Q. What vaccination does Santa get before Christmas eve? A. Shingles!   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Q. What's the difference between the Xmas aphabet and teh regular alphabet? A. Christmas alphabet has Noel!
Q. What kind of bike does Santa Claus drive? A. Holly Davidson!


Santa Jokes, Funny Christmas Puns, Icy Laughs
Lap up funny Santa Claus jokes, frosty holiday humor, and naughty North Pole puns.

Christmas Jokes, Santa Puns, Cold Xmas Humor
(Because Funny Christmas Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream on the Long Road Trip to Grandma's House!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Ho Ho Ho humor, Xmas laughs, funny Christmas jokes and noel puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |

Q. What do you call a Christmas parody song that isn't funny? A. The First No-LOL!Q. Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole? A. No well, no well!Q. What goes, "Oh Oh Oh?" A. Santa walking backward!

Q. Which Christmas carol is the classic favorite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

A classic Christmas carol told me to Deck the Halls, so I did. Harold and Hugo are not at all happy.

Q. What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NO L!

Q. Why are sopranos so good at Christmas shopping?
A. They always manage to get descant prices without getting into treble.

Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
A. Claus-trophobic.

Q. Why does St. Nick like the Temptations' version of Silent Night best?
A. Because Santa Was a Rolling Stone.

Q. What do you get if you cross Saint Nick and Sherlock Holmes? A. Santa Clues!Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A. He had low elf esteem!Q. Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs? A. Santa Paws!

Q. Why can't you trust baked goods during the holidays?
It might be minced spy!

Q. Which kind of pizza do mice always order on Christmas eve?
A. Cheeses Crust.

Q. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
A. Whatever. He can't hear you anyway!

Q. What did the blonde say to her date when she looked out the window on Christmas Eve?
A. It looks like rein, dear.

Q. What do you call a bad puppy on Christmas?
A. Feliz Naughty Dog!

Q. What do hip hop artists do on Christmas?
A. They Unwrap!

Q. What do you call an incomplete Christams sentence? A. Satna Clause!Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? A. Frostbite!Q. What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A. Claus-Trophobic!

Q. Who delivers Christmas presents to good dogs?
A. Santa Paws.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer from Florida move to the North Pole?
So she'd have a chance to use the new snow plow her brother gave her for Xmas.

Christmas Wisecrack: Good parents teach their kids not to catch snowflakes with their tongues until all the birds have gone south.

Q. What is a snowman's least favorite yoga position?
A. Downward Facing Dog Poop.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa with a flock of ducks?
A. Christmas Quackers.

Christmas Party Pick-Up Line: Are you a snowman? 'Cause I've become frost-smitten with you.

What's the latest snowman gossip? I couldn't hear, so I have snow idea!Q. What do you call a thick spicy holiday beverage that's served from barrels? A. Keg Nog!Q. What do snowmen like to eat for lunch? A. Ice-berg-ers!

Q. What is the safest season for snowmen?
A. Winter, because of all the camouflage.

Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman at the North Pole with an Arctic Wolf?
A. A Brrr-Grrr.

Q. What do you get if you deep-fry department store Santas?
A. Crispy Kringles.

Winter Pick-Up Line: Babe, is this sidewalk icy? 'Cause I just fell for you.

Q. What do Christmas and weirdos have in common?
A. Fruitcake.

Q. What is a snowman's favorite Christmas snack?
Ice Krispie Treats.

| Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Xmas Food |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf Puns | Christmas Animals | 2 | 3 | Reindeer Puns | Skiing Jokes |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Jokes | Colorado Weather Humor |
| Winter Holidays | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Hookup Lines |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes |
| Summer Holiday Jokes | Fall Puns | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday | Wednesday Puns | Thursday Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday LOLs |

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You've traveled this far, so here's even more fair weather cheer, icy humor,
brrr-y funny jokes and naughty painful puns to make your holiday

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