Q. What do you call a cow with one leg?
A. Steak.

Q. What is the lowest grade of steak?
A. Where the rubber meets the road.

Q. What did the cattle say to the tortoise in the road?
A. Gee, get a moo-ve on!

Q. Why couldn't the cow leave the dairy farm?
A. Because she was pasteurized.

Q. Why did a cow cross the river?
A. To get to the udder side.

Q. How did the farmer finally find his lost cow?
A. He tractor down!

Q. How do you get a cow to be quiet?
A. Press the moot button.

Q. Why did the blonde give her cow a hammer?
A. Because it was time to hit the hay!

Q. What was that bull doing in the pasture with his eyes shut?
A. Bull Dozing!

Q. How do cows talk to each other?
A. They cow-municate.

Q. Where do USA cows like to retire?
A. St. Moois, Moosouri, or Moo Jersey.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a cow?
A. Hare in your milk.

Q. What happens when a cow is udderly exhausted?
A. She just cow-lapses!

Q. What does a cow like to put on its French toast?
A. Moo-lasses.

Q. Where do cows post their videos online?
A. MooTube.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer get a brown cow?
A. She wanted chocolate milk.

Q. What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
A. Sigh, it's just an udder day.

Q. How can you tell your cow is really sad?
A. She's absolutely mooved to tears.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a cow?
A. Hound Beef!

Q. What is a cow's favorite color?
A. Marooon.

Q. Who wrote the book about cattle tattoos?
A. Brandon Cows.

Q. Where do cows ride in the train?
A. The cow-boose.

Q. What did Elsie's hairdresser say?
A. Girl, you've got one wicked cowlick!

Q. What do cows like to do in their spare time?
A. Listen to moo-sic.

Q. Which South American dance do cattle often dance to?
A. The Rumpa!

Q. Where do cows eat lunch?
A. The calf-eteria!

Q. Which beef steak can see into your future?
A. A Medium.

Q. Which newspaper do cows read?
A. The Daily Moos.

Q. Why wouldn't the other calves play with the little longhorn?
A. Because he was a bully!

Q. When is it time for a cow to go to sleep?
A. When is pasture bedtime.

Q. What is a cow's favorite sci-fi series?
A. Dr. Moo.

Q. Why was the steak a terrible gossip?
A. It wasn't juicy enough.

Q. What do cattle do after they get married?
A. They go on a honeyMOOn.

Slogan at the local meat market: A good butcher knows how to handle his meat.

Q. Why were the rib eye steaks in the refrigerator embarrassed?
A. They saw the salad dressing.

Q. Why do steaks make such terrific baseball players?
A. Because they're great at the plate!

Q. What did the testy cow say to the farmer?
A. You better milk me soon, or I'm gonna cream you!

Q. Why was the well-done steak's gossip so bad?
A. It wasn't juicy enough.

Q. Who is a T-bone steak's all time favorite movie director?
A. Sizzle B. DeMille.

Q. What does a cow use to keep track of dates and appointments?
A. A Cowlander.

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