Q. Where do pigs hook up? A. At the meet market!   PainfulPuns.com - Cheesy Pick Up Line, Sharp Come-Ons, Punny!

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Q. Why did a rooster go to KFC? A. He wanted to see a chicken strip!

Q. What do you call a cabbage with a good body? A. Head and shoulders above the rest!
Q. Why don't roosters wear pants? A. Their peckers are on their faces!

Q. Why don't melons get married? A. Because They Cantaloupe!

Q. What do you get if you cross a rooster and a telephone pole? A. A long wooden cock that wants to touch somebody!
Hey Gnirl, I Did You!


Farm Pick-Up Lines, Horse Hookups, Cow Come-Ons
Flirt down with cucumber come-ons, pig-up puns, rooster pick-up lines and veggie chat up jokes.

Farmer Chat Ups and Farm Animal Hookup Lines
(Because Bull Come-On Jokes and Corny Pick-Up Lines Couldn'tBe TOO Mainstream for Growing Love on the Farm!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Chicken chat up jokes, horse hookup humor, and croppy farm pick up puns ahead.
| Farm Pick-Up Lines | Fun On the Farm Humor | Farm Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Rancher Jokes | Cow Puns | Bull Jokes | Rooster Puns |
| Horse Jokes | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Pig Jokes | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Crime Jokes |

Q. What did one horse say to another? A. The pace is familiar, but I can't remember the mane!
Gnomes with Pot Leaves: Do You Live in a Corn Field? 'Cause I'm Stalking You
Q. Where do cows get together? A. At the meet market!

Q. What do you call an equine that wears condoms?
A. Trojan Horse.

Equine Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, are you a racehorse? 'Cause when I ride you, you'll always finish first.

Equine Chat Up Line: Hey there, I bet the other donkeys are jealous 'cause that's one fine ass.

Horsey Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, aren't you tired? 'Cause you've been galloping through my mind all evening.

Horse Hookup Line: Hay lady, you're a fine little filly. I'm a purebred myself, so you wanna go for a quick trot?

Racy Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay there big fella, if I ran a race with you, I'd let you come first every time!

Stallion Pick-Up Line: Hey Mare, I'd love to foal-fill all of your needs tonight.

Horse Hookup Line: Hay lady, would you like to star in my cowboy movie? You can ride my pony all night long.

Pick Up a Farmer Line: Hey big fella, Is your name John Deere? 'Cause I'm totally a-tractored to ya'll.

Pick Up a Farmer Line: Hey big fella, you are one fine piece of acreage.

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I'd like to harvest you during peak season.

Pick Up a Farmer Line: Hey big guy, if you were a tractor and I was a plow, I'd definitely hook up with you.

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, how'd you like to switch gears on my tractor?

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey Bess, you've got beautiful calves.

Rancher Pick-Up Line: Hey gal, of all the beautiful faces out there, I just can't get pastures.

Pick Up a Farmer Line: Hey big guy, is that a phone in your pocket, or is your rooster happy to see me?

Stallion Rancher Come-On Line: Hey Mare, I am hung like a horse!

Bull Pick-Up Line: Cow you doin'?

Q. What do young calves call their lifelong buddies?
A. Best Friends for Heifer!

Bull Pick-Up Poetry: Roses are red, violets are blue, with you in my head, this cow goes moooo.

Cow Pick-Up Line: Hay Bessie, my love for you is as crazy as mad cow disease.

Cow Pick-Up Line: Hay Elsie, can I place this cowbell around your neck? 'Cause I want to follow you forever.

Bullish Pick-Up Line: Hey Bessie, I have a major horn on for you.

Q. What do you call a cattle herd that's masturbating?
A. Beef Strokin' Off.

Cowboy Come-On: Hey gal, I saw how you handled that mechanical bull, so I want to let you know you can straddle me any time.

Milky Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, have you ever milked a cow before? 'Cause your gonna need a bucket for this too.

Q. How do you compliment a donkey? A. "Hay, nice ass!"
How did the tomato court the corn? He whispered sweet nothings in her ear.
ET Chef Asks: What pick-up line did the bacon use on the tomato? A. Lettuce get together!

A man fell in love with his donkey and decided to marry her. At the wedding, the minister said, "Well, this is refreshing. Usually it's the woman who marries the ass."

Little Miniature Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay there, girl.

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hey Filly, how 'bout I be your gallant steed and you be my knight, riding me all night long?

Colt Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, wanna horse around?

Horse Chat Up Line: Hay baby, how 'bout you lose that saddle and come be my mane squeeze?

Horse Come-On Line: Hay girl, I'd like to have a stable relationship with you!

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, are your hooves sore? 'Cause you've been galloping through my dreams all night long.

Q. Why did the tomato and the corn fall in love?
A. Tom whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

Tomato Pick-Up Line: Are you ketchup? 'Cause I'm mustard and we should get together on a weiner.

Q. What kind of a girlfriend does a tater want?
A. A sweet potato.

Yammy Thanksgiving Day Pick-Up Line: Hey Sweetie, I only have pies for you.

