Q. Why did the Grinch go to the liqour store? A. He was looking for the holiday spirit!   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas eve? A. Because it soots him!
Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A. He had low elf esteem!


Funny Christmas Jokes, Elf Puns, Santa Humor
Elf yourself to funny Xmas jokes, festive holiday laughs, Ho Ho Ho humor and Polar puns.

Santa Claus Jokes, North Pole Puns, Holiday HOs
(Because the Ho Ho Ho Holiday Spirit and Ghost of Christmas Presents Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Cold iceberg jokes, dry winter humor, and no well puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |

Q. What kind of cars do Santa's elves drive? A. Toy-otas!Q. Where does Santa keep his money? A. In a snow bank!Q. What do lawn ornaments do over winter break? A. Go gnome for the holidays!

Q. Which kind of bike does Santa ride, weather permitting?
A. Holly Davidson.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, you wanna meet Santa's little helper tonight?

Q. What kind of money do they use at the North Pole?
A. Cold, hard cash!

Christmas Pick-Up Line for Stalkers: I already know when you've been good and where you've been bad, so let's skip the small talk.

Q. Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with?
A. The Icebergs.

North Pole Pick-Up Line: Hey elfman, I'm a rebel without a Claus.

Q. Where is Santa's most happy place to deliever presents? A. Idaho-Ho-Ho!Q. How do you help someone who has lost the holiday spirit? A. Nurse them back to elf!Q. Who delivers Christmas presents to cats? A. Santa Claws!

Q. What is a disease contracted over the Christmas holiday?
A. Excemas.

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has the worst manners?
A. Rude-Alf.

Q. Where do elves go to dance?
A. Christmas balls.

Q. What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus at their picnic?
A. It's going to reindeer...

Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A. Sandy Claws.

Q. How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
A. Fleece Navidad!

Q. What did the sea say to Santa Claus? A. Nothing, it just waved!Q. What do snowmen wear on their heads? A. Ice Caps!If an athlete gets athlet's foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistle Toe!

Aye-See Cold Pirate Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, doth ye want to see my snowballs?

Q. What did the guy with no hands get for Christmas?
A. Dunno. He hasn't opened his gifts.

Christmas Party Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, do you live at the North Pole? 'Cause you're pretty cool.

Q. Why is everbody always so thirsty at the North Pole?
A. No Well, No Well.

Q. What does Santa bring naughty boys on Christmas?
A. A pack of batteries and a note saying, "Toy Not Included."

Sick Christmas Party Pick-Up Line: Babe, do I have the flu, or are you giving me the chills?

Q. What is the most competitive season? A. Win-ter!Q. What's green and red and guides Santa's sleigh? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Pickle!Q. Why did Frosy the Snowman want a divorce? A. Because he thought his wife was a flake!

Q. How did Scrooge win the big football game?
A. The ghost of Christmas passed!

Q. Why do snowmen spit at painful North Pole puns?
Because Global Warming is snow laughing matter!

Q. What is the best thing to put into a Christmas fruit cake?
A. Anything but your fist because broken fingers hurt worse than eating fruit cake.

Q. What does Santa sing while he's going down the chimney?
A. Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire!!

Q. Why did a blonde leave the house on December 24?
A. She heard Christmas was right around the corner.

Q. What does Mrs. Claus use on her face during the long winter season?
A. Cold Cream.

| Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Xmas Food |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf Puns | Christmas Animals | 2 | 3 | Reindeer Puns | Skiing Jokes |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Jokes | Colorado Weather Humor |
| Winter Holidays | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Hookup Lines |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes |
| Summer Holiday Jokes | Fall Puns | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday | Wednesday Puns | Thursday Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday LOLs |

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You're still in the present, so here's more festive cheer, seasonal humor,
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