Q. How do weather forecasters greet each other?
A. With a heat wave!

Q. What do you call a conversation with the sun on a cloudless summer day?
A. Enlightening.

Q. What is a vampire's least favorite city?
A. Philadelphia, because it's always sunny there.

Q. Which sort of mathematician adds the best during hot weather?
A. A Summer.

Q. What is the opposite of a cold back?
A. A warm front.

Q. Which kind of animal always wears UV-coated sunglasses on clear, sunny days?
A. A solar bear.

Q. How can you tell it's too hot in your urban Denver henhouse during August?
A. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Q. How did the rainbow know it was lost?
A. It was a clear day.

Did you hear about the bodybuilder who took part in the sun tanning event at the Olympics? He only got the bronze.

Q. During hot, dry Colorado summer weather, how can you tell you need to turn on your sprinklers and water the landscape?
A. Fur trees are whistling for dogs!

Weather Forecast Point to Ponder: Why is a rainy Friday so much better than a sunny Monday?

Q. Why do electrical linemen always use sun block?
A. It's a solar insulator.

Q. How can you tell the sky isn't happy on clear days?
A. It's blue!

Q. What is a blue eyeball's favorite weather song about the Colorado skies?
A. You Are Eye Sunshine!

Q. Why did the the blonde farmer wear dark glasses?
A. Because she was growing sunflowers! Duh!

Q. What did the blonde's postcard say?
A. The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

Q. How do high and low pressure systems greet each other?
A. A high says, "HI," and the low says, "HelLOW."

Q. What is the theme song of solar panels all over the planet?
A. Here Comes the Sun.

Q. What is the technical term for a warm, sunny day after two days of rain and gloom?
A. Monday...

Q. Would the weather be clear for the balloon's morning flight?
A. It was up in the air.

Q. What did the pig say while on his sunny beach vacation?
A. I am bacon!

Q. What do raindrops get if they go to an event that is canceled due to weather?
A. A sun check.

Q. What do you say when the fog finally lifts?
A. You won't be mist.

Corrective Lens Laugh of the Day: My new contacts have UV protection, and that's great because I really hated putting sunscreen on my eyes.

Q. Which kind of news story is about how badly all the flowers have shriveled up during the heat wave?
A. A wither report.

Q. What kind of weather do bar flies like best?
A. The Highs.

Q. Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
A. Duh, because the sun is out!

Q. What is today's Colorado Front Range weather forecast?
A. Chili today, hot tamale.

Q. What is brown and hairy, and wears sunglasses at the beach?
A. A coconut on vacation!

Did you hear about the blonde hipster who wore a jacket in Grand Junction, Colorado during summer, before it was cool? EMTs took her to the ER due to heat exhaustion.

Q. What is the meteorological term for when high pressure goes on vacation?
A. Hiatus.

Q. Which TV weather forecast feature do Colorado potheads like best?
A. The Highs.

Q. Who wrote the hot new summertime book, Hippest Sunglasses Under the Sun?
A. Oak Lee and Ray Bann.

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