Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!

Q. What is green and smelly?
A. Incredible Hulk poop!

Q. Why are Ninja farts so dangerous?
A. Because they are silent, yet deadly!

Diarrhea Point to Ponder: Can eating prunes give you a run for your money?

Q. Why do dogs always stop to sniff anonymous dog sh*t?
A. It's aromatic poop-pourri to them.

Q. Why do research centers only supply one-ply toilet paper?
A. Because that leads to more breakthroughs.

Did you hear about the guy who sat down to take take a dump and realized there was no toilet paper? It scared the shit out of him, so he didn't really have to wipe in the end.

Q. Why did the toilet paper win big in Vegas?
A. Because it was on a roll!

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. He wiped his butt.

Two flies are sitting on a pile of poop. One fly farts, and the other fly yells, "Hey, I'm trying to eat here!"

Q. Why was the guy alarmed after using the toilet and taking a really huge dump?
A. Because he feared he lost one turd of his weight.

Q. What is an example of a small thing that isn't fully appreciated until it's gone?
A. Toilet paper.

Two dogs meet on the street and do a ritual sniff. One turns to the other and says, "I don't recall your name, but the feces familiar."

If pizzas were manhole covers, the sewer would be paradise. – Ed Norton

Q. Why did the apathetic old man hope he'd finally die of constipation?
A. So that people would know he didn't give a shit, all the way to the bitter end.

Understatement of the Day: Constipation can be a serious problem. No Shit!

Q. When shouldn't you tell a stinking funny poop joke?
A. When it's just too crappy.

Toilet Paper: What a rip off!

Q. What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A. You look flushed!

Poop is a crap palindrome.

Q. What happens when kids are playing in the garden and don't tell you they have to use the toilet?
A. They soil themselves.

Bathroom Pick-Up Line: My love for you is just like a fart. I just can't hold it in.

Wanna hear a diarrhea joke? Oh, wait! Please hold that thought...

Q. How many plumbers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to get the beer, and another to call an electrician.

Q. Why are the urologist's pee jokes always so funny?
A. Because he always goes with the flow.

Sign at the Urologist Office: Urine Good Hands.

Q. What happens when you miss the toilet bowl?
A. Urine trouble with your wife.

#1 Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't we get pissed off?

With age comes the skill of multi-tasking. Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time.

Q. How is getting an Amber Alert while you're on the toilet like winning the lottery?
A. Those alerts are designed to scare the crap out of you!

Q. Why is #1 yellow?
A. Because it's afraid of #2!

Q. What did the poop say to the fart?
A. Wow, you just blew me away!

Q. How did one guy get over his chronic diarrhea?
A. He made some positive lifestyle changes and really got his shit together.

Q. When is the best time to have diarrhea?
A. When you're playing Scrabble, 'cause that's worth a shit load of points.

Bowel Movement Point to Ponder: Are you emotionally constipated if you just don't give a crap?

Q. What is the most productive time to take your dog for a walk?
A. Poo-thirty.

Q. What kind of bathroom humor do butts like best?
A. Shitty jokes.

Q. What is the German term for constipation?
A. Farfrompoopin.

Q. What do you call it when you get diarrhea after eating at a German restaurant?
A. The wurst.

Potty Point to Ponder: Are people who constantly talk about constipation just full of crap?

Q. What do you call a 12-inch turd?
A. A foot stool!

Q. What did the little turd say to the big fart?
A. Wow, you just blew me away!

Q. What do you call a dog that eats another dog's feces?
A. Pooper scooper.

Q. Which chocolate brown frozen confection dog treat never made it to market?
A. Poopsicles.

Q. Why is animal poop sexy?
A. Because the birds and bees doo it.

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