Q. What do you call a 12-inch turd?
A. A foot stool!

Super Pooper Point to Ponder: You know, krytonite must really smell super bad, plus it glows green? Ew!

Q. Which kinds of jokes do toilets and bidets really eat up?
A. Super crappy puns.

Q. How are dog poop and women alike?
A. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. Which soft drink do proctologists enjoy in the office breakroom?
A. Poopsie Cola.

Q. How did the proctologist refer to his now ex-wife?
A. Poopsie.

Q. What do doctors and plumbers have in common?
A. They both bury their mistakes.

Q. Why did the urologist cross the road?
A. To pee what was on the other side.

True, but at least we know Superman wears underwear! Otherwise, he'd be known as Tuberman!

Q. Where does Superman park his privates?
A. On Lois Lane.

Q. What do reporters call a news story about dog sh*t?
A. A Poop Scoop.

Q. What does a hipster get if he poops in his skinny jeans?
A. Dungarees.

Q. Why don't skeletons ever fart in front of others?
A. Because they don't have the guts.

Q. Why don't comedians in Colorado tell brief fart jokes?
A. Because they wear boxers.

Q. What do you call an enlisted guy in the army who only farts in the barracks?
A. A private tooter.

Plumbing is the only profession where you'll hear the boss say, "Be sure your joints have lots of dope in them."

Did you hear about the guy who claimed smoking cannabis was giving him diarrhea? His doctor told him to shit and get off the pot.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because the rooster farted.

Eco blondes know the adage: If it's yellow, let it mellow. And, blondes know green is good, unless your toner can't correct it.

Q. How is working in a dead end job just like constipation?
A. Because you just don't give a shit!

Q. Do you want to play the new board game, Constipation?
A. Sorry, it's not out yet. Sigh.

Did you hear about the guy at Burger King who took a dump in the restroom? Naturally, it was a Whopper.

You wanna hear a crappy poop joke that really stinks? Oh nevermind... It's tasteless and far too corny.

Q. Why couldn't the fast food patron visit the new website constipation.ugh?
A. Because he was blocked!

A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket...

Q. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
A. Because it wanted to get to the bottom.

Q. Why did the entrepreneur try to pitch his idea for glow-in-the-dark toilet paper?
A. Because sometimes shit happens in the dark.

Q. How does a fart refer to the love of his brief life?
A. Poopsie.

Two bats were just hanging out when one asks the other, "Do you remember your worst day last year?" Second bat replies, "Yeah, the day I had diarrhea."

Toilet Paper Point to Ponder: Why do people prefer luxury brand butt wipe, when on the hole, it's all the same?

You can take the man out of the sewer, but you can't take the sewer out of the man. – Trixie Norton

Q. Which movie role did John Travolta turn down after reading the script?
A. Poop Fiction.

Did you hear there's a new constipation joke at PainfulPuns? Yeah, we're still waiting for it to come out...

Toilet Paper Point to Ponder: Why are there so many toilet tissue jokes, if running out of T.P. is no laughing matter?

Success is like toilet paper; it only seems important when you don't have it.
– Richard Jeni

Gross Bathroom Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I wish I was toilet paper so I could touch your butt.

Q. What is the most popular type of bathroom jokes in Denver?
A. Broncos are #1!

Q. Where do football players go before the big game?
A. The Toilet Bowl.

Q. Which event do gamey toilets bet on every year?
A. The Pooper Bowl.

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