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Hot Dog! It's Sunday!
Gnome nude swimming allowed. You've been warned!
After realizing just how much corn he had for sale, the farmer grinned from ear to ear!
You might be from Colorado if hail freaks you out so bad that you have a hard time getting a cab!

Gnirl, did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
Beer glass quips: Life and beer are veryy similar. Chill for best results!
Q. Why does lightning shock people? A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Steak Says: Happy Done Day!


Summer Jokes, June Puns, July Humor, August LOLs
Get cool with sunny heat wave puns, July 4th humor, Labor Day LOLs and summer vacation jokes.

Summertime Jokes and Hot Summer Holiday Humor
('Cause June Jokes, July Humor, and August Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If the Air Conditioner's Broken!)
Warning: Sun Screen Advised! Sizzling summer season jokes, hot weather humor, and fun in the sun puns ahead.
| Hot Summer Humor | Autumn Jokes, Fall Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes |
| Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes | Holiday Drnking Jokes |
| Seasonal Holiday Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Day of the Week LOLs | Sunday Puns | Friday Jokes| Saturday Party Puns | Daily Pick-Up Lines |

Hey Girl, is your gname "Summer?" 'Cause you're so hot!
Q. What do you call the last Tuesday of summer? A. Achoo-sDay!
Q. What is green and goes to summer camp? A Brussels Scout

Q. Why doesn't bread like hot summer weather?
A. Because it's too toasty!

Q. Which are the hottest days during the summer?
A. Sundays.

Q. What do you call a conversation with the sun on a cloudless summer day?
A. Enlightening.

Did you hear about the blonde hipster who wore a jacket in Grand Junction, Colorado during summer, before it was cool? EMTs took her to the ER due to heat exhaustion.

Q. What is the technical term for a warm, sunny summer day after two days of rain and gloom?
A. Monday...

Q. What do late summer allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
A. An aster-risk.

Q. What is the perfect summer weekend morning?
A. When the sky is blue, flowers are blooming, bees are buzzing, birds are singing and your neighbor's lawn mower is broken.

Q. How did the couple feel when their new air conditioner cost more to operate during the summer than they estimated?
A. They were cool with that.

Q. Why did the air conditioning repairman quit his job on the first day of summer?
A. The company wasn't cool enough for him.

Q. Why was the HVAC guy fired in July?
A. Management was uncool with his performance.

Q. What sport do gnomes play during the summer?
A. Little League Baseball.

Academic Point to Ponder: If they had an intensive summer program to help kids with ADHD, would they call it a concentration camp?

Q. How do you know if you're having circus weather in June?
A. The heat is in tents!

Q. How can you tell the sky isn't happy on clear summer days?
A. It's blue!

Q. Who wrote the hot new summertime best-selling book, Hippest Sunglasses Under the Sun?
A. Oak Lee and Ray Bann.

Chimp asks: How are men like coolers? A. Load thm with beer, and you can take them anywhere!
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach? A. A Pything!

Q. Where does Princess Leia go shopping for Father's Day?
A. The Darth Maul.

Q. If moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day, what is a single guy's holiday?
A. Palm Sunday.

Dad got a selfie stick for Father's Day. Turned out that he can finally hold the phone far enough away to read his text messages!

Did you hear about party for our flag?
It was a very flappy occasion.

Q. Did Betsy Ross really create the first American flag?
A. Sew the story goes…

Q. Who wrote the Flag Day book, Blinded By The Star-Spangled Banner?
A. Jose Ken Yewsee.

Q. What did the frustrated homeowner do when his air conditioner broke down twice this summer?
A. He vented his anger on the HvAC guy.

Q. What do monsters turn on during the hot summer season while preparing for fall and Halloween?
A. The scare conditioner.

Q. Where will you find the most female skinny dippers in Colorado during the summer?
A. Beaver Creek.

Q. Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of a swimming pool?
A. Because they're all wet.

Summer Blonde Duh of the Day: I could never date guys who swim in the kiddie pool, 'cause that's too shallow for me.

Q. Why did the blonde swim with the dolphins on her summer vacation?
A. It gives her a true sense of porpoise.

Q. Which summer vacation is more expensive than swimming with dolphins?
A. Swimming with sharks. That costs an arm and a leg.

