Whayten.

Q. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
A. Catch ya later!

Q. What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
A. Home plates.

Q. How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
A. Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.

Q. Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he pitches?
A. If he raised both, he'd fall down!

Q. Why were the kids able to play an impromptu game of baseball?
A. 'Cause there were plenty of gloves on hand.

Q. Which baseball strategy uses a pine-tarred bat?
A. A sticky bunt

Q. What are the rules in zebra baseball?
A. Three stripes, and you're out!

Q. Why were there cows on the baseball field?
A. Because they were looking for the bullpen!

Major League Point to Ponder: Thou shall not steal, except in baseball!

Q. How can you tell if an ambidextrous baseball player is bisexual as well?
A. He swings both ways.

Q. How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
A. They sit among their fans.

Q. Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
A. Ben Schwarmer.

Q. What happened when the home team was up 10-0?
A. The fans at the baseball stadium were having a field day.

Q. Where do relief players hang out during loon league baseball games?
A. In the duck-out.

Old baseball players never die. But, they do go a little batty.

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