Q. What do you get if you give pasta to a cow? A. Beefaroni!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. What is a cow's favorite deli meat? A. Bull-ogna!
Q. After the bank robbery, why did the owner buy cows? A. To beef up security!
Q. How can you stop a bull from charging? A. Take away his credit card!


Cow Humor, Cattle Riddles, Funny Cow Jokes
Graze on funny cow humor, beefy jokes, udderly painful cow puns and a whole lot of bull crap.

Cow Puns, Cattle Jokes, Beefy Bull Humor
(Because City Jokes and Metro Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Hipster Cows and Boisterous Bulls!)
Warning: Horny Cows Present. Watch Where You Bend Over! The noise isn't the most painful thing ahead.
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Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground BeefQ. What do you call it when a cow blends into its surroundings? A. Being ca-moo-flauged!Owner of a threatening bull was arrested. He was brought up on charges.

Q. What do you call a cow with one leg?
A. Steak.

Q. What is the lowest grade of steak?
A. Where the rubber meets the road.

Q. What did the cattle say to the tortoise in the road?
A. Gee, get a moo-ve on!

Q. Why couldn't the cow leave the dairy farm?
A. Because she was pasteurized.

Q. Why did a cow cross the river?
A. To get to the udder side.

Q. How did the farmer finally find his lost cow?
A. He tractor down!

Q. How do you get a cow to be quiet?
A. Press the moot button.

Q. Why did the blonde give her cow a hammer?
A. Because it was time to hit the hay!

Q. What was that bull doing in the pasture with his eyes shut?
A. Bull Dozing!

Q. How do cows talk to each other?
A. They cow-municate.

Q. Where do USA cows like to retire?
A. St. Moois, Moosouri, or Moo Jersey.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a cow?
A. Hare in your milk.

Q. Which job is a cow best suited for? A. Baker, because they refularly make cow pies!Q. Why is a Barn So Noisy? A. The Cows All Have Horns.Q. What do you call a cow that's afraid of the dark? A. A coward!

Q. What happens when a cow is udderly exhausted?
A. She just cow-lapses!

Q. What does a cow like to put on its French toast?
A. Moo-lasses.

Q. Where do cows post their videos online?
A. MooTube.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer get a brown cow?
A. She wanted chocolate milk.

Q. What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
A. Sigh, it's just an udder day.

Q. How can you tell your cow is really sad?
A. She's absolutely mooved to tears.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a cow?
A. Hound Beef!

Q. What is a cow's favorite color?
A. Marooon.

Q. Who wrote the book about cattle tattoos?
A. Brandon Cows.

Q. Why do cows wear cowbells? A. Because their horns don't work!Q. What do you call a cow with a nervous twitch? A. Beef jerky!Q. Which part of math does a cow enjoy most? A. Mootiplication!

Q. Where do cows ride in the train?
A. The cow-boose.

Q. What did Elsie's hairdresser say?
A. Girl, you've got one wicked cowlick!

Q. What do cows like to do in their spare time?
A. Listen to moo-sic.

Q. Which South American dance do cattle often dance to?
A. The Rumpa!

Q. Where do cows eat lunch?
A. The calf-eteria!

Q. Which beef steak can see into your future?
A. A Medium.

Q. Which newspaper do cows read?
A. The Daily Moos.

Q. Why wouldn't the other calves play with the little longhorn?
A. Because he was a bully!

Q. When is it time for a cow to go to sleep?
A. When is pasture bedtime.

Q. Where do thirsty cow astronauts stop to get a drink? A. The Milky Way!Q. What happened to the lost cattle? A. Nobody's herd!Did you hear about the snobby cow? A. She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Q. What is a cow's favorite sci-fi series?
A. Dr. Moo.

Q. Why was the steak a terrible gossip?
A. It wasn't juicy enough.

Q. What do cattle do after they get married?
A. They go on a honeyMOOn.

Slogan at the local meat market: A good butcher knows how to handle his meat.

Q. Why were the rib eye steaks in the refrigerator embarrassed?
A. They saw the salad dressing.

Q. Why do steaks make such terrific baseball players?
A. Because they're great at the plate!

Q. What did the testy cow say to the farmer?
A. You better milk me soon, or I'm gonna cream you!

Q. Why was the well-done steak's gossip so bad?
A. It wasn't juicy enough.

Q. Who is a T-bone steak's all time favorite movie director?
A. Sizzle B. DeMille.

Q. What does a cow use to keep track of dates and appointments?
A. A Cowlander.

| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes |
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You've fought the bull this far, so here's even more high steaks humor,
moot jokes, and bull sh*t painful puns that are moo-sic to your ears

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