Why weren't the toilet paper thieves arrested?
A. The cops kept patting the suspects down, butt they were
What did the cannibal say after he dumped his wife?
A. Please pass the toilet paper.
Paper Point to Ponder: Why do people prefer luxury brand
butt wipe, when on the hole, it's all the same?
What kind of music do you play for a boulder and some toilet
A. Rock 'n Roll!
Pick-Up Line: Hey, my name is
Charmin and you must be hot shit? 'Cause I want you all
guy bought a toilet brush because he saw one in every other
bathroom. But, after giving it a whirl, he decided to go
back to using toilet paper.
How is patience like a roll of toilet paper?
A. The bigger the asshole, the faster you run out of it.
Which dinosaur was a real party pooper?
A. T.P. Rex.
What did critics say to the guy who invented perforated
toilet paper ?
A. This stuff is tear-able!
Why doesn't the new Mad Max toilet paper sell very well?
A. It's rough and tough and doesn't take crap from anybody!
What happens when little toilet paper grows up big and strong?
A. It becomes a toilet-tree.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. He wiped his butt.
Why do research centers only supply one-ply toilet paper?
A. Because that leads to more breakthroughs.
Which new bathroom wipe was popular with consumers for only
a few months?
A. Faddy Tissue.
Trek Evacuation Advice: Never buy cheap toilet
paper so that you aren't stuck in the bathroom battling
Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, is your
name Charmin? 'Cause you really wipe me out.
you hear about the guy who sat down to take take a dump
and realized there was no toilet paper? It scared the shit
out of him, so he didn't really have to wipe in the end.
How do you describe it when you run out of toilet paper?
A. A truly shitty experience.
Pick-Up Line: Hi, my name is
Chamin. You must be the sh*t because I want you all over
tissue walks into a bar and the bartenders asks if he wants
a drink. Tissue says, "No you idiot, it'll go right
through me." Bartender replies, "Well, you don't
have to get all snotty about it.
life, as on the toilet, the job isn't done until the paperwork
What did the shrink say to the guy who was compelled to
use far too much toilet paper?
A. You are just being anal.
What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house?
A. Depends. Not a joke – Wear Depends!