|
Short
Christmas Jokes, Santa Puns, Elf Humor
Celebrate
the season with funny Xmas riddles, puzzling puns, and festive Christmas
jokes.
Xmas Riddles, North Pole Puns, Holiday Jokes
(Because Cheap Christmas Jokes
Could Never Be TOO Mainstream While Doing Your
Holiday Shopping!) |
Warning:
Jingle at Your Own Risk! Holiday humor, funny Christmas jokes, and
Xmas riddles ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas
Humor | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5 | 6
| 7 | 8 | 9
| 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2
| Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas
Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns
|
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas
Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas
Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes
|
| Snow Jokes | Snowman
Jokes | Winter Humor | 2
| 3 | Winter
Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes
|
Q.
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A. He looks at his calen-deer.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a snowman, a laughing hyena,
and a painful pun?
A. Frostbite that really, really hurts! Ouch! |
Q.
Which vaccination does Santa always get before Christmas
Eve?
A. Shingles.
Xmas
Pick-Up Line: Bae, yo so
fine that you make that ugly Christmas sweater look good.
|
Q.
Which nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish!
Q.
What is it so easy for elves to cook up Christmas cookies
in the kitchen?
A. Because they know where every kitchen u-tinsel
is. |
Q. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
A. They keep losing their needles.
Q.
What did Santa phone his shrink when he got to the South
Pole?
A. He was having a Bi-Polar moment. |
Q.
Why doesn't Santa have any kids of his own?
A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does,
it's down a chimney.
Q.
What did the elves call Santa after he ate a brrr-ito and
a chilly dog for lunch?
A. Farter Christmas.
|
Q.
How does Santa make his reindeer fly?
A. He gives them Red Bull, because Red Bull gives you wings.
Q.
Why did Santa visit a strip club?
A. Because all the Ho Ho Hos got him in the holiday spirit!
(Santa doesn't need Red Bull!) |
Q.
What did the big furry hat say to the warm wooly scarf?
A. You hang around, and I'll go on a head...
Xmas
Pick-Up Line: Baby, your
Christmas sock isn't the only thing I'll be stuffing tonight.
|
Q.
What is the first thing little elves learn at school?
A. The elf-a-bet.
Q.
Why don't penguins fly?
A. They're too short to get a pilot's license.
|
Q.
What do you get if you cross a bell and a skunk?
A. Jingle Smells!
Xmas
Pick-Up Line: Oh gosh Girl,
let me help you out of that ugly Christmas sweater. |
Q.
Why is Santa's sack so full?
A. Because he only comes once a year.
Q.
What is the most commonly served beverage at the North Pole?
A. Iced
Tea. |
Q.
What did the naughty soccer announcer get from Santa Claus?
A. COOOOOOOOAAAAALLLL!
Q.
Why didn't the North Pole tourist get any sleep last night?
A. Because he accidentally plugged his electric blanket
into the toaster and he kept popping out of bed all night.
|
Q.
What do sheep say during the holiday season?
A. We wish ewe a very Merry Christmas.
Q.
How do Santa's reindeer make their beds?
A. With snow blankets and sheets of ice! |
|
Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns
| 2 | 3 | 4
| 5 | 6 | 7
| 8 | 9 | 10
| 11 | Xmas
Food |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2
| Elf Puns | Christmas
Animals | 2 | 3
| Reindeer Puns | Skiing
Jokes |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas
Come-Ons | 2 | Weather
Jokes | Colorado Weather Humor
|
| Winter Holidays | Winter
Humor | 2 | 3
| Snow Jokes | Snowman
Jokes | Winter Hookup Lines
|
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome
Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes |
VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's
Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes
|
| Summer Holiday Jokes | Fall
Puns | Halloween Jokes |
Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons
|
| Thanksgiving Jokes |
Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig
Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party
Animal Puns | Daily Jokes |
Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday
Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday
| Wednesday Puns | Thursday
Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday
LOLs |
You've
jingled all this way, so here's
even more holiday humor, jolly
laughs,
tree-mendous jokes and puzzling
painful puns to make your day merry:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Air Travel Jokes | Beer
Jokes | Bigfoot Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cookie
Jokes | Drunken Puns |
| Fart Jokes | Fashion
Jokes | Football Jokes
| Hipster Humor | Money
Jokes | Monster Jokes | Music
Jokes |
| Pizza Puns | Religion
Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sheepish
Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero
Jokes | Vacation Puns |
Thanks
for stopping by and see you again soon!
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