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Q. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? A. She didn't suit his taste!
Q. What did one firefly say to another? A. You glow girl!

Q. Why does a chef give his lady pastry on Valentine's Day? A. He cannoli love her!
Chimp Chef Asks: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? A. you get buttered up!
Q. What did the Valentine's Day card say to the stamp? A. Stick with me and you'll go places!
Q. What did the French chef give his love on valentine's Day? A. A Hug and a Quiche!


Lady Friend Jokes, Gal Pal Puns, Sweetie Humor
Get cozy with ghoul friend puns, gorilla my dreams humor, lady love laughs and ex-girlfriend jokes.

Girlfriend Jokes, Sweetheart Humor, Bae Puns
(Because Lady Love Jokes and Ghoul Friend Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Your Soon-To-Be Ex-Girlfriend!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Best girl jokes, sweet baby humor, steady gal laughs and grill friend puns ahead.
| Girlfriend Jokes | Dating Jokes | Online Dating Jokes | Steady Relationship Jokes | Lover Jokes |
| Lady Jokes, Woman Puns | Female Body Jokes | Ladies Room LOLs | Women Drinking Jokes |
| Wife Jokes | Blonde LOLs | Hair Puns | Fashion Jokes | Bra Jokes | Psychic Puns | Wine Jokes |

Q. What is a vampire's lover called? A. His Ghoul Friend!
Chef's girlfriend was grate in many ways, but she had a temper that boiled, was half-baked, and was extremely kneady.
Q. How does a rooster kiss his girlfriend? A. With his pecker!

Q. Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
A. To confirm she was his type.

Q. What does a ghoul say to break up with her vampire boyfriend?
A. So long, Sucka!

Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A. Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

Q. Why did the guy brag that his girlfriend is a blow up doll?
A. 'Cause she takes his breath away.

Q. Why did the monster squeeze his ghoulfriend to death?
A. He had a crush on her.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. He wiped his butt.

Q. Who did the teen monster take to the school prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. What dessert describes your girlfriend after a strenuous workout at the gym?
A. Sore Bae.

A chef's girlfriend bet him a hundred dollars that he couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face when he drove right pasta.

Q. What did Pat say to his girlfriend?
A. You're my butter half.

Q. What happened when the pastry chef's girlfriend came home early?
A. She caught him master baking.

My girlfriend is so vegan, that she won't even have her photograph taken in case he has to say: "Cheese."

Q. How does a backyard barbeque enthusiaist refer to his steady lady?
A. As his grill friend.

Red Hot Lovers Humor: Brought a new grill home last night. She's a real gas and she's really hot, especially after you turn her on!

Q. How does a rooster show affection to his girlfriend?
A. He gives her a peck on the cheek.

Q. Why did the guy break up with his watermelon vendor girlfriend?
A. Because she was always so melon-dramatic about everything!

Q. What does every sole fisherman want?
A. A gill-friend!

Q. Why was it so easy for the big ape to find a girlfriend?
A. 'Cause he had ape-peal.

Q. How does the big ape describe his girlfriend?
A. Gorilla my dreams.

Q. What happens when a gorilla's girlfriend cheats on him?
A. He goes ape.

Q. What dors a big hairy primate call his steady lady?
A. Girl-illa.

Hulk Says: When I asked my girl if she wanted a ring made of silver or gold, she said either ore!
Q. Why did a guy have his girlfriend arrested on Valentine's Day? A. She stole his heart!
Did you hear about a vampire who fell in love with his neighbor? She was teh ghoul necks door!

Q. How does a math professor propose to his girlfriend?
A. With a polynomial ring!

Q. What does a romantic pet parrot offer his lady love?
A. An en-cage-ment ring.

Q. What did the bodybuilder say when his girlfriend dumped him for some other gym rat?
A. I'm feelin' the burn.

Q. Why do photographers make such great girlfriends?
A. 'Cause they don't mind if you shoot raw.

Q. Why did the league bowler's girlfriend break up with him?
A. She claimed he was a real pinhead.

Q. Why did the pro bowler's girlfriend break up with him?
A. All the kegling jokes just weren't up her alley.

Q. What does the gym rat call his bodybuilder steady girl?
A. His curl friend.

Q. What does a soccer player call his steady girl?
A. His goal friend.

Q. What did the guy call his best bae who was into extreme sports and risk taking?
A. His thrill friend.

Q. What did the guy do when his girlfriend walked in on him while he was cleaning his guns?
A. He greeted her with open arms.

Boyfriend: What are your thoughts on guns?
His Blonde Bae: That's a loaded question.

Q. Why did the blonde guy trip over his girlfriend's bra?
A. 'Cause it was a booby trap.

Q. How does the bitter guy refer to his twisted and demented ex-bae?
A. As his ex-girl-fiend.

Q. What did the clumsy ape say when he slipped on a banana peel in front of his new girlfriend?
A. Babe, I'm really falling for you.

Q. What does a party boy call his drunken bae when she's vomitting in the bathroom?
A. His hurl friend. EW!

Q. What do you call a lady love who isn't lost anymore?
A. A girl found.

Q. What does the guy call his contortionist bae?
A. His girl bend.

Q. What happens when a guy with a gas grill and his girlfriend with a smoker fall in love?
A. They live together in holy meatrimony!

