Q. What do you call cattle that tell jokes? A. Laughing stock!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. Which magazine do the three little pigs read? A. Porks Illustrated!

Q. What do you name a horse that can't lose a race? A. Sherbet!
Q. What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes? A. Bacon Strips!

Q. Which musical instrument should a cucumber play? A. A Pickle-O!

Please stop the cow puns? I'm calving nightmares!
Q. Why did the chicken join a band? A. Because it already had drumsticks!


Farm Entertainment Jokes and Hoe Down Humor
Party with dancing chicken puns, hammy pig actor jokes, laughing cows and lotsa horsing around.

Fun on the Farm Jokes, Barnyard Recreation Puns
(Because Hoe Down Jokes 'n Party Animal Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're At a Square Dance!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Gambling bull jokes, pony fun, rooster rec humor and racy horse puns ahead.
| Fun On the Farm Jokes | Farm Music Jokes | Farm Chat Ups | Farmer Jokes, Farm Animal Puns |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Dairy Farm Jokes | Cow Puns | Bull Puns | Pig Jokes |
| Chicken Jokes | Rooster Puns | Horse Jokes | Bad Ass Puns, Donkey Jokes | Baad Sheep Puns |

Q. How Do Chickens Dance? A. Chick to Chick
Q. Where did the bull lose all his money? A. At teh cowsino!
Did you hear about the pigs who put on a musical? They really like to ham it up!

Q. Which dance will a chicken never ever do?
A. The Fox Trot.

Q. What is a spud's least favorite retro dance?
A. The Mashed Potato.

Q. Why are horses such bad dancers?
A. Because they have two left feet!

Q. What is ketchup's favorite dance?
A. The Salsa!

Q. What's the worst thing about salsa dancing?
A. Getting the tomato stains out of your clothes afterward.

Q. How many choreographed dancers does it take to peel a carrot?
A. Five, six, seven, eight...

Q. How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A. You have to wait until she busts a moove.

Q. Why don't pumpkins like going to Halloween parties?
A. They have no body to dance with!

Q. Why did the pig go to a casino?
A. She wanted to play the slop machines.

Q. What should you do if a pickle wants to play poker?
A. Dill 'em in!

Q. Which kind of tomatoes like Vegas?
A. Diced tomatoes.

Q. When should you shoot pool with a pickle?
A. Only when you find the cue cumbersome.

Q. Why do cows like Painful cow Puns?
A. They like being a-moosed.

Q. Which South American dance do cattle often dance to?
A. The Rumpa!

Q. Why are cows such gifted dancers?
A. They're born hoofers.

Q. Why didn't anybody ask the strawberry to the prom?
A. It was past her sell by date.

Q. What is a Mexican pickle's favorite dance?
A. La Cuke-aracha!

Q. What is a pig's favorite tragedy?
A. Hamlet.

Q. What do hammy pigs like to do?
A. Squeal the spotlight!

Q. What is the favorite ballet of pigs?
A. Swine Lake!

Q. Which actor do thespian pigs try not to emulate?
A. Kevin Bacon.

Q. What happens when you put pigs in a Broadway musical?
A. They squeal the show!

Q. Which pig actor starred in a movie about Frankenswine?
A. Boaris Karloff.

Q. Which popular musical was about a small chicken that performs arias?
A. Bantam of the Opera.

Q.Why did the hogs put a blanket on the ground?
A. They were having a pig-nic.

Q. Who wond the cowboy's chess match? A. It ended in a drawl!
Mischievous Lambs Post Wooly Funny Videos on Ewe Tube
Q. What was teh transvestite rooster's stage name? A. Dawn!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide!

Q. What do you call a gaggle of geese playing hide 'n seek?
A. Fowl play.

Q. What did the ram friends who enjoyed head banging call each other?
A. Best butties.

Q. What game do cows play at parties?
A. Moo-sical Chairs.

Q. Which retro TV western hero was actually a pickle?
A. Marshall Dill.

Q. What is a spicy pepper's favorite Leonardo DiCapro movie?
A. Catch Me If You Cayenne.

Q. Which kind of maize makes dirty X-rated movies?
A. Corn stars.

Q. Where do cows post their videos online?
A. MooTube.

Q. What did the piglets do when the neighbors game console broke?
A. They cried Wii Wii Wii all the way home.

Q. What is a pickle's favorite movie?
A. Brine's Song.

Q. Where do cows go for a night out?
A. To the moo-vies.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. Where can you watch a clown juggle maize?
A. At a corn-ival.

Q. What is a cucumber's favorite movie?
A. The Brining, starring Jack Pickleson.

Q. What is a pickle's second favorite television game show?
A. Dill or No Dill.

Q. What do you call a rooster that was out all night drinking?
A. A crocked-a-doodle-do.

Q. Why do roosters watch television?
A. For hentertainment.

Q. What do you call it when a whole henhouse of chickens plays hide and seek?
A. Fowl Play.

Q. What do chickens serve at going away parties?
A. Flew the Coop Cakes.

Q. How does a rooster do a rain dance?
A. He chants, "Cock-a-doodle-Dew!"

Q. What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoons?
A. They go out on a peck-nic.

Q. What do duck like to watch on TV?
A. Duckumentaries.

Q. Which extreme sport do pumpkins enjoy?
A. Bungee-gourd jumping.

Q. When is rancher like a magician? A. When he turns a cow into a pasture!
Q. Which magazine does the big bad wolf read? A. Porks Illustrated!
Q. When do vampires like horse racing? A. When it's neck & neck!

