Q. What do you call a smelly Santa Claus? A. Farter Christmas!   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Q. What is a gnome's favorite Xmas carol? A. Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!
Q. What does Santa bring naughty children for Christmas? A. A Package of batteries with a note saying, "Toy Not Included!"


Funny Christmas Riddles, Xmas Puns, Cold Jokes
Usher in the yuletide season with noel puns, funny Xmas jokes, and merry Christmas riddles.

Xmas Jokes, Christmas Carol Puns, Holiday Humor
(Because Gifted Puns and Present Day Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream Under the Christmas Tree)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Funny Christmas riddles, toasted Xmas jokes, and merry cold puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |

Q. What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? A. Christmas Chopin!Q. What do you call a scary reindeer? A. A Cari-Boo!Q. What could happen if you use the fireplace on Christmas eve? A. You Might Crisp Cringle!

Q. What is the name of the horse in Jingle Bells?
A. Bob. (Bells on Bob's tail ring)

Q. Which Christmas carol do parents like the most?
A. Silent Night.

Q. Who delivers Christmas presents to kitty cats?
A. Santa Claws.

Q. Why did the blonde only wear one boot on Christmas eve?
She heard there was a 50% chance of snow, and she was really good at math.

Q. Why doesn't Father Christmas like getting stuck in the chimney?
A. Because he's Claus-trophobic.

Q. What do nuclear elfin engineers fear most at the North Pole?
A Meltdown.

What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare TreeQ. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? A. Crisp Cringle!Q. Where do elves go to dance? A. Christmas balls!

My mother gave me a T-shirt that says, "I'm a Nudist." Nope, I haven't worn it.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, you're an angel, so why aren't you on top of my tree?

Q. What do you call a group of chess masters bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
A. Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: If I dress up as Santa, will you be my Ho?

Q. Can you help a little one who has lost the Christmas spirit?
A. Yes, just nurse them back to elf.

Xmas Party Pick-Up Line: Babe, are you Christmas? 'Cause I want to merry you.

Q. Who is Santa's all-time favorite singer? A. Elf-is Presley!Q. What did Adam say to his wife before Xmas? A. It's Christmas, Eve!Q. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? A. They always drop their needles!

Q. Which band do gingerbread men with one leg listen to?
A. Limp Bizkit.

Q. What did the icy winter road say to the car on its way to Granny's house for Christmas?
Wanna go for a spin?

Q. Why did Santa send his immodest daughter to college in Kansas?
To keep her off the North Pole.

Q. Why do polar bears always have cold feet?
A. Because they go around brrr-footed.

Q. Why was the ornament addicted to Christmas?
A. It had been hooked on trees its whole life!

Q. What is green, covered in tinsel, and says: "ribbit, ribbit?"
A. A Mistle-toad.

Q. How did Scrooge's team win the football game? A. The ghost of Christmas Passed!Penguin Asks: Where do snowmen keep their money? A. In a snow bank!Q. What do you call a singing elf with sideburns? A. Elfis!

Q. Where do championship snowmen football teams compete?
In the Super Ball.

Q. What did the Christmas gingerbread man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet.

Q. Why do penguins detest seriously funny winter puns?
Because it's snow laughing matter!

Q. Why don't crabs celebrate Christmas?
A. Because they're shellfish!

Q. What goes Oh Oh Oh?
A. Santa walking backwards.

Q. What could happen if you sit in the snow too long on Christmas eve?
A. You might get polaroids, and your cell battery might crap out, so you won't even get a pic to share on social media.

| Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Xmas Food |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf Puns | Christmas Animals | 2 | 3 | Reindeer Puns | Skiing Jokes |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Jokes | Colorado Weather Humor |
| Winter Holidays | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Hookup Lines |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes |
| Summer Holiday Jokes | Fall Puns | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday | Wednesday Puns | Thursday Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday LOLs |

PainfulPuns Home
You've toasted the season, so here's even more ho ho ho humor,
jingling jokes, cold laughs, and festive painful puns yule really enjoy

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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