Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. He only comes once a year, and when he does it's down a chimney!   PainfulPuns.com - Cheesy Pick Up Line, Sharp Come-Ons, Punny!

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Santa Says: It's another roof Saturday night!
Q. What's green and red and guides Santa's sleigh? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Pickle!
Q. Why doesn't Sant let the elvs cook? A. the steaks are too high!
Q. What do weirdos and Christmas have in common? A. Furitcake!

 


Christmas Pick-Up Lines & Festive Xmas Come-Ons
Unwrap naughty X-X-Xmas pick-up lines, nice North Pole come-ons, and Ho-larious chat ups.

Merry Hookups, Christmas Chat Ups, Noel Hit Ups
(Because Gifted Pick-Up Lines and Yule Log Hit Ups Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at Your Office Christmas Party!)
Warning: Ho Ho Ho with Caution! White Christmas come-ons, holiday hookups, and Santa's lap chat ups ahead.
| Cheesy Pick Up Lines | 2 | Animal Pick Up Lines | Arty Hipster Hookups | Banker Pick Up Lines |
| Bar Come Ons | Chef Chat Up Lines | Colorado Come Ons | Daily Come-Ons | Gnome Pick Ups |
| Gym Hookups | Locksmith Openers | Pirate Hookups | Police Pick Ups | 2 | Scary Chat Up Lines |
| Scientist Chat Ups | Sci-Fi Pick Up Lines | Sick Come Ons | Sports Hookups | Travel Hookups |
| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | Batman Chat Ups | The Hulk Hookups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Thespian Lines | Weed Hookups | 2 | 3 | VD Day Flirts | Winter Pick Ups | Xmas Chat Ups | 2 |

Q. What do you call a brothel at the North Pole? A. A Workshop!Q. Why does Scrooge love all the reindeer? A. Because every buck is dear to hin!Q. Where do elves go to dance? A. Christmas balls!

Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey Baby, I've got you on my Nice and Naughty List!

Christmas Hookup Line: How 'bout we make this not such a Silent Night?

Christmas Come-On: Babe, good tidings aren't the only thing I offer.

Christmas Pick Up Line: Babe, are you Christmas? 'Cause I want to Merry You!

Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey, let's both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip.

Christmas Pick Up Line: Babe, know what's missing from your RRY CHRISTMAS? It's ME!

X-X-Xmas Pick Up Line: Believe Rudolph, if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.

Winter Chat Up Line: Hey big Big Red, there's milk and cookies over at my place.

Punny Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey Baby, let's pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.

North Pole Chat Up Line: Hey elfman, I'm a rebel without a Claus.

Festive Christmas Party Hookup Line: Hey Babe, how would you like to meet Santa's little helper tonight?

Q. How do you help someone who has lost the holiday spirit? A. Nurse them back to elf!Q. Why did the Grinch go to the liqour store? A. He was looking for the holiday spirit!Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas eve? A. Because it soots him!

Refreshing Xmas Chat Up Line: Babe, just like candy canes and Christmas, you and I were mint to be together.

X-X-Xmas Come-On: Are you a Christmas present? 'Cause I want to unwrap you tonight!

Xmas Pick Up Line: Hey Girl, we need to get together before Christmas 'cause you can't spell LOVE with No L.

Xmas Eve Chat Up: Hey girl, you're hot and I'm cocoa. We were just meant to be together.

Christmas Hookup Line: Babe, is your name Jingle Bells? 'Cause you look like you'd go all the way.

North Pole Gnome Pick Up Line: Girly, I am quite the elf-a male!

Xmas Pick Up Line: Hey Baby, the Christmas stockings are hung, and so am I.

Winter Chat Up Line: My love for you is like a holiday fruitcake. Nutty, spicy, and unavoidable – no matter how hard you try.

Xmas Pick Up Line: Hey big guy, I'm wearing layers tonight. How long do you think it would take to unwrap me?

Christmas Pick Up Line: Whoa! What's a nice girl like you doing on my Naughty List tonight?

