Valentine's Day Sucks! That's What She Said!   PainfulPuns.com - Cheesy Pick Up Line, Sharp Come-Ons, Punny!

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Q. Why did a guy have his girlfriend arrested on Valentine's Day? A. She stole his heart!
Q. What happened when a guy fell in love with his garden? A. It made him wed his plants!
Q. What did one watermelon say to another on Valentine's Day? A. You're on in a melon!
Q. What does a locksmith say to his love on Valentine's Day? A. You hold the key to my heart!
Q. What does a bolcano say to another volcano on Valentine's Day? A. I Lava You!
Q. What did Frankenstein say to his date on Valentine's Day? A. Be my Valenstein!

 


Valentine's Day Pick-Up Lines & VD Day Come-Ons
Pick Up a sweet lover with sugary hookups, Valentine's Day dating jokes, and lovely chat ups.

Love Hookups, Valentine Chat Ups, Lover Flirts
(Because Desperate Valentine's Day Pick-Up Lines Could Never Be TOO Mainstream on February 14th!)
Warning: Pick Up a VD Day Date with Caution! Horny hit ups, loverly come-ons, and Cupid chat ups ahead.
| Cheesy Pick Up Lines | 2 | Animal Pick Up Lines | Arty Hipster Hookups | Banker Pick Up Lines |
| Bar Come Ons | Chef Chat Up Lines | Colorado Come Ons | Daily Come-Ons | Gnome Pick Ups |
| Gym Hookups | Locksmith Openers | Pirate Hookups | Police Pick Ups | 2 | Scary Chat Up Lines |
| Scientist Chat Ups | Sci-Fi Pick Up Lines | Sick Come Ons | Sports Hookups | Travel Hookups |
| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | Batman Chat Ups | The Hulk Hookups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Thespian Lines | Weed Hookups | 2 | 3 | VD Day Flirts | Winter Pick Ups | Xmas Chat Ups | 2 |

Q. What is a vampire's lover called? A. His Ghoul Friend!Q. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? A. She didn't suit his taste!Q. What did cavemen give their mates on Valentine's Day? A. Uggs and Kisses!

Worst Valentine's Day Pick Up Line Ever: Wanna go on a ate and be my alentine? Don't worry, I'll give you the VD later.

Late Night Valentine's Day Come-On Line: Dude, I look like trash tonight, so why don't you take me out?

VD Day Pick Up Line: Hi, remember me? No? Oh yeah, we've only met in my dreams.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Babe, what'll it be: coffee, tea, or Love Potion No. 9?

VD Day Chat Up Line: Hey girl, Cupid called. He wants his heart back.

Valentine's Day Pick Down Line: Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be alone than be with you.

Valentine's Day Chat Up Line: Babe, you must be Campbell's Soup, 'cause you're mm mm good.

Valentine's Day Hookup Line: Hi Babe, do you like cats? 'Cause I'd like you to take meow-t tonight.

Zombie Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hey Brainy, I'd love you even if you were so ugly that everybody died.

Caveman Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: I might not be Fred Flinstone, but I can make your Bedrock.

VD Day Pick Up Line: Baby, you are so attractive that even my zipper is falling for you.

Cheesy VD Day Chat Up Line: Babe, if you were the words on this Valentine, you'd be the fine print.

Abstract Valentine's Day Chat Up Line: Hi, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? ... Enough to break the ice.

Q. What did the guy with the broken leg say to his nurse on Valentine's Day? A. I've got a crutch on you!Q. What does a French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day? A. A hug and a quiche!Q. Why does a chef give his lady pastry on Valentine's Day? A. He cannoli love her!

VD Day Pick Up Line: Babe, do you know what this shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.

Valentine's Day Come-On: Excuse me, are you wearing a space suit? 'Cause that butt is out of this world!

VD Day Hookup Line: Bae, if you were my big toe, I'd bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.

Reverse Psychology Valentine's Day Come On: Hey girl, you can go out with me tonight, or stay home and cry in your tub of ice cream.

Valentine's Day Chat Up Line: Hey girl, I didn't get you chocolates today because you already have a sweet box.

Q. What did the chef say to the hot chick on VD Day?
A. You know what's on tonight's menu? ME-N-U.

Q. What did the java junkie say to his honey on Valentine's Day?
A. Mere words cannot espresso what you mean to me.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Babe, you just dropped something – my jaw!

VD Day Pick Up Line: Babe, I'm going to give you a kiss. If you don't like it, you can just return it.

