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Q. What is the definition of surprise? A. A fart with a lump in it!
A belch is just a gust of wind that comes from the heart, but when it takes the downward trend, it turns into a fart!
Children are like farts. Your own are bearable, but everyone else's are absolutely horrendous!
Gorilla Says: Life starts out with everyone cheering when you poop, and drastically goes down hill from there!
Q. What is brown and sounds like a bell? A. Dung
Q. How are men like laxatives? A. Both can irritate the sh*t out of you!

 


Toilet Paper Jokes, Bathroom Humor, Shitty Puns
Unroll two-ply tissue puns, ass wipe humor, and toilet paper jokes that'll really crack you up.

Toilet Tissue Humor, Funny TP Puns, Crappy Jokes
(Because Funny Toilet Paper Jokes and Ass Wipe Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When the End is Near!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Wiped out jokes, rolling toilet tissue humor, and dirty bum puns ahead.
| Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Toilet Jokes | 2 | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

Toilet Paper. What a Rip Off!Q. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A. It wanted to get to the bottom!Q. Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? A. It got stuck in a crack!

Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll, or you're taking a load of sh*t from some asshole...

Q. What did one sheet of toilet paper say to another?
A. Man, I really feel wiped out.

Toilet Paper Point to Ponder: Why are there so many toilet tissue jokes, if running out of T.P. is no laughing matter?

Q. What happened when the truckload of toilet paper crashed on the highway?
A. When cops arrived at the scene, they asked if it was a roll-over or a roll-under.

Q. What is the difference between toilet paper and toast?
A. Toast is brown on both sides.

Q. How do you know toilet paper is pessimistic?
A. Because it's mantra is "The End Is Near."

Q. How can you tell your toilet paper has a great sense of humor?
A. Because it always cracks up in a shitty situation!

Q. Why didn't toilet paper with Sudoku puzzles printed on it ever take off?
A. Because you can't complete the puzzles with only #1 and #2!

When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it!

Q. What happened to the guy who had a toilet paper display collapse on him at the store?
A. He suffered from soft tissue damage.

Q. Why did the entrepreneur try to pitch his idea for glow-in-the-dark toilet paper?
A. Because sometimes shit happens in the dark.

Q. What happened when the shipment of toilet paper crashed on the freeway?
A. Police described the scene as a real wipe-out.

Q. How are the Enterprise and toilet paper alike? A. Both circle Uranus wiping out Klings!Q. How do you get a tissue to dance? A. Put a little boogie in it!Q. Why don't they have toilet paper at KFC? A. Because it's finger-licking good!

Q. How do you describe running out of toilet paper when you have diarrhea?
A. A very bad shit-uation!

Q. What is the difference between a car and toilet paper?
A. It's perfectly okay to buy a used car.

Q. Why did the toilet paper join a rock band?
A. Because it was on a roll!

Q. Why did they stop manufacturing the extra strength Chuck Norris brand toilet paper?
A. Because it didn't take any shit from anybody!

Q. Why did the toilet paper win big in Vegas?
A. Because it was on a roll!

Q. How do you know toilet paper is a dedicated worker?
A. Because it believes no job is done until the paperwork is done.

Q. What happened when the semi truck loaded with toilet paper crashed on the Interstate?
A. Cops say drivers will be bogged down with bad runs until the scene is cleaned up.

Toilet Paper Pont to Ponder: Is toilet tissue surprised if you use it blow your nose? Is that a pleasant surprise?

Q. What happened when the big rig full of toilet paper crashed on the busy street?
A. Police expect the scene to be backed up for quite a while.

You might be a redneck if your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
– Jeff Foxworthy

Q. What kind of temperment do you need to work in a toilet paper factory?
A. You need to have a Charmin disposition.

TP Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, is your name Charmin? 'Cause you really wipe me out.

Bathroom Humor: I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean.Q. Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party? A. Because he was a party pooper!Toilet Meme: A good relief map shows where the restrooms are.

You never appreciate what you've got until it's gone. Toilet paper is a great example...

Q. Why did the toilet paper comedian tell so many funny jokes?
A. Because he was on a roll.

Q. How many men does it take to replace an empty roll of toilet paper?
A. Nobody knows because it's never been done!

Q. What happened when the semi truck full of toilet paper crashed on the Interstate?
A. Police did not ticket the driver, saying he had a bum steer.

Q. What happened when the semi truck full of toilet paper crashed on the Interstate?
A. Police say there were definite skid marks leading up to the scene of the accident.

Q. Why is there so much toilet paper in the US Capitol building?
A. Because there are so many assholes there!

Q. What do you call a bathroom with no toilet paper?
A. Scott Free!

Success is like toilet paper; it only seems important when you don't have it.
– Richard Jeni

Q. What do you call it when you have a nightmare about a national toilet paper shortage?
A. The shittiest dream ever!

Q. Why are toilet paper jokes so funny?
A. Because they really crack you up!

Q. What happened to the guy who did a study on the minimal amount of toilet paper that can be used?
A. He had a real breakthrough.

Gross Bathroom Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I wish I was toilet paper so I could touch your butt.

Chimp Asks: How many animals can you fit on a toilet? A. One pussy and 1000 hares!Q. Why don't they have toilet paper at KFC? A. It's finger-licking good!Q. What do you get if you poop in your jeans? A. Dungarees!

Q. Why weren't the toilet paper thieves arrested?
A. The cops kept patting the suspects down, butt they were clean.

Q. What did the cannibal say after he dumped his wife?
A. Please pass the toilet paper.

Toilet Paper Point to Ponder: Why do people prefer luxury brand butt wipe, when on the hole, it's all the same?

Q. What kind of music do you play for a boulder and some toilet paper?
A. Rock 'n Roll!

TP Pick-Up Line: Hey, my name is Charmin and you must be hot shit? 'Cause I want you all over me.

A guy bought a toilet brush because he saw one in every other bathroom. But, after giving it a whirl, he decided to go back to using toilet paper.

Q. How is patience like a roll of toilet paper?
A. The bigger the asshole, the faster you run out of it.

Q. What did critics say to the guy who invented perforated toilet paper ?
A. This stuff is tear-able!

Q. Why doesn't the new Mad Max toilet paper sell very well?
A. It's rough and tough and doesn't take crap from anybody!

Q. What happens when little toilet paper grows up big and strong?
A. It becomes a toilet-tree.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. He wiped his butt.

Q. Why do research centers only supply one-ply toilet paper?
A. Because that leads to more breakthroughs.

Q. Which new bathroom wipe was popular with consumers for only a few months?
A. Faddy Tissue.

Star Trek Evacuation Advice: Never buy cheap toilet paper so that you aren't stuck in the bathroom battling Klingons.

Did you hear about the guy who at down to take take a dump and realized there was no toilet paper? It scared the shit out of him, so he didn't really have to wipe in the end.

Q. How do you describe it when you run out of toilet paper?
A. A truly shitty experience.

Bathroom Pick-Up Line: Hi, my name is Chamin. You must be the sh*t because I want you all over me.

A tissue walks into a bar and the bartenders asks if he wants a drink. Tissue says, "No you idiot, it'll go right through me." Bartender replies, "Well, you don't have to get all snotty about it.

In life, as on the toilet, the job isn't done until the paperwork is finished.

Q. What did the shrink say to the guy who was compelled to use far too much toilet paper?
A. You are just being anal.

Q. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house?
A. Depends. Not a joke – Wear Depends!

| Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Toilet Jokes | 2 | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

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