Q. What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes? A. Bacon Strips!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Please stop the cow puns? I'm calving nightmares!
Q. Why did McDonald's run out of McNuggets? A. A farmer counted his chickens before they were hatched!
Hulk with Pot Leaves: Old Growers Never Die, They Just Go to Seed
Q. Why did the chicken's coach cross the basketball court? A. It heard the referee calling fowls!
Q. What would happen if pigs cuold fly? A. The price of bacon would skyrocket!

 


Farm Animal Puns, Poultry Humor, Cow Jokes
Horse around with dairy funny cow jokes, paultry poultry puns, and egg-ceptional farm humor.

Livestock Jokes, Farm Animal Jokes, Meaty Puns
(Because High-Rise Jokes and Inner City Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Headless Chickens and Talking Horses!)
Warning: Messy Farm Animals Present. So, Watch Your Step! The stench isn't the most painful thing ahead.
| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beefy Humor | 2 |
| Farmer Jokes | Cowboy Jokes | Goose Jokes, Duck Puns | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns |
| Horse Jokes | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animal Puns |

Q. How hard is it to milk a cow? A. It's easy as cow pie!Q. Why did half a chicken cross the road? A. To get to its other side!Q. When do vampires like horse racing? A. When it's neck & neck!

Q. What happens if you try to lecture a teenage a cow?
A. It just goes in one ear and out the udder.

Q. How do you make a cow be quiet?
A. Just press the moo-te button!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and Quackers!

Q. What do you get from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. What did the sleep-deprived rancher say to his cow who was mooing into the wee hours?
A. It's pasture bedtime!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road half way?
A. She wanted to lay it on the line!

Q. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
A. It just wanted to stretch its legs!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. It just dawned on him!

Q. How do you keep a chicken in suspense?
A. I'll tell you later...

Q. Which historical English monarch was known for keeping a huge poultry farm?
A. King Hennery.

Q. Who helps the horse stable cleaning guy?
A. His co-pile-it!

Q. Where do stylish horses get their hair done?
A. Maine.

Q. Why did the baby pony have to gargle before bedtime?
A. It was a just a little hoarse.

Q. How do you get a wild stallion to accept a halter?
A. Turn the stables on him.

Q. What should you call a horse with no hair on his neck?
A. He shall remain maneless.

Q. Why did the farmer make the pigs do paperwork? A. Because it was grunt work!Q. What do you call rude Canada geese? A. In Colorado, you know better than to call a goose!Q. Why don't cows have any money? A. Because farmers milk them dry!

Q. What did the farmer say when his big fat pig couldn't fit into its pen?
A. There's a lot more here than meets the sty.

Q. What did the farmer get when he crossed a chilie pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund?
A. A hot diggity dog!

Q. Why did the Alabama farmer plant yeast in his field?
A. So the South can rise again!

Q. What is a goose's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast!

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the goose?
A. Because it was in da skies.

Q. What does a plumber farmer call an escaped bird?
A. A Lefty Loosey Goosey!

Q. Where did the duck go when he was sick?
A. To the duck-tor.

Q. If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather?
A. An umbrella!

Q. What does a cow use to keep track of dates and appointments?
A. A Cowlander.

Q. How can you tell if your steak enjoys classical music?
A. It frequents the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!

Q. What did the horse say when it fell? A. I've fallen and I can't giddy up!Q. What do you call it when a cow blends into its surroundings? A. Being ca-moo-flauged!Q. Which fruit do sheep enjoy most? A. Baaaa-nanas!

Q. How do you know if a colt is sick?
A. He feels a little hoarse.

Q. How does a horse from Kentucky greet another equine?
A. With southern horse-pitality!

Q. What do you get if you cross a horse and a bee?
A. Neigh Buzz!

Equine Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, are you a racehorse? 'Cause when I ride you, you'll always finish first.

Q. Why did the determined dairy cow cross the river?
A. To get to the udder side.

Q. How do you get a commercial cow to stop trying to sell you trite stuff and just be quiet?
A. Press the moot button.

Q. What do cows wear in Hawaii?
A. Moo-moos.

Q. What did Elsie's hairdresser say?
A. Girl, you've got one wicked cowlick!

Did you hear about the blonde who decided to become a sheep farmer? She planted them too close together.

Q. What lives under water and bleats at ships?
A. A ewe-boat.

Q. Where do sheep go on holiday?
A. Baali.

Ovine Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are ewe a sheep? 'Cause your body is unbaalievable.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a cactus? A. A Porky Pine!Q. What's the difference between meat and a chicken? A. If you beat your chicken, it will die!Q. How did the cow get to Mars? A. It flew through udder space!

Q. What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
A. The letter F!

Q. What do you call a pig with no legs?
A. A Groundhog!

Q. Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease?
A. Because men are pigs!

Q. Why did the three little pigs run away from home?
A. Because their dad was such a boar.

Q. Which kind of pig has skin problems?
A. A Warthog.

Q. What do you call a rooster that was out all night drinking?
A. A crocked-a-doodle-do.

A chicken and an egg walk into the bar at the same time. Bartender says, "Who's first?"

Q. What do you call the outside of a hen-grenade?
A. The bombshell.

Q. What subject do chickens study in school?
A. Egg-onomics.

Q. What glows in the dark and clucks?
A. Radioactive Chicken Kiev.

Did you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have dragged him a mile! Yes, the bull was really quite testy.

Q. What did the bored cow moo-an about in the morning?
A. It's just an udder day.

Q. Which South American dance do cattle often dance to?
A. The Rumpa!

Q. What is a a typical cow's favorite day of the week?
A. Moonday!

| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beefy Humor | 2 |
| Farmer Jokes | Cowboy Jokes | Goose Jokes, Duck Puns | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns |
| Horse Jokes | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animal Puns |


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You've sty-ed this long, so here's even more egg-ceptional humor,
dairy funny jokes, and meaty painful puns that'll turn the stables on you:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Chef Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Crappy Puns | Cross the Road Jokes | Gnome Kidding! | Hamburger Jokes |
| Hipster Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Mummy Puns | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns |
| Sports Jokes | Superman Jokes | Travel Puns | Veggie Jokes | Weather Jokes | Weed Jokes | Winter Jokes |

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Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor

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