Valentine's Day Come-On: Babe, you are so sweet, you could put Hershey's out of business.

Valentine's Day Chat Up Line: The only sweet thing I want this VD Day is a cutie pie like you.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hey girl, you are sweeter than a box of chocolates and hotter than red heart candies.

Q. What did the fungi say to his love on Valentine's Day? A. There's o mushroom in my heart for you!Q. Why was the vampire so unlucky in love? A. He always loved in vein!Big Ape Says: Whoever hamed it necking is a poor judeg of anatomy. Happy Valentine's Day!

Magical Valentine's Day Come-On: Hey, let's flip a coin. Heads, I'm yours. Tails, you're mine.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hey there, my feet are cold 'cause you just knocked my socks off.

Valentine's Day Chat Up Line: Whoa! Have you been eating magnets? 'Cause I'm so attracted to you.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hey girl, they can't fit how I feel for you on a VD Day conversation heart.

Creepy Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Babe, I don't need Twitter 'cause I'm already following you.

VD Day Point to Ponder: If Love is blind, why is lingerie so hot?

Q. What did the Vampire prostitute say to her date on Valentine's Day?
A. You suck less than the others.

Poetic Valentine's Day Chat Up Line: Bae, be mine, 'cause yo so fine.

Valentine's Day Hookup Line: Hey Baby, let's make like fabric softener and Snuggle.

Q. Why did the confirmed bachelor wear a mask on Valentine's Day?
A. He heard love was in the air.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hey big guy, is there a cherub in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hey Babe, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I saunter by again?

Roses are red, violets are blue, if he's usy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you!Q. What did the pickle say to another on Valentie's Day? A. You mean a great dill to me!What is the difference between a calendar and you? A. The calendar has a date on Valentine's Day!

Anti Valentine's Day Poem: I'm not yours, you're not mine, so would you be my Anti Valentine?

Valentine's Day Pick Down Line: Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be alone than be with you.

Gym Valentine's Day Chat Up Line: Bro, if you were a rooster, you'd be im-pec-able.

Funnier Than Hell VD Day Come-On: Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the answer to all my prayers.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hey girl, did it hurt when you got hit by Cupid's arrow?

February 14 Day Pick Up Line: Hey bae, the only sweet thing I want on Valentine's Day is you.

Valentine's Day Pick Down Line: I won't be giving you my heart today, but there's another organ you may be interested in.

Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine's Day?
A. I'm very attracted to you!

Q. What did the bewitching webmaster say to her guy on Valentine's Day?
A. Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, this is a HEX just for you.

VD Hookup Line: Hey babe, could you please pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my back? 'Cause some kid with wings just shot me.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line in the Lab: BaBe, are you made of carbon? 'Cause I'd sure like to date you.

Valentine's Day Come-On: Hey girl, I'm sorry I didn't get you a box of chocolate, but if you're craving something sweet I am here for you.

Hairy Funny Anti Valentine's Day Thought of the Day: Screw you Cupid, I have cats!

Valentine's Day Dis: I kissed my prince and he turned into a frog.

Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hey babe, I'll be your ALENTINE for now, and you can give me your V after dinner.

Poetic Valentine's Day Chat Up Line: Hey girl, once you've gone Cupid, the rest are all stupid.

Funny As Hell Valentine's Day Pick Up Line: Hello, are you religious? 'Cause you're the answer to all my prayers.

| Valentine's Day Jokes and Lovely Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| Corny Pick-Up Lines | Cheesy Pick Up Lines | 2 | Animal Pick Up Lines | Arty Hipster Hookups |
| Banker Lines | Bar Come Ons | Chef Chat Ups | Colorado Come Ons | Daily Hits | Gnome Flirts |
| Gym Hookups | Locksmith Openers | Music Pick Up Lines | Pirate Hookups | Police Pick Ups | 2 |
| Scary Lines | Scientist Flirts | Sci-Fi Pick Ups | Sick Come Ons | Sports Lines | Travel Hookups |
| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | Batman Chat Ups | The Hulk Hookups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Thespian Lines | Weed Hookups | 2 | 3 | VD Day Come Ons | Winter Picks | Xmas Chat Ups | 2 |
| Dating Jokes, Hookups | Steady Relationship Jokes | Lover Jokes, Love Puns | Sex Bot Jokes |
| Marriage Jokes, Engaging Wedding Humor | Divorce Jokes | Breakup Jokes, Dateless Puns |
| Guy Jokes, Man Humor | Lady Jokes, Woman Puns | Family Humor, Mom Puns, and Dad Jokes |


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