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Q. What
sound does
a limping
turkey make?

A. Wobble, Wobble.

Q. What do you call a ison that ate too much at Thanksgiving? A. A stuff-alo!

Q. What is it
called when turkeys
rain out
of the sky?

A. Fowl

Q. What do you call a tater that smokes weed? A. A Baked Potato!
Wine lover's humor: Sometimes we all need a riesling to be cheerful!

Thanksgiving Jokes, Yam Puns, Turkey Humor
Gobble up gravy puns, sweet potato grins, pilgrim humor, stuffing jokes and leftover laughs.

Thanksgiving Dinner Jokes and Turkey Day Puns
(Because Gobble Puns and Overeating Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Thankful It's Done!)
Warning: Proceed Cold Turkey! Mashed potato jokes, cranberry sauce humor, and plump kin pie puns ahead.
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Q. What is a vampire's favorite holiday? A. Fangs-Giving!

The female foxes got together to make a Thanksgiving dinner with all the vixens!

After rubbing seasonings on the Thanksgiving turkey, the chef had some spare thyme on her hands!

Q. What did the hen turkey say to her naughty kids on Thanksgiving?
A. If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Q. What happens when a hipster attends your Thanksgiving dinner?
A. He'll eat the leftovers before they're cool.

Q. What do nerds call a computer geek who loves to work during a November holiday?
A. A Thanksgiving techie.

Q. What is the biggest decision you'll have to make this November?
A. Pecan pie or pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving?

Turkey Day Fact: Thanksgiving is the only USA holiday when the mascot is butchered and devoured. Aren't you glad that doesn't happen on Alrerd Packer Day in Colorado?

Q. What do turkeys eat on Thanksgiving?
A. Nothing. 'Cause they're already stuffed.

Q. Which dance do you want to avoid after eating Thanksgiving dinner?
A. The Turkey Trots.

Q. What is it called when you overeat at Thanksgivng dinner?
A. Gobble 'til you wobble.

Q. How can you tell the Thanksgiving chefs are have a very serious discussion?
A. They're talking turkey.

Q. Why do Thanksgiving turkeys always gobble, gobble?
A. 'Cause they don't have better table manners.

Q. What's the difference between chickens and turkeys in November?
A. Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.

Q. What is the Colorado code phrase for stepping out to fire up a blunt before the rest of the family arrives for Turkey Day dinner?
A. Let's get basted!

Q. What do meat-eaters call it if you serve tofu turkey on Thanksgiving?
A. Pranksgiving.

Q. What did the fireman say at Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Stop, drop, and pass the rolls.

Q. What did the heavy metal-loving chef say about cooking the best Thanksgiving turkey?
A. I'm all about the baste.

Q. Why do Coloradans smoke a bowl before Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Because there's no better time to get the munchies!

Q. Why couldn't the guy stop eating Thanksgiving leftovers?
A. He just coulldn't quit cold turkey.

Q. How are Thanksgiving and Election Day different?
A. On Thanksgving, you get a big baked turkey for a day, not for an entire term.

Q. what did the turkey say to the guy who tried to shoot hin? A. Screw Thee, Pilgrim!

Q. What does
a turkey do
online on

A. Google, Google, Google.

Q. What's the best way to stuff a turkey? A. Feed him lots of pizza and ice cream!

Q. What do you call a happy Thanksgiving guest?
A. A pil-grin.

Q. Who kIlled and butchered the turkey at the first Thanksgiving?
A. The pil-grim reaper.

Q. What did the wild turkey say to the pilgrim the day before the second Thanksgiving?
A. Quack, quack.

Q. What did the pilgrims call their Native American friends at the first Thanksgiving feast?
A. Pal-grims.

Q. Whick keys can't unlock doors?
A. Turkeys and monkeys.

Q. Why do turkeys play drums before Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause they still have their drumsticks then.