Q. How do you know your swimming pool seriously needs to be cleaned?
A. Kids still pee in it, but they don't get in first! OUCH!

Q. Why aren't accountants ever invited to company pool parties?
A. Because they're required to report any shrinkage.

Q. What do you call a bunch of rock musicians in a hot tub on a steamy summer night?
A. Vegetable Soup.

Q. Why do lemons wear suntan lotion? A. Because they peel!
You might be from Colorado if you think "humid" is anything over 25%!
Q. Why did the pig quit sun bathing? A. He was bacon in the heat!

Q. How did the gardener know mid June was the time to buy a new lawn mower?
A. His old one just didn't cut it anymore.

Sizzling July Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, is your name Summer? 'Cause you really have a warm smile!

Green Gardener's June Marriage Vows: Do you, Gardener, take this Garden, to weed from this day forth?

Q. What did the aging gardener say to his wife on their June wedding anniversary?
A. Like a prune, you aren't getting better looking, but you are getting sweeter!

Q. What's the best part about being an urban gardener in early June?
A. Getting down and dirty with the hoes.

Q. What did the exhausted guy say when he gave up on mowing the grass in the sweltering July heat?
A. I fought the lawn and the lawn won!

Q. How do weather forecasters greet each other during the summer months?
A. With a heat wave!

Q. What is a vampire's least favorite city for a summer vacation?
A. Philadelphia, because it's always sunny there.

Q. What is a blue eyeball's favorite summer song about the Colorado skies?
A. You Are Eye Sunshine!

Q. What did the blonde's summer vacation postcard say?
A. The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

Q. Why did the old grower do his summer gardening in the nude?
A. Because that's cheaper than a scarecrow!

Q. Which liquid plant food is a treat for thirsty summer flowers?
A. Root beer.

Q. Which sort of mathematician adds the best during hot weather?
A. A Summer.

Q. Which kind of animal always wears UV-coated sunglasses on clear, sunny summer days?
A. A solar bear.

Q. Which angry guy absolutely will not go outside during the summer without his hat?
A. A hot head!

Steamy Summer Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, do you have a tan, or do you always look that hot?

Sizzling Summer Sunday Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Helios? 'Cause you sure have one hot body!

Did you hear about the bodybuilder who took part in the sun tanning event at the Summer Olympics? He only got the bronze.

Q. What do you call it when high winds ruin your outdoor event? A. Uninvited gusts!
Q. What kind of crackers do firement like in their soup? A. Firecreackers!
Q. What happened when a guy fell in love with his garden? A. It made him wed his plants!

Q. Which kind of news story is about how badly all the flowers have shriveled up during the prolonged July heat wave?
A. A wither report.

Summertime BBQ Tip of the Day: Never make eye contact with anybody while you're eating a hot dog.

Q. Which song goes through a gardener's head while he pulling weeds in the summer heat?
A. Thistle While You Work.

Q. What did the dandelion seed head say to razz the gardener in July?
A. Blow me!

Q. Who wrote the patriotic 4th of July book, 'Tis National Anthem?
A. Homer D. Brave.

Independence Day Point to Ponder: Did the colonists wear T-shirts to the Boston Tea Party?

Q. Why did the blonde toss fireworks into a Porta Potty on Independence Day?
A. 'Cause Americans blow shit up on the 4th of July. DUH!

Q. What is the best way to light the fuses for the 4th of July pyrotechnic displays?
A. Fire works!

Q. What happened after a guy swallowed a pack of fire crackers on the 4th of July?
A. We haven't heard the last report yet...

Q. What do you call a great drawing depicting a 4th of July celebration?
A. A Yankee Doodle Dandy!

Q. Who wrote the Independence Day book, Blinded By The Star-Spangled Banner?
A. Jose Ken Yewsee.

Q. What spoiled the big Fourth of July BBQ?
A. The mosquitoes next door dropped in for a bite.

Q. During hot, dry Colorado summer weather, how can you tell you need to turn on your sprinklers and water the landscape?
A. Fur trees are whistling for dogs!

