Q. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? A. Tinsel-itis!   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Q. What happened to the guy who stole an Advent calendar? A. He got 25 days!
Q. What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? A. Christmas Chopping!

 


Naughty Xmas Puns and Nice Christmas Jokes
Cross yuletide yucks, killer Xmas jokes, and puns that'll sleigh you off your holiday list!

Santa Claus Jokes, Holiday Humor, St. Nick Puns
(Because Feliz Naughty Dog Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream While Santa is Still Stuck in Your Chimney!)
Warning: Ho Ho Ho at Your Own Risk! Naughty Xmas humor, nice noel jokes, and yule log puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Humor | 2 | Colorado Weather Puns |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |

Q. What's the difference between Santa Claus and a knight? A. One slays the dragon and the other drags the sleigh!Big Ape Asks: What does Santa sing when he goes down the chimney? A. Chestnuts Roating on an Open Fire!Q. What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A. A Rebel Without a Claus!

Q. What do you call an incomplete sentence relating to the Christmas holiday?
A. A Santa Clause.

Q. What does a sheep that doesn't like Christmas say?
A. Baaaa Humbug!

Q. What do you call somebody who is afraid of being confined to a room with Santa?
A. Claustrophobic.

Q. Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. Why did Santa visit a strip club to get in the holiday spirit?
A. Because of all the Ho Ho Hos!

Q. What do you call a bad puppy at Christmas time?
A. Feliz Naughty Dog!

Q. What do you call a broke Santa? A. Saint Nickel-Less!Q. What does a pirate Santa say? A. Row Row Row!Q. What is a gnome's favorite Xmas carol? A. Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!

Q. Why did Santa Claus have to go to his doctor?
A. Due to bad elf.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Babe, good tidings aren't the only thing I offer.

Q. What do you get if you cross St. Nick with a dectective?
A. Santa Clues.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Wow, now I know the the reason Santa came up with his Naughty List.

Q. How can you tell your neighbors don't celebrate Christmas?
A. The lights are on, but nobody's gnome!

Q. What do some lawn ornaments do over winter break?
A. They go gnome for the holidays.

Q. What do elves eat for breakfast? A. Frosted Flakes!If you get a gift basket from a psychiatrist, it'll probably be shrink wrapped.Q. How does Santa get his reindeer to fly? A. He uses red bull because it gives you wings!

Q. What is it called when you go out to buy a piano for the holidays?
A. Christmas Chopin.

North Pole Gnome Pick-Up Line: Girly, I am quite the elf-a male!

Q. Why did Santa's little helper need therapy?
A. Because he had low elf esteem.

Q. Why does Santa have a standing appointment with his shrink every December 26?
A. He's tired of all that sitting in his sleigh.

Q. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A. Rude-olph.

Q. Why don't baby sea turtles like Christmas?
A. They're afraid of the Yuletide season.

Q. What do snowment eat for breakfast? A. Frosted Flakes!Q. Why was the ornament addicted to Christmas? A. He was hooked on trees his whole life!Q. What does a snowman eat? A. Icebergs with Chili Sauce!

Cold Weather Pick-Up Line: I didn't know I was a snowman, but you're so hot my heart just melted.

Q. What do you get if you cross an NYC snowman, a really bad pun, and a laughing Santa?
A. Frostbitten HOs.

Q. Why is it so cold at the Returns counter the day after Christmas?
A. Because it's at the end of Decembrrr.

Q. Which of Santa's little helpers has side burns and sings?
A. Elfis.

Winter Pick-Up Line: Bae, if you think the snowfall total was impressive, wait 'til you see how many inches I can add to it.

Q. What falls on Christmas, but never hurts itself?
A. Snow.

| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Jokes | 2 | Colorado Weather Puns |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes |
| 420 Jokes | Summer Holiday Jokes | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday | Wednesday Puns | Thursday Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday LOLs |

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You're still in the yuletide groove, so here's even more festive humor,
naughty jokes, nice grins and no-L Painfu Puns to cross off your holiday list
:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Air Travel Jokes | Beer Jokes | Bigfoot Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cookie Jokes | Drunken Puns |
| Fart Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Football Jokes | Hipster Humor | Money Jokes | Monster Jokes | Music Jokes |
|
Pizza Puns | Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sheepish Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Vacation Puns |

Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor Edible Puns, Fun with Food Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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