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Q. What do you call a donkey on steroids? A. An ass-teroid!
Q. Why was teh rancher arrested at the gym? A. He was hurting his calves!
Q. Which fruit do sheep enjoy most? A. Baaaa-nanas!
Q. What do you get if a pig and a chicken bump into each other? A. Ham and Eggs!
Q. What do you call cattle that tell jokes? A. Laughing stock!


Funny Farmer Jokes, Cow Humor, Pig Puns
Mosey on in for moo-ving cow puns, boaring pig puns, and funny chicken jokes to cluck about.

Farming Humor and Funny Farm Animal Jokes
(Because Downtown Jokes and Urban Cowboy Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Crazed Cows and Punky Pigs!)
Warning: Farm Critters Present. Watch Where You Walk! Hogwash humor isn't the most painful stench ahead.
| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Farm Come-Onss |
| Fun On the Farm | Farm Crop Puns | Dairy Farm Jokes | Cow Puns | Bull Puns | Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Pig Puns | Chicken Jokes | Rooster Puns | Goose LOLs |
| Farm Criminal Jokes | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes | Farm Animal Astronaut Jokes |

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but he ca't make him drink it!Why did the chicken cross the road? Dammin Jim! I'm a doctor, not a farmer! - Bones McCoyQ. What kind of music do sheep like? A. Baach!

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey." Horse says, "Yes please. And can I get a beer with that?"

Bag of fertilizer walks into a bar. Bartender says, "You can come in, but don't give me any sh*t."

Q. How do you get a horse drunk?
A. Drink him under the stable.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender asks, "Why the short face?"

Horsey Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, wanna horse around?

Q. Where does a rural country farmer get his medicine?
A. At the farm-acy!

Q. What do farmers use to create crop circles?
A. A Protractor.

I tried to navigate the farmer's field, but it was a maize!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because it was free range.

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, how'd you like to switch gears on my tractor?

Q. Which two rock bands do longhorn sheep like dancing to most?
A. Ewe 2 and Ewe B 40.

Q. What is a sheep's favorite pop group?
A. The Pet Sheep Boys.

Q. If dogs have fleas, what do sheep have?
A. Fleece!

Q. What's a sheep's favorite newspaper?
A. The Wool Street Journal.

Sheepish Chat Up Line: Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put ewe and I together.

Q. Why did the cow jump over the moon? A. Because the farmer had cold hands!Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cow? A. Roost Beef!Q. What would happen if pigs cuold fly? A. The price of bacon would skyrocket!

Q. What does a farmer talk about while milking his cows?
A. Oh, just udder nonsense.

Q. What did the cattle say to the tortoise in the road?
A. Gee, get a moo-ve on!

Q. How did the gnome farmer fix his torn jeans?
A. With a cabbage patch.

Did you hear about the farmer who wanted to buy 1000 hens, but didn't have the money? He decided to just put them on layaway.

Q. How do you keep a chicken in suspense?
A. I'll tell you later...

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement truck?
A. A Brick Layer.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A. Cocker-Poodle-Do!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a weed eater?
A. A Lawnmooer!

Farm Nutrition Point to Ponder: Are cows actually two of the four food groups?

Q. What do you call fake pig news?
A. A lot of hogwash!

Q. What is a pig's favorite color?
A. Mahogany!

Q. Why did the farmer name his pig "Ink?"
A. Because it always ran out of the pen!

Q. What do you call a pig that's no fun to be around?
A. Boar-ing!

Q. What do you call a wild boar caught in a forest fire?
A. Smoked sausage.

Q. What do you call a cow without any front legs? A. Lean beef!Q. What do you get if you play tug of war with a pig? A. Pulled Pork!Q. What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? A. Ground beef!

Q. What do you call a cow with only two left feet?
A. A side of beef.

Q. Which animals like to wear socks?
A. Calves.

No, BBQ beef is not just a mere udderance to a grill master.

Q. What is a cow's favorite holiday?
A. Moo-morial Day.

Q. What was the cattle rustler doing when he broke into the ranch?
A. Taking stock.

Q. What did the pig scream when he got hurt?
A. Call me a ham-bulance!

Q. Why are books about pigs so interesting?
A. Because there's always a twist in the tail!

Q. How do spy pigs write secret messages?
A. With invisible oink!

Q. Why did the hog cross the road?
A. Just because he was boared.

Q. On which February holiday do pigs elect their new leader?
A. Crowned Hog Day!

Q. How easy is it to milk a cow?
A. Well, it's no piece of steak!

I don't eat steak often, so when I do, it's a rare occasion.

S-A-L-A-D: That's a funny way to spell STEAK!

Q. What happens if a cow laughs too hard?
A. She cow-lapses!

Cowboy Chat Up Line: Hey gal, I saw how you handled that mechanical bull, so I want to let you know you can straddle me any time.

Q. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? A. They kept running around going: "Bach Bach Back!"Q. When is rancher like a magician? A. When he turns a cow into a pasture!Why did the chicken cross the road? Why is a barnyard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous? – Mr. Data

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a guitar?
A. A chicken that makes music when you pluck it.

Q. What do you call a group of chickens all clucking in unison?
A. A Hen-semble.

Q. How does a rooster do a rain dance?
A. He chants, "Cock-a-doodle-Dew!"

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a bell?
A. An alarm cluck.

Q. Why was it so hard to brush the heifer's hair?
A. She had a bad cow lick!

Q. What happened to that lost beef shipment?
A. Nobody's herd!

Q. What did the cow landlord say when she evicted the broke donkey?
A. Moove your fat ass outta here!

Q. Where do USA cows go to vacation?
A. Moontana and Cowlifornia.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road without any hesitation?
A. She thought it was an egg-cellent idea.

Q. Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A. Because it was stuck on the chicken's foot.

Q. Why didn't the myopic chicken who had LASIK cross the road?
A. The chopping block was on the other side.

Q. Why did a dog cross the road?
A. To get out of the barking lot.

| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Farm Pick-Up Lines |
| Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Farm Crop Puns | Fun On the Farm | Dairy Farm Jokes |
Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes | ...And Cross Again? |
| Rooster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Egg Jokes | Turkey Jokes | 2 | Goose Jokes | Fowl LOLs | Duck Puns | 2
| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes, Pony Puns | 2 | 3 | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes |
| Farm Animal Astronaut Jokes | Garden Animal LOLs | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Xmas Animal Puns |

PainfulPuns Home
You've pecked around this far, so here's even more hogwash humor,
clucked-up jokes, and boaring painful puns that'll produce some grins:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Jokes | Butcher Puns | Colorado Jokes | Composer Humor | Cross the Road Jokes | Cyborg LOLs |
| Guy Jokes | Hat Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Lunar Laughs | Musician Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal humor |
| Sports Jokes | Star Trek Jokes | Superman Jokes | Travel Puns | Weather Jokes | Weed Jokes | Winter Jokes |

Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor Garden Puns, Green Groaners Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor

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