Hot Potato Pick-Up Line: Hey there Ida, are you a tater dater?

Q. Two potatoes are standing on a street corner. How can you tell which one is a hooker?
A. It's the one who says, "Idaho."

Spud Pick-Up Line: Hey Ida, are you a tater? 'Cause I yam ready to be your mash.

Leafy Green Pick-Up Line: Whoa baby! It looks like heaven must be missing an ambrosia salad.

Salad Bar Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, if f you're the first course, I'd like my salad undressing.

Q. What did the sour dill pickle say to the cherry tomato?
A. Hey Sweetie, why are you blushing?

Green Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you salad? 'Cause I think I'm falling in lovage.

Q. Who do all the boy pickles like the most?
A. The pickle dish!

Q. What kind of flower bouquet does a pickle send to his best girl?
A. Dilly of the Valley.

Q. What did the dill say to his sweet pickle?
A. Pucker up!

Farmer Come-On: Hey girl, not to sound corny, but I think you are a-maize-ing!

Q. What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes? A. Bacon Strips!
Q. What did a root veggie say to another on alentin's Day? A. You make my heart beet faster!
Q. How does a rooster kiss his girlfriend? A. With his pecker!

Swine Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I never sausage a hot body.

Q. How do pigs greet their loved ones?
A. With hogs and kisses.

Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!

Q. What is the number one pig pick-up line?
A. Wanna be pen pals?

Q. Why shouldn't you share your bed with a pig?
A. Because they hog the covers!

Sheepish Hookup Line: Hey, ewe wanna go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch!

Ovine Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are ewe a sheep? 'Cause your body is unbaalievable.

Baad Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, If you were a sheep, I would clone you.

Q. What did one sheep say to another?
A. I love ewe!

Sheepish Chat Up Line: Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put ewe and I together.

Pick Up a Jaak-O-Lantern Line: Hey baby, are you a big orange gourd? 'Cause I am Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, was your daddy a pumpkin? 'Cause you are lookin' so gourdgeous.

Q. Why did the stupid monster like dating the jack-o-lantern?
A. Because they both have empty heads.

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, was your daddy a pumpkin? 'Cause you are lookin' so gourdgeous.

Pueblo, CO Chile Pepper Grower Pick Up Line: Hola Peppy! You are as hot as capsaicin!

Hot Pepper Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, is your name Cayenne? 'Cause you're almost too hot to handle.

Steamy Tip of the Day: If your wife says she wants to spice it up in the bedromm, do NOT use hot peppers!

Colorado Pepper Grower Hooking Up Point to Ponder: If it's chile inside, should you turnip the heat?

Henhouse Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I'll have the chicken breast, hold the chicken.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey chickadee, I'm no rooster, but just watch what this cock-a-do-to-you!

Paultry Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Penny, do you eat chicken? 'Cause you can suck my cock.

Chicken Pick-Up Line: Hey Henny, if you were any finer, you'd be im-peck-able.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey chick, do you raise chickens? 'Cause you raise my cock.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Penny, if you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.

Q. How does a rooster show affection to his girlfriend?
A. He gives her a peck on the cheek.

Henhouse Chat Up Line: Hey Henny, do you handle chickens? 'Cause you're really good with cocks.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Bird, how about you be my turkey? 'Cause I can give you the stuffing you've been needing.

Q. What did the pickle say to another on Valentie's Day? A. You mean a great dill to me!
Q. What is a honeymoon salad? A. Lettuce alone with no dressing.
Q. What did a farmer give his wife on Valentine's Day? A. Hogs and kisses!

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, those roses aren't the only thing with a long stem.

Q. Why did the guy break up with his watermelon vendor girlfriend?
A. Because she was always so melon-dramatic about everything!

Q. Why did the blueberry go out with a fig?
A. It couldn't find a date.

Water Fowl Pick-Up Line: Wanna Duck?

Q. What do two small horny ducks say to each other?
A. Let's make a teal.

Q. How does a rooster romance a hen?
A. He takes her to a chick flick.

Q. Why did the rooster get a tattoo?
A. To impress old chicks twenty years from now.

Q. What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A. Wanna grab a bite?

Q. What did bride and groom pickles say at their wedding vows?
A. I Dill!

Q. Where do newlywed horses stay on their honeymoon?
A. The bridle suite.

Q. Why do pickles usually make dreadful domestic partners?
A. Because they're always so green with envy.

Q. Why did the rooster file for divorce?
A. He was tired of being hen-pecked!

Q. Why did the lonely bachelor feel so great after leaving the grocery store?
A. 'Cause a hot woman there was checking him out.

Q. What did the aging farmer say to his wife on Valentine's Day?
A. Like a prune, you aren't getting better looking, but you are getting sweeter!

Q. Why did the sow kick the boar out of bed?
A. Because he always hogged the covers.

Q. Why did the boar's wife run away from home?
A. She felt he was taking her for grunted.

Horsey Pick-Up Line: Hello Mare, wanna go for a roll in the hay?

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay there, you must be tired, 'cause you've been trotting through my mind all day!

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, how would you like to join my exclusive racing club?

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