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Farm
Pick-Up Lines, Horse Hookups, Cow Come-Ons
Flirt
down with cucumber come-ons, pig-up puns, rooster pick-up
lines and veggie chat up jokes.
Farmer Chat Ups and Farm Animal Hookup Lines
(Because Bull Come-On Jokes
and Corny Pick-Up Lines Couldn'tBe TOO Mainstream
for Growing Love on the Farm!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Chicken chat up jokes, horse hookup humor,
and croppy farm pick up puns ahead.
| Farm Pick-Up Lines | Fun
On the Farm Humor | Farm Music Jokes
| Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Farmer
Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes
| Rancher Jokes |
Cow Puns | Bull Jokes | Rooster
Puns |
| Horse Jokes | Donkey
Jokes, Ass Puns | Pig Jokes | Baad
Sheep Puns | Farm Crime Jokes
|
Q.
What do you call an equine that wears condoms?
A. Trojan Horse.
Equine
Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, are you a racehorse? 'Cause
when I ride you, you'll always finish first.
Equine
Chat Up Line: Hey there, I bet the other donkeys are jealous
'cause that's one fine ass.
Horsey
Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, aren't you tired? 'Cause
you've been galloping through my mind all evening.
Horse
Hookup Line: Hay lady, you're a fine little filly. I'm a
purebred myself, so you wanna go for a quick trot?
Racy
Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay there big fella, if I ran a race
with you, I'd let you come first every time!
Stallion
Pick-Up Line: Hey Mare, I'd love to foal-fill all
of your needs tonight.
Horse
Hookup Line: Hay lady, would you like to star in my cowboy
movie? You can ride my pony all night long. |
Pick
Up a Farmer Line: Hey big fella, Is your name John Deere?
'Cause I'm totally a-tractored to ya'll.
Pick
Up a Farmer Line: Hey big fella, you are one fine piece
of acreage.
Farmer
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I'd like to harvest you during peak
season.
Pick
Up a Farmer Line: Hey big guy, if you were a tractor and
I was a plow, I'd definitely hook up with you.
Farmer
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, how'd you like to switch gears on
my tractor?
Farmer
Pick-Up Line: Hey Bess, you've got beautiful calves.
Rancher
Pick-Up Line: Hey gal, of all the beautiful faces out there,
I just can't get pastures.
Pick
Up a Farmer Line: Hey big guy, is that a phone in your pocket,
or is your rooster happy to see me?
Stallion
Rancher Come-On Line: Hey Mare, I am hung like
a horse!
|
Bull
Pick-Up Line: Cow you doin'?
Q.
What do young calves call their lifelong buddies?
A. Best Friends for Heifer!
Bull
Pick-Up Poetry: Roses are red, violets are blue, with you
in my head, this cow goes moooo.
Cow
Pick-Up Line: Hay Bessie, my love for you is as
crazy as mad cow disease.
Cow
Pick-Up Line: Hay Elsie, can I place this cowbell around
your neck? 'Cause I want to follow you forever.
Bullish
Pick-Up Line: Hey Bessie, I have a major horn on for you.
Q.
What do you call a cattle herd that's masturbating?
A. Beef Strokin' Off.
Cowboy
Come-On: Hey gal, I saw how you handled that mechanical
bull, so I want to let you know you can straddle me any
time.
Milky
Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, have you ever milked a cow before?
'Cause your gonna need a bucket for this too. |
A
man fell in love with his donkey and decided to marry her.
At the wedding, the minister said, "Well, this is refreshing.
Usually it's the woman who marries the ass."
Little
Miniature Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay there, girl.
Horse
Pick-Up Line: Hey Filly, how 'bout I be your gallant steed
and you be my knight, riding me all night long?
Colt
Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, wanna horse around?
Horse
Chat Up Line: Hay baby, how 'bout you lose that saddle and
come be my mane squeeze?
Horse
Come-On Line: Hay girl, I'd like to have a stable
relationship with you!
Horse
Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, are your hooves sore? 'Cause you've
been galloping through my dreams all night long. |
Q.
Why did the tomato and the corn fall in love?
A. Tom whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
Tomato
Pick-Up Line: Are you ketchup? 'Cause I'm mustard and we
should get together on a weiner.
Q.
What kind of a girlfriend does a tater want?
A. A sweet potato.
Yammy
Thanksgiving Day Pick-Up Line: Hey Sweetie, I only have
pies for you.
Hot
Potato Pick-Up Line: Hey there Ida, are you a tater dater?
Q.
Two potatoes are standing on a street corner. How can you
tell which one is a hooker?
A. It's the one who says, "Idaho."
Spud
Pick-Up Line: Hey Ida, are you a tater? 'Cause I yam ready
to be your mash.
|
Leafy
Green Pick-Up Line: Whoa baby! It looks like heaven must
be missing an ambrosia salad.
Salad
Bar Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, if f you're the first course,
I'd like my salad undressing.
Q.
What did the sour dill pickle say to the cherry tomato?
A. Hey Sweetie, why are you blushing?
Green
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you salad? 'Cause I think I'm
falling in lovage.
Q.
Who do all the boy pickles like the most?
A. The pickle dish!
Q.
What kind of flower bouquet does a pickle send to his best
girl?
A. Dilly of the Valley.
Q.
What did the dill say to his sweet pickle?
A. Pucker up!
Farmer
Come-On: Hey girl, not to sound corny, but I think you are
a-maize-ing! |
Swine
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I never sausage a hot body.
Q.
How do pigs greet their loved ones?
A. With hogs and kisses.
Q.
