Valentine's Day Sucks! That's What She Said!   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A. The calendar has a date on Valentine's Day!
Q. What is a vampire's favorite pop love song? A. Why do I ignore the girl necks door.

 


VD Day Jokes, Valentine's Day Puns, Love Humor
Pick Up on VD Day humor, contagious love laughs, woo-ly funny puns and lovesick jokes.

Funny Valentine's Day Jokes and VD Pick Up Lines
(Because Well-Loved Jokes and Beloved Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream on Valentine's Day!)
Warning: Fall in Love at Your Own Risk! Wannabe-loved humor, hearty luv jokes, and lovelorn puns ahead.
| Valentine's Day Jokes and Funny Valentines | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Valentine VD Pick-Up Lines |
| Dating Jokes and Hookup Humor | Steady Relationship Jokes | Lover Jokes and Love Puns |
| Marriage Jokes, Engaging Wedding Humor | Divorce Jokes | Breakup Jokes, Dateless Puns |

| Poem Puns and Poetic Jokes | Gnome Dating Jokes | Hump Day Humor | Wine Lovers Jokes |
| Astrology Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns | Social Media Jokes |

Q. What did the French chef give his love on valentine's Day? A. A Hug and a Quiche!Big Ape Says: Whoever hamed it necking is a poor judeg of anatomy. Happy Valentine's Day!Q. What did one boat say to the other on Valentine's Day? A. Are you up for a little row-mance?

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: The only sweet thing I want this VD Day is a cutie pie like you.

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Whoa! Have you been eating magnets? 'Cause I'm so attracted to you.

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

VD Day Pick-Up Line: Bae, if you were my big toe, I'd bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.

Pirate Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: I'm looking for treasure. How about if I check out ye chest?

Q. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A. She just didn't suit his taste.

Q. What did the pencil say to paper on Valentine's Day? A. A I Dot My i On You!Q. What kind of flower should you never give on Valentine's Day? A. Cauliflower!Q. What does a thunder cloud give out on Valentine's Day? A. A box of shock-lates!

Q. Why did the guy send his lady a Valentine via Twitter?
A. Because they were Tweet-hearts.

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, do you like cats? 'Cause you're really purr-dy!

Q. What did one root vegetable say to the other on Valentine's Day?
A. You make my heart beet faster.

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Babe, are you a florist? 'Cause I want to plant your tulips and my tulips together.

Q. What did the boy candy say to the girl candy on Valentine's Day?
A. We are mint to be together.

Q. What did the charged particle say on Valentine's Day?
A. I've got my ion you.

Q. What did a farmer give his wife on Valentine's Day? A. Hogs and kisses!Q. What did the light bulb say to the swith on Valentine's Day? A. You Turn Me On!I hate Valentine's Day! And I'm not even a hermit crab!

Q. What did the sheep say to his girl on Valentine's Day?
A. Ewe aren't too baaaa-d.

Q. What did the elephant say to his lady friend on Valentine's Day?
A. I love you a ton!

Bright Blonde Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Wow, did your family invent the airplane? 'Cause you look Wright to me.

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Bae, text me, 'cause U and I B-long together.

Q. What do squirrels give each other on Valentine's Day?
A. Forget-Me-Nuts.

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Babe, you must be Campbell's Soup, 'cause you're mm mm good.

Q. What did the calculator say to a pencil on Valentine's Day? A. You can always count on me!Q. What do you call a very small Valentine? A. A VALENtiny!Q. What did chocolate syrup say to ice cream on Valentine's Day? A. I'm Sweet On You!

Q. How can you save big money on Valentine's Day?
A. Remain single.

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Hi Babe, do you like cats? 'Cause I'd like you to take meow-t tonight.

Q. What did the drone say to his lady love on Valentine's Day?
A. Honey, you are bee-utiful!

Q. Why did the egotistical blonde guy give his old girlfriend an orange on Valentine's Day?
A. Because she was lacking in Vitamin ME.

Q. What did the boy bird sing to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
A. Let Me Call You Tweet Heart.

Q. Why shouldn't you give your heart to a pastry chef on Valentine's Day?
A. Because he'll dessert you!

| Valentine's Day Jokes and Funny Valentines | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Valentine VD Pick-Up Lines |
| Dating Jokes and Hookup Humor | Steady Relationship Jokes | Lover Jokes and Love Puns |
| Marriage Jokes, Engaging Wedding Humor | Divorce Jokes | Breakup Jokes, Dateless Puns |

| Poem Puns and Poetic Jokes | Gnome Dating Jokes | Hump Day Humor | Wine Lovers Jokes |
| Astrology Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns | Social Media Jokes |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
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| New Year's Eve Jokes | Winter Humor | Winter Hookup Lines | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Ups |
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