Q. What do you call a magician cow?
A. Moo-dini.

Q. What do you call a horse that's traveled all over the world?
A. A globe trotter.

Q. Where does corn on the cob like to go on vacation?
A. Lake Earie.

Q. Where do sheep go on vacation?
A. The Baa-hamas.

Q. Why do cows like to ski at Aspen?
A. Because of all the moo-guls.

Q. Where do USA cows go to vacation?
A. Moontana and Cowlifornia.

Q. Where do USA cows like to retire?
A. St. Moois, Moosouri, or Moo Jersey.

Q. Where do cattle stay when they're on vacation?
A. At a mootel.

Q. What is a pickle's favorite tourist spot in England?
A. Picadilly Square!

Q. Why do roosters read PlayCock magazine?
A. For the hentertaining articles.

Q. Which newspaper do cows read?
A. The Daily Moos.

Q. Which publication causes a monthly stampede to the moos stand?
A. Cosmoopolitan magazine.

Q. What's a sheep's favorite newspaper?
A. The Wool Street Journal.

Q. Which newspaper does a super pickle read?
A. The Dilly Planet.

Q. What is a pickle's favorite novel?
A. A Time to Dill.

Q. Who is a Welsh pickle's favorite poet?
A. Dill-an Thomas.

Q. Where can you find a gallery of cows?
A. At an art moo-seum.

Q. Which kind of social gatherings do pigs like the most?
A. Sow-prise parties!

Q. What do you call a race horse that wins a lot money for its owner?
A. A thorough bread winner.

Q. Why is horse racing so romantic?
A. Because the horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye!

Q. Why did the owners name the hot new race horse Bad News?
A. Because Bad News travels fast!

Q. Why did the scum bag owner name his race horse My Face?
A. He wanted to hear the crowd cheer, "Come On, My Face!"

Q. What do you call it when you jump off a cliff with a chicken in each hand?
A. Hen Gliding.

Q. Which veggie won when the lettuce and carrot raced?
A. The lettuce was always a head.

Q. What happens if you use pickles instead of a ping pong ball?
A. You get the Volley of the Dills.

Q. What do you call a promiscuous pony? A. A little whorse!
Q. How do modern cowboys stay in touch? A. They send tex messages!
Q. Why did a rooster go to KFC? A. He wanted to see a chicken strip!

Q. Where do pigs go to get together?
A. To the meat market.

Q. Which kind of porn are autumn gourds into?
A. Pump Kink.

Q. How do you get a horse drunk?
A. Drink him under the stable.

Q. What do you call a donkey with a drinking problem?
A. Wine Gl-ass.

Q. What do you call a drunken pickle?
A. A crocked cuke!

Q. Where does a pickle go to mellow out after work on Friday night?
A. The salad bar.

A watermelon rolls on into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be?" Watermelon replies,"A rum and cuke please."

Q. What do cows like to do in their spare time?
A. Listen to moo-sic.

Q. Why do carrots have so much trouble quitting bad habits?
A. 'Cause they're deep-rooted issues.

Q. What do cows like to use when they send texts?
A. E-moo-jis.

Q. What do you call an equine that wears condoms?
A. Trojan Horse.

Q. How do you make a cow be quiet?
A. Just press the moo-te button!

Q. How does a farmer produce a party on Saturday night?
A. By turning up the beet!

Q. What is a farmer's favorite party game?
A. Truth or Dairy!

Q. What is it called when donkeys party loudly?
A Cele-bray-ting.

Q. Why did the goose bring toilet paper to the celebration?
A. He was a real party pooper.

Q. Which kind of apple throws the best parties?
A. Gala Apples.

Q. How do you host the best pig roast ever?
A. You go whole hog!

Q. Which kind of movies do hens like best?
A. Chick Flicks!

Q. Which martial art are carrots best suited for?
A. Carr-o-tee!

Q. What is a cow's favorite holiday?
A. Moo-morial Day

Q. What do donkeys send out at Christmas time?
A. Mule-tide greetings.

Q. Why do pumpkins like Halloween parties better than Thanksgiving get-togethers?
A. With all the boos oh Halloween, they'll get smashed. On Thanksgiving, they get baked and eaten.

Q. Which holiday does corn always celebrate?
A. New Ear's Day.

Q. When does corn set off fireworks and get drunk?
A. New Ear's Eve.

Q. Why did the orange root veggie decide to wear a costume to Mardi Gras?
A. It was a mask-carrot party.

| Fun On the Farm Jokes | Farm Music Jokes | Farm Chat Ups | Farm Jokes, Farm Animal Puns |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Dairy Farm Jokes | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns |
| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
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