What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Q.
What is the number one pig pick-up line?
A. Wanna be pen pals?
Q.
Why shouldn't you share your bed with a pig?
A. Because they hog the covers!
Sheepish
Hookup Line: Hey, ewe wanna go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch!
Ovine
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are ewe a sheep? 'Cause
your body is unbaalievable.
Baad
Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, If you were a sheep, I would clone
you.
Q.
What did one sheep say to another?
A. I love ewe!
Sheepish
Chat Up Line: Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet,
I'd put ewe and I together. |
Pick
Up a Jaak-O-Lantern Line: Hey
baby, are you a big orange gourd? 'Cause I am Peter Peter
Pumpkin Eater.
Farmer
Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, was your daddy a pumpkin? 'Cause
you are lookin' so gourdgeous.
Q.
Why did the stupid monster like dating the jack-o-lantern?
A. Because they both have empty heads.
Farmer
Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, was your daddy a pumpkin? 'Cause
you are lookin' so gourdgeous.
Pueblo,
CO Chile Pepper Grower Pick Up Line: Hola Peppy! You are
as hot as capsaicin!
Hot
Pepper Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, is your name Cayenne?
'Cause you're almost too hot to handle.
Steamy
Tip of the Day: If your wife says she wants to spice it
up in the bedromm, do NOT use hot peppers!
Colorado
Pepper Grower Hooking Up Point to Ponder: If it's chile
inside, should you turnip the heat?
|
Henhouse
Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I'll have the chicken breast, hold
the chicken.
Poultry
Pick-Up Line: Hey chickadee, I'm no rooster, but just watch
what this cock-a-do-to-you!
Paultry
Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Penny, do you eat chicken? 'Cause
you can suck my cock.
Chicken
Pick-Up Line: Hey Henny, if you were any finer, you'd be
im-peck-able.
Poultry
Pick-Up Line: Hey chick, do you raise chickens? 'Cause you
raise my cock.
Poultry
Pick-Up Line: Hey Penny, if you were a chicken, you'd be
impeccable.
Q.
How does a rooster show affection to his girlfriend?
A. He gives her a peck on the cheek.
Henhouse
Chat Up Line: Hey Henny, do you handle chickens? 'Cause
you're really good with cocks.
Poultry
Pick-Up Line: Hey Bird, how about you be my turkey? 'Cause
I can give you the stuffing you've been needing. |
Farmer
Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, those roses aren't the only thing
with a long stem.
Q.
Why did the guy break up with his watermelon vendor girlfriend?
A. Because she was always so melon-dramatic about everything!
Q.
Why did the blueberry go out with a fig?
A. It couldn't find a date.
Water
Fowl Pick-Up Line: Wanna Duck?
Q.
What do two small horny ducks say to each other?
A. Let's make a teal.
Q.
How does a rooster romance a hen?
A. He takes her to a chick flick.
Q.
Why did the rooster get a tattoo?
A. To impress old chicks twenty years from now.
|
Q.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A. Wanna grab a bite?
Q.
What did bride and groom pickles say at their wedding vows?
A. I Dill!
Q.
Where do newlywed horses stay on their honeymoon?
A. The bridle suite.
Q.
Why do pickles usually make dreadful domestic partners?
A. Because they're always so green with envy.
Q.
Why did the rooster file for divorce?
A. He was tired of being hen-pecked!
Q.
Why did the lonely bachelor feel so great after leaving
the grocery store?
A. 'Cause a hot woman there was checking him out.
|
Q.
What did the aging farmer say to his wife on Valentine's
Day?
A. Like a prune, you aren't getting better looking, but
you are getting sweeter!
Q.
Why did the sow kick the boar out of bed?
A. Because he always hogged the covers.
Q.
Why did the boar's wife run away from home?
A. She felt he was taking her for grunted.
Horsey
Pick-Up Line: Hello Mare, wanna go for a roll in the hay?
Horse
Pick-Up Line: Hay there, you must be tired, 'cause you've
been trotting through my mind all day!
Horse
Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, how would you like to join my exclusive
racing club? |
|
Pitiful Pick-Up Lines | Colorado
Come Ons | Daily Pick Ups | Cheesy
Chat Ups | Hipster Hookups
|
| Farm Pick-Up Lines | Fun
On the Farm | Farm Jokes, Farm Animal Puns
| Dairy Farm Jokes |
| Cow Puns | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | Cow
On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy
Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes
|
| Chicken Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Chicken Cross the Road | Rooster
Puns | Goose Jokes | Duck
Puns |
| Horse Jokes, Pony Puns | 2
| 3 | Donkey
Jokes, Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes
| Animal Poop Puns |
| Farm Crop Puns | Farmer
Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes
| Veggie
Growing Puns | Melon Patch |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes
| Pig Jokes | 2
| 3 | Baad
Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes
|
| Animal Pick-Up Lines | Farm
Animal Astronaut Jokes | Garden
Animal Jokes | Wild Animal Jokes
|
| Animal Music Jokes | Pet
Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Party
Animal Puns | Xmas Animal Puns
|
You've
plowed down this far, so here's
even more neigh-borly
laughter,
moo-ving humor, baad
jokes and clucked up
painful puns that'll grow on
you:
|
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Jokes | Crafty Beer Puns | Dating
App Jokes | Ear Puns |
| Heart Jokes | Manly
Jokes | Married Jokes | Mile
High Club Jokes | Pirate Jokes |
Police Puns | Psychic
Jokes |
| Rabbit Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports
Jokes | Underwear Jokes
| Valentine's Day Laughs |
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