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If an athlete gets athlet's foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistle Toe!
Q. What is the most competitive season? A. Win-ter!

 


Short Christmas Jokes, Santa Puns, Elf Humor
Celebrate the season with funny Xmas riddles, puzzling puns, and festive Christmas jokes.

Xmas Riddles, North Pole Puns, Holiday Jokes
(Because Cheap Christmas Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream While Doing Your Holiday Shopping!)
Warning: Jingle at Your Own Risk! Holiday humor, funny Christmas jokes, and Xmas riddles ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Humor | 2 | Colorado Weather Puns |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |

Q. Where do Santa and his reindeer get hot chocolate whle on a sky flight? A. Star-Bucks!Q. Which body part do you only see at Christmas time? A. The Mistletoe!Q. Why doesn't Sant let the elvs cook? A. the steaks are too high!

Q. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A. He looks at his calen-deer.

Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman, a laughing hyena, and a painful pun?
A. Frostbite that really, really hurts! Ouch!

Q. Which vaccination does Santa always get before Christmas Eve?
A. Shingles.

Xmas Pick-Up Line: Bae, yo so fine that you make that ugly Christmas sweater look good.

Q. Which nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish!

Q. What is it so easy for elves to cook up Christmas cookies in the kitchen?
A. Because they know where every kitchen u-tinsel is.

Q. Why can't Christmas trees stand alone? A. They don't have legs!Q. What do you call a bankrupt Santa Claus? A. Saint Nickel-Less!Q. How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb? A. Eight. One to crew in the bulb, and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Q. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
A. They keep losing their needles.

Q. What did Santa phone his shrink when he got to the South Pole?
A. He was having a Bi-Polar moment.

Q. Why doesn't Santa have any kids of his own?
A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down a chimney.

Q. What did the elves call Santa after he ate a brrr-ito and a chilly dog for lunch?
A. Farter Christmas.

Q. How does Santa make his reindeer fly?
A. He gives them Red Bull, because Red Bull gives you wings.

Q. Why did Santa visit a strip club?
A. Because all the Ho Ho Hos got him in the holiday spirit! (Santa doesn't need Red Bull!)

Q. What is a child's favorite Christmas king? A. A Stocking!Q. How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? A. By Icicle!Q. Did the smoker get everything he wanted for Xmas? A. Clothes, but no cigar!

Q. What did the big furry hat say to the warm wooly scarf?
A. You hang around, and I'll go on a head...

Xmas Pick-Up Line: Baby, your Christmas sock isn't the only thing I'll be stuffing tonight.

Q. What is the first thing little elves learn at school?
A. The elf-a-bet.

Q. Why don't penguins fly?
A. They're too short to get a pilot's license.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bell and a skunk?
A. Jingle Smells!

Xmas Pick-Up Line: Oh gosh Girl, let me help you out of that ugly Christmas sweater.

Q. Which Christmas carol is popular in the desert? A. Camel Ye Faithful!Q. What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs? A. Anything you want. He can't hear you!Q. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? A. H-ornaments!

Q. Why is Santa's sack so full?
A. Because he only comes once a year.

Q. What is the most commonly served beverage at the North Pole?
A.
Iced Tea.

Q. What did the naughty soccer announcer get from Santa Claus?
A. COOOOOOOOAAAAALLLL!

Q. Why didn't the North Pole tourist get any sleep last night?
A. Because he accidentally plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and he kept popping out of bed all night.

Q. What do sheep say during the holiday season?
A. We wish ewe a very Merry Christmas.

Q. How do Santa's reindeer make their beds?
A. With snow blankets and sheets of ice!

| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Jokes | 2 | Colorado Weather Puns |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes |
| 420 Jokes | Summer Holiday Jokes | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday | Wednesday Puns | Thursday Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday LOLs |

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You've jingled all this way, so here's even more holiday humor, jolly laughs,
tree-mendous jokes and puzzling painful puns to make your day merry
:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Air Travel Jokes | Beer Jokes | Bigfoot Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cookie Jokes | Drunken Puns |
| Fart Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Football Jokes | Hipster Humor | Money Jokes | Monster Jokes | Music Jokes |
|
Pizza Puns | Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sheepish Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Vacation Puns |

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