Q. How are the Enterprise and toilet paper alike? A. Both circle Uranus wiping out Klings!   PainfulPuns.com - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

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Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. He was pissed off!
The movie, Diarrhea – It's all over the place!
Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A. A Private Tutor!
Q. What kind of fungus might grow in a toilet? A. Toadstools!

 


Bathroom Humor, Crappy Puns, Toilet Jokes
Sniff out personal stinkers, putrid poop puns, rank toilet humor and odorous bathroom jokes.

Toilet Humor, Bathroom Jokes, Stinky Puns
(Because White Toilets Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream and Sh*tty Bathroom Puns Could Make You Run and Flush!)
Warning: Do Proceed with Caution! Crappy toilet humor, stinky jokes, loo laughs and poop-ular puns ahead.
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

Laughter is the best medicine unless you have diarrhea!Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget!Did you hear about the girl who fell off the toilet? She was so embarrassed, that her cheeks flushed!

Q. Where does a pirate go when he has diarrrhea?
A. The poop deck.

Q. What is the most nerve-wracking moment in the life of a guy?
A. Attempting your first silent fart after a bout of diarrhea.

Q. Why are turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!

Q. What's it called when a skeleton poops in your toilet and doesn't flush?
A. A spooky dookie.

Q. What do both your toilet and butt call it when a giant turd is on the way?
A. A groaner.

Q. Why are constipated people so stinking rude?
A. They just don't give a crap.

Q. How do you know if a toilet is lying to you?
A. Just look inside to see if it's full of shit.

Pooper Scooper: Dude, I make $500 a week picking up dog sh*t.
Dude: That's gross.
Pooper Scooper: No, that's net.

Q. Why don't elevators have toilets?
A. Because that's taking shit to a whole new level.

Q. What did the guy say to the blonde when he playfully slapped her butt?
A. Hi, Poopsie!

Q. Who does a toilet call when it has plumbing problems ?
A. A Plunger.

Q. Why don't skeletons ever fart in front of others?
A. Because they don't have the guts.

I love my toilet! We've been through a lot of sh*t together!Children are like farts. Your own are bearable, but everyone else's are absolutely horrendous!Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom? A. At the BP Station!

Q. What did the rectum say to the toilet?
A. There goes all my hard work, right down the drain.

Q. What is the lament of sad poop spiraling toward an anus?
A. The end is near!

When the plumber broke up with his girlfriend, he said, "It's over, Flo."

Did you hear about the toilet that plays ABBA songs when you flush it? What a loo!

Q. Why don't farts graduate from school?
A. Because they always end up getting expelled!

Q. How can you tell your toilet paper has a great sense of humor?
A. Because it always cracks up in a shitty situation!

Q. What do you call it when you have a nightmare about a national toilet paper shortage?
A. The shittiest dream ever!

Q. What does a female snake do after using the toilet?
A. Viper stuff!

Q. What will archaeologists call a crappy cop after a successful weight reduction diet a million years from now?
A. A Coprolite.

Did you hear about the plumbers who went to Vegas to play some craps? They were on a real roll until their luck crapped out.

Q. Why did the blonde take a nap on the toilet? A. Because it's in the rest room!Crappy Pun: I must be emotionally constipated. I just can't seem to give a sh*t! Q. Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? A. It got stuck in a crack!

Here I sit to take a sh*t, I pushed a load but nothing showed. Then I realized something was amiss, because I initially came in here to piss.

Q. What does a baker call it when he's stealing away in the restroom for a moment?
A. Pinching a loaf.

Q. What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom?
A. Urine Luck.

Restroom Tip of the Day: If you see a baby owl in the toilet, don't flush it because you aren't supposed to flush moist owlets.

Q. What do a toilet and a library have in common?
A. Both are places assholes go to be loud and obnoxious.

Q. What is another name for the handicapped stall in the restroom?
A. A handicrapped zone.

Today's TP Trivial Factoid of the Day: When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it!

Q. Why didn't toilet paper with Sudoku puzzles printed on it ever take off?
A. Because you can't complete the puzzles with only #1 and #2!

Q. How is patience like a roll of toilet paper?
A. The bigger the asshole, the faster you run out of it.

Q. Why did Batman go into the men's room? A. H guano do his duty!Chimp Asks: Why do farts stink? A. So deaf people can enjoy them, too!Q. What did a probation officer say after his client failed a piss test? A. You dipstick!

Q. Why did the guy name his toilet Jim?
A. So that he could tell everybody that he goes to the Jim everyday.

Q. How did the hospital basketball league end the season?
A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2.

What idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? Betting his name was Ed.

Q. What is the difference between Mozart and methane?
A. One is music to your ears and