Q. Why should you avoid sitting next to a turkey at Thanksgiving dinner?
A. 'Cause they always gobble it up.

Q. If a big turkey is a gobbler, what do you call a small turkey on the Thanksgiving dinner table?
A. A goblet.

Q. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?
A. Lucky!

Q. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A. He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Q. Why wasn't the Thanksgiving stuffing seasoned this year?
A. 'Cause the cook ran out of thyme.

Q. Why did the pumpkin pie finish its Thanksgiving dinner?
A. 'Cause it was filling.

Q. Which kind of Thanksgiving dessert has the most calories?
A. Plump-kin pie.

Q. Which web site is Tom Turkey's favorite?
A. Google, Google, Google!

Q. Which
music genre
did the
Pilgrims like?

A. Plymouth

Q. Why do pirates love Thanksgiving? A. Because they get to carrrve the turkey!

Q. Why didn't
the turkey
eat dessert on Thanksgiving?

A. 'Cause he
was stuffed.

Q. Why did the Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
A. Because they wore their buckles on their hats and shoes.

Q. What did the well-dressed pilgrim wear to the first Thanksgiving?
A. A har-vest.

Q. If the pilgrims from Plymouth Rock were still alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A. Being the oldest pepole on earth!

Q. What is a trip to Plymouth Rock to relive the era of the first Thanksgiving called?
A. Pilgrimage.

Classic Thanksgiving Point to Ponder: If April showers bring May flowers, do Mayflowers bring pilgrims?

Q. What is the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
A. The pirate burries his treasures, but the farmer treasures his berries.

Q. What do you call somebody who steals a poultry dish out of your oven on Thanksgiving?
A. Turkey Pot Pirate.

Q. Why should you always invite a skier to Thanksgiving dinner?
A. They're good at carving.

Q. Why did the cops arrest the turkey the day before Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause they suspected fowl play.

Q. What do selfish dinner guests call Thanksgiving?
A. Thanks-taking.

Q. Why aren't there many good Thanksgiving cranberry jokes?
A. Because they're a bit too saucy for some.

Q. Why did the cranberries turn red?
A. Because they saw the turkey dressing.

Q. Why shouldn't you criticize cranberries on Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause if you make them sad, they'll be blueberries and that's not the traditional side dish.

Q. What is the left side of a Thabksgiving pumpkin pie called?
A. The part you didn't eat!

Q. What happens when you eat too much pumpkin pie during the fall season?
A. You'll get autmn-y ache.

Q. Why do dentists like potatoes? A. Because they're so filling!

Q. What did
a sweet
potato say
to Luke

A. I yam your father.

Q. Why do potatoes make good detectives? A. Because they keep their eyes peeled!

Q. How do you describe an angy potato on Thanksgiving?
A. Boiling mad.

Q. Which side dish does Dr. Frankenstein bring to Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Monster mash potatoes.

Oops! I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them. So, now we're having squash.

Q. Why is it a tradition for actors to serve that green bean dish on Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause that's a casser-role.

Q. What do you call distrusting a turkey days before Thanksgiving?
A. A well thawed out plan.

Q. What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centpede?
A. Enough drumsticks to feed a crowd on Thanksgiving.

Teacher: What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?
Kindergarten Student: I'm thankful I'm not a turkey.

Q. Which special sweet potato dish causes people to be overly honest on Thanksgiving?
A. Candid yams.

Q. What do you call a yam that was stolen for Thanksgiving dinner?
A. A hot potato.

Q. What would Voltaire eat on Thanksgiving?
A. Candide yams.

Q. Why did the sweet potato cross the road on its way to Thanksgiving dinner?
A. 'Cause there was a fork coming up.

Q. What did the sweet potato say to the Idaho potato on the Thanksgiving table?
A. I think, therefore I yam.

Yammy Thanksgiving Day Pick-Up Line: Hey Sweetie, I only have pies for you.