Xmas Hookup Line: Hey big guy, there's milk and cookies over at my place.

Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey girl, Santa's lap isn't the only place X-mas wishes come true.

Xmas Chat Up Line: Babe, if you leave milk and Christmas cookies out, I'll come later.

Xmas Line: Hey girl, my love for you is just like the Xmas ad season. It seems as if it will last forever...

Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? A. Claustrophobic!Q. Why did the snowman have a smile on his face? A. A snowblower was coming down the block!Q. What goes, "Oh Oh Oh?" A. Santa walking backward!

Christmas Pick Up Line for Stalkers: I already know when you've been good and where you've been bad, so let's skip the small talk.

X-X-Xmas Hookup Line: Hey there, if you jingle my bells, I promise you a white Christmas.

Xmas Pick Up Line: Babe, can I take your pic so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?

Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey girl, Santa's lap isn't the only place X-mas wishes come true.

Christmas Come On Line: Is your name Alice? 'Cause whenever I'm around you, I feel like I'm in a Winter Wonder Land.

Christmas Party Pick Up Line: Are you a snowman? 'Cause I've become frost-smitten with you.

Christmas Pick Up Line: Let's just forget about the nice and naughty lists, and focus on that To-Do list now!

Christmas Pick Up Line: If I dress up as Santa, will you be my Ho?

Holiday Chat Up Line: Do you have a boyfriend? 'Cause I Kwanza be yo beau.

Q. What did the sea say to Santa Claus? A. Nothing, it just waved!Q. What could happen if you use the fireplace on Christmas eve? A. You Might Crisp Cringle!Q. What does Santa bring naughty children for Christmas? A. A Package of batteries with a note saying, "Toy Not Included!"

Aye-See Cold Pirate Pick Up Line: Hey Baby, doth ye want to see my snowballs?

Xmas Party Pick Up Line: Babe, Is your name Noel? 'Cause I want to merry you.

Xmas Eve Hookup Line: Hey girl, wanna come over for some nog and see my yule log?

Christmas Pick Up Line: Wow, now I know the the reason Santa came up with his Naughty List.

Xmas Chat Up Line: Bae, yo so fine that you make that ugly Christmas sweater look good.

Festive Christmas Come-On: Hey babe, wanna get Bob-sleighed tonight?

Christmas Come-On Line: Baby, do you need a tree topper? 'Cause I've been told I'm a star on top.

Holiday Pick Up Line: Are you a menorah? 'Cause you light up my realm.

Xmas Chat Up: Hey girl, if you were a tree, you'd be an evergreen 'cause I bet you you great all year long.

| Festive Christmas Jokes | Christmas Animal Jokes | Xmas Music Jokes | Winter Humor |
| Corny Pick-Up Lines | Cheesy Pick Up Lines | 2 | Animal Pick Up Lines | Arty Hipster Hookups |
| Banker Lines | Bar Come Ons | Chef Chat Ups | Colorado Come Ons | Daily Hits | Gnome Flirts |
| Gym Hookups | Locksmith Openers | Music Pick Up Lines | Pirate Hookups | Police Pick Ups | 2 |
| Scary Lines | Scientist Flirts | Sci-Fi Pick Ups | Sick Come Ons | Sports Lines | Travel Hookups |
| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | Batman Chat Ups | The Hulk Hookups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Thespian Lines | Weed Hookups | 2 | 3 | VD Day Come Ons | Winter Picks | Xmas Chat Ups | 2 |
| Dating Jokes, Hookups | Steady Relationship Jokes | Lover Jokes, Love Puns | Sex Bot Jokes |
| Marriage Jokes, Engaging Wedding Humor | Divorce Jokes | Breakup Jokes, Dateless Puns |
| Guy Jokes, Man Humor | Lady Jokes, Woman Puns | Family Humor, Mom Puns, and Dad Jokes |


PainfulPuns Home
You've merry-ed this far, so here's even more festive humor, naughty jokes,
nice laughs and gifted painful puns that'll pick up your package
:

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