Q. What do you call a grumpy, short-tempered gardener in July?
A. A Snap Dragon.

Gardening Groan of the Day: There is something missing from my summer flower bouquet, she said lack-a-daisy-cally.

Q. Which type of summer garden flower sounds like it was recently on the losing end of a fight?
A. The Black-Eyed Susan.

Q. Which kind of summer flowers attract beneficial insects?
A. Bee-gonias.

Q. What did the bee say to the big summer flower?
A. Hi there, Honey.

Q. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? A. She wanted to see butterfly.
Gorilla Chef Says: Preparing for the Labor Day cookout was a Lot of Work!
Steak Says: Derar Sunday, You're the grill of my dreams!

Q. How can you tell it's too hot in your urban Denver henhouse during August?
A. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Hot August Harvest Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, is your name Cayenne? 'Cause you're almost too hot to handle.

Q. How can you spot a happy motorcyclist during August?
A. You can see the bugs in his teeth.

Q. What did the pig say while on his sunny summer beach vacation?
A. I am bacon!

Q. Why did the the blonde farmer wear dark glasses all summer long?
A. Because she was growing sunflowers! Duh!

Q. Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike in late August?
A. Because it lost its pedals.

Q. How can you stop somebody from stealing food hot off your barbeque grill this summer season?
A. With a burger alarm!

Hot Dog End of the Summer Sentiment: I'm going to spend Labor Day putting my liver to work!

Labor Day Point to Ponder: Aren't all babies born on Labor Day?

Sorry our last Labor Day pun was so painful. It just doesn't work...

Labor Day Point to Ponder: Why isn't it called No-Labor Day?

On the Tuesday after Labor Day, take comfort in knowing that the pressure to have fun over the summer has finally passed.

Cheers! Here's hoping we all still have jobs when we return from Labor Day weekend.

Labor Day Pick-Up Line to Ponder: Babe, can you still work it on Labor Day?

Q. What spoiled the big Labor Day beef steak BBQ?
A. When the hornets next door buzzed by by for a bite.

Sorry our last Labor Day pun was so painful. It just doesn't work...

Sizzling Summer Humor: Brought a new grill home last night. She's a real gas and she's really hot, especially after you turn her on!

Q. What did the gay pride folks call thier flaming hot summer backyard party?

Hot Summer Pick-Up Poetry: Dear Beef, Hot coals are red, gas flames are blue, but when it comes to meat, all I want is you.

Q. What did the fired-up grill master say to the vegan at the summer cookout?
A. Sorry, I can't listen to your rantings right now, while more important things are at steak.

Q. What is a summer barbeque enthusiast's favorite song lyric?
A. My grill, talking 'bout my grill, my grill.

Q. What is great about Facebook?
A. It's just super to keep up on all the barbeques you weren't invited to over the summer.

Q. What did Summer say to Spring?
A. Help! I'm going to fall!

| Seasonal Holiday Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes | Holiday Drnking Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Valentine VD Day Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Humor |
| Spring Holidays Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Hot Summer Holiday Jokes |
| Autumn and Fall Puns | Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Winter Holiday | Christmas Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Xmas Food Jokes | Elf LOLs | Xmas Music Jokes | Xmas Chat Ups | 2 |
| Christmas Animal Jokes | New Year's Eve Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines |
| Daily Jokes | Sunday Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | Monday | 2 | 3 | Tuesday | 2 | 3 | Wednesday | 2 | 3 |
| Thursday Humor | 2 | Friday Fun Funs | 2 | 3 | 4 | Saturday LOLs | 2 | 3 | Daily Pick-Up Lines |

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You're still hot for a grin vacation, so here's even more relaxed laughter,
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| Lawn Jokes More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| BBQ Jokes | Bee Puns | Beer Laughs | Colorado Jokes | Fair Weather Humor | Fireman Jokes | Hot Dog Puns |
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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Sports Jokes | Steak Puns | Sun Jokes | Swimming Jokes | Travel Jokes | Water Recreation LOLs |

Bartender Puns, Bar HumorGarden Puns, Green GroanersSharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Painful Jokes & Groaner PunsGnome Puns Intended Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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