Q. What did the guest say when asked if she is enjoying the Thanksgiving sweet potatoes?
A. Yes, I yam.

Q. What is the ghost of Thanksgivings passed called?
A. A poultry-geist.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer drive a steam roller through her Idaho spud field right before Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause she was growing mashed potatoes.

Q. What do you get if you cross a turkey and a banjo?
A. A musical instrument that can pluck itself.

Q. Which forecast does a turkey hope for on Thanksgiving?
A. Fowl weather.

Customer: The turkey in my Thanksgiving dinner is nothing but skin and bones.
Waiter: Sorry sir, I didn't know you wanted feathers with that.

Q. What do you say after eating way too much at the Thanksgiving table?
A. Oh my gourd! I am stuffed!

Grandmother: Would you please help me fix Thanksgiving dinner?
Clueless Granddaughter: Why? Is it broken?

Q. Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?
A. For exceeding the feed limit.

Q. What is
a skeleton's favorite
side dish?

A. Grave-y.

Q. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A. Pumpkin Pi!

Q. What
is a turkey's
favorite Thanksgiving

A. Peach

Q. Why didn't the chef invest in the gravy market after Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause there wasn't much stock in it.

Q. How can you tell when your Thanksgiving turkey is done?
A. It's got one foot in the gravy.

Q. Which Thanksgiving side dish is the deadliest?
A. Grave-y.

Q. Where did the pilgrims get thick broth for the first Thanksgiving dinner?
A. From a gravy boat.

Q. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
A. A camouflaged bird with four times as many drumsticks as a traditional Tom.

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road the day before Thanksgiving?
A. She wanted people to think she was a chicken.

Q. What do you get when you cross your Thanksgiving turkey with a ghost?
A. A poultry-geist.

Q. Why did the blonde separate the chicken from her Thanksgiving turkey in the freezer?
A. 'Cause she wanted to avoid fowl food contamination.

Q. Which side of a Thanksgiving turkey has the most dark meat?
A. The inside.

Q. Why do pumpkins like Halloween parties better than Thanksgiving get-togethers?
A. With all the boos oh Halloween, they'll get smashed. On Thanksgiving, they get baked and eaten.

Q. Why do pumpkins always travel to Thanksgiving dinner by road?
A. Air travel via Pumpkin Chunkin' is not a pratical option.

Q. When is your Thanksgiving pumpkin pie like a golf ball?
A. When it's sliced.

Q. What is an eye doctor's favorite dessert to enjoy after Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Pumpkin pie with eyes cream.

Q. What is the best thing to put in a delicious Thanksgiving pecan pie?
A. A fork.

Q. What is the best thing to sink into Thanksgiving pumpkin pie filling?
A. Your teeth.

Dumb Customer: The crust on this pumpkin pie was way too tough.
Waiter: Sir, that was the pie pan.

Q. What did the rotting jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving?
A. You're crusty!

Yes, I know you want me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I just can't stop cold turkey!

Q. What did the pumpkin pie say to the pecan pie on Thanksgiving?
A. You're Nuts!

Q. What does a math geek have for dessert on Thanksgiving?
A. Pumpkin Pi.

Q. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Good pie, everyone.

Q. What does a bowler crave on Thanksgiving?
A. A Turkey! (that's three strikes in a row)

Q. What do cannibal Teddy bears eat on Thanksgving?
A. Stuffing.

Q. What did the famous turkey say before he was roasted at a banquet?
A. Thanks for the memories.

When you buy clothes on Black Friday, always take into account how much you ate on Thursday.

Oops! Sometimes Black Friday shoppers tackle better than the home team did on Thanksgiving.

Here's hoping Black Friday doesn't turn into Black 'N Blue Saturday.

Thanksgiving Point to Ponder: Why does Black Friday start on Thursday?

You might be from Colorado if you expect snow on Easter, Mother's Day, Halloween, and Thanksgiving but not on Christmas.

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