Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before. - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. Which job is a cow best suited for? A. Baker, because they refularly make cow pies!
Q. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? A. They kept running around going: "Bach Bach Back!"
Why did the cow go to outer space? To visit the Milky Way!
The Borg assimilated my henhouse and all I got was this lousy occular implant!
Q. What's the difference between a bull and a band? A. The bull has the orns in the front and the ass in the back!


On the Farm Jokes, Cow Puns, Sheepish Humor
Visit the animal farm for funky chicken puns, moo-ving cow humor, and funny farm jokes.

Farm Animal Jokes, Cow Riddles, Barnyard Humor
(Because Urban Jokes and Citified Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Leery Lambs, Hipster Cows, and High Horses!)
Warning: Barnyard Animals Present. Watch Where You Step! The bullcrap isn't the most painful thing ahead.
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Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground BeefMischievous Lambs Post Wooly Funny Videos on Ewe TubeScrambling for an egg joke, but I can't seem to whip one up.

Q. What do you call a cow with one leg?
A. Steak.

Q. What do cattle drive when the car is broken?
A. A COWasaki MOOtorcycle.

Q. What do young calves call their lifelong buddies?
A. Best Friends for Heifer!

Q. What is the most common use for cowhide?
A. Holding cows together!

Q. Why did the cow kick Roy Rogers?
A. She heard he was a cowpuncher.

Q. What has fleece and fangs?
A. Drac-ewe-la!

Q. What did Little Bo Peep say when her little lamb threw up?

Q. What do you call a sheep that's always quiet?
A. A Sssshhheep.

Q. What is it called when you populate an empty meadow with a heard of male sheep?
A. Ram-ification.

Q. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A. A Wooly Good Jumper.

Q. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A. Neither. The rooster did.

Q. What happens when you drop a hand-gren-egg?
A. It egg-splodes!

Q. Why can't you tease egg whites?
A. Because they can't take a yoke!

Q. How can you tell it's too hot in the henhouse?
A. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Q. Why was the noisy rooster annoying when walking either forward or backward?
A. 'Cause it crows both ways.

Duck goes to a drug store to buy some Chapstick. Clerk asks: "Is that cash or credit?" Duck replies: "Just put it on my bill."Sir Lancelot had a bad dream about his horse. It was a knight mare.NASA just put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit. Missioin name: The Herd Shot 'Round the World

Q. Where did the duck go when he was sick?
A. To the duck-tor.

Q. What do you call it when chickens and ducks fall out of the sky?
A. Fowl Weather.

Q. What does a goose say when a duck is in the vee flight path?
A. What the duck?

Q. What do you get if you kiss a duck?
A. A peck on the cheek.

Q. Where did knights park their horses?
A. In a Lancelot.

Q. When do vampires really get into horse racing?
A. Only when it's neck and neck!

Q. Why did the blonde feed her horse so much hay?
A. She thought it would make him softer to ride on.

Q. Which route do crazy horses take through the forest?
A. The psychopath.

Q. What happens when a mad cow gets launched into outer space?
A. Udder Destruction!

Q. How did the farmer finally find his lost cow?
A. He tractor down!

Q. What did Elsie say to her baby cow?
A. Bessie, it's pasture bedtime.

Q. What are the spots on black and white cows?
A. Hol-stains.

Q. Where did the Psychiastrist eat lunch? A. Kentucky Freud ChickenCow Pun - Pasteurize: Too Far Too SeeQ. Why did the pig quit sun bathing? A. He was bacon in the heat!

Q. What do you call a bird that's afraid of flying?
A. Chicken!

Q. What does a crazed, mixed up hen lay?
A. Scrambled eggs.

Q. How can you tell if a chicken is possessed?
A. She lays deviled eggs!

Q. Why did the rooster go to KFC?
A. He wanted to see chickens strip.

Q. What do you get from dairy farms in Alaska?
A. Ice cream.

Q. What did the cow say to the silo?
A. Hay, is my fodder in there?

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink with his meals?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Why did the cow stop running?
A. Because her calves were sore.

Q. What is a pig's favorite color?
A. Mahogany!

Q. Why don't pigs ever recover from an illness?
A. Because you have to kill them before you can cure them!

Q. Why did the pig go to a casino?
A. She wanted to play the slop machines.

Q. Which Painful Puns do pigs enjoy the most?
A. The corniest ones!

Q. What happened when the cow  tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? A. Udder DestructionQ. What is it called when a sheep rustler escapes from jail? A. On the LamQ. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Bull

If you didn't like that last painful cow pun, don't worry. We've got lots of udder funny jokes.

Q. What did the bored cow moo-an about in the morning?
A. It's just an udder day.

Q. What happens when you talk to a cow at a dairy farm?
A. It goes in one ear and out the udder.

Q. What does Elsie The Cow sigh every moorning?
A. It's just an udder day.

Bullish Pick-Up Line: Hey Bessie, I have a major horn on for you.

Q. Why did the lamb call the police?
A. He'd been fleeced!

Q. What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A. An animal in a really baaaaad mooood!

Q. Where do sheep go on vacation?
A. The Baahaamaas.

Did you hear about the accountant who counted sheep in bed? He made a miscount in the first hour and stayed awake all night trying to figure it out.

Q. What did the sheep say when she found a penny on the street?
A. That's better than mutton!

The new neighbor walked up to the dairy farmer with a jug of milk saying, "I just milked your cow." The astounded farmer replied, "Um, that's a bull!"

Q. What do you call a bull who gives no milk?
A. Really pissed off.

Q. Why wouldn't the other calves play with the little longhorn?
A. Because he was a bully!

Q. What do you call a bull wearing a suit of armor?
A. Sir Loin.

Q. What does a rancher call bad directions from a cow?
A. A bum steer.

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