Q. Why doesn't Dracula have a steady girlfriend?
A. Because he's such a big pain in the neck.

Q. Why did the guy break up with his vampire girlfriend?
A. 'Cause she sucked the life right out of him.

Q. What did the skeleton say to his ghoul friend?
A. I love every bone in your body!

Q. What does a ghost use to call his girlfriend?
A. A Terror-Phone!

Q. Why did the ghost leave the Halloween party with his ghoul friend?
A. Because the sheet was about to hit the fan.

Q. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
A. She just didn't suit his taste.

The cannibal chef daintily wiped his mouth and said, "My girlfriend makes great soup. I'm really going to miss her."

Q. Why did the Egyptian archeaologist have such a good relationship with his flatulent girlfriend?
A. That had loud toots-in-common

Q. Why wasn't Dr. Frankenstein ever lonely?
A. Because he was good at making new friends.

Q. What did the guitarist do when he needed to turn his amp on? A. He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it!
Q. Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? A. Cloud 9
Guy: I love you so much. I could never live without you. Girl: Is tha you or the beer talking? Guy: It's me talking to the beer.

Q. Why did the drummer's girlfriend break up with him?
A. 'Cause he snared in bed.

The musician's girlfriend had tears in her eyes when he asked her to marry him. It might be because he proposed with an onion ring...

Q. What does a sex-starved guy sing to his steady dish?
A. My grill, talking 'bout my grill, my grill.

Q. What does the marching band tuba player call his gal pal who carries a baton?
A. His twirl friend.

Computer Nerd Lament of the Day: My girlfriend and my computer have something in common. Neither one is responding.

Q. Why did the guy's girlfriend cheat on him with a space alien?
A. 'Cause the sex was out of this world!

Q. Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
A. He claimed he needed more space.

Q. Why did the locksmith's girlfriend happily agree to marry him?
A. Because he's a real keeper!

Q. What did the beef steak gossip say to the pork chop?
A. Did you meet Frank's new girlfriend, Patty? I hear they're engaged to be marinated.

My girlfriend is the square root of -100. She's a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

Q. What did the tech guy call his last teched-out girlfriend?
A. His iPhone Ex.

Q. What kind of a girlfriend does a tater want?
A. A sweet potato.

Q. How does the boy oyster refer to his steady girl?
A. As his pearl friend.

Q. What does a sea bird call his lady love?
A. His gull friend.

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy ... so I got drunk.

A guy was folding his pants, fresh out the clothes dryer, and found a dollar in a pocket. His inquisitive blonde girlfriend walked in and asked, "Beau, how long have you been laundering money?"

Tasty Cannabis Chat Up: Hey, my girlfriend and I are having a bake sale. Wanna joint us?

Ringing Groan of the Day: A guy mentioned that his girlfriend wasn't a very good wrestler, but you should see her box.

Q. What did the hockey player say to his girlfriend?
A. Goal! I've slid into your heart!

Q. What did the twisted Frnch fry call his best gal pal?
A. His curl friend.

Q. What do you call a tornado's gal pal?
A. A whirl friend.

Q. Why did the dentist ask his secretary out? A. He was already taking out her tooth!
Hulk Says: Call me Spider-Man because I'm in love with Mary Jane!
I'll tie your shoes so you don't fall for gnome body else!

Q. What did the dentist's girlfriend say when she broke up with him?
A. No hard fillings...

Q. Why did the guy break up with his chiropractor girlfriend?
A. Because she was too munipulative.

My girlfriend has beautifully colored eyes. I particulary like the blue one.

Q. How can a snowman tell when his lady friend is mad at him?
A. She only gives him the cold shoulder.

Did you hear about the guy who took his girlfriend to the optometrist because she had issues with her vision? Turns out she was seeing other men.

Q. What did the guy say when he bumped into his ex-girlfriend right after getting new glasses?
A. Hey, long time, no see!

Q. What did the optometrist say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A. Eye Love You!

Did you hear about the guy who took his girlfriend to the optometrist because she had issues with her vision? Turns out she was seeing other men.

Q. Why did his girlfriend dump the guy who collected too many superhero comics?
A. She said he just had too many issues.

Q. Why doesn't The Hulk beat around the bush?
A. Because he has a girlfriend!

The Hulk does not have a girlfriend, but he does know a woman who'd be mad at him for saying that.

Painful Point to Ponder: So, The Incredible Hulk is Coming? He must have a hot girlfriend.

Q. What do you call it if you're seeing a girl from another planet?
A. An inter-spacial relationship.

Q. What did the sci-fi fan say to his girlfriend who didn't like Star Trek?
A. I need to break up with you because I need space.

Q. What did a regretful wookiee's girlfriend say after she broke up with him?
A. Big guy, I want Chewbacca!

Q. What does a fern call its best gal pal?
A. Its girl frond.

If looks could kill, my ex girlfriend could have killed around corners.

ESP Groan of the Day: A guy took his psychic girlfriend ice skating, but she fell through the ice. Fortunately, Claire's buoyant.

Q. Why did the pirate break up with his girlfriend?
A. He wasn't getting the booty.

Pharmacist Translation of the Day: A doctor wrote a guy a prescription for daily sex, but his girlfriend insists that it says for dyslexia.

Lady's Night Mantra: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!

Q. What do young calves call their lifelong buddies?
A. Best Friends for Heifer!

Q. What did the knitting needle call his best gal pal?
A. His purl friend.

Q. What does the USA flag call the Colorado state flag when they cozy up after dark?
A. Furl friend.

Holiday Chat Up Line: Yo Bae, do you have a boyfriend? 'Cause I Kwanza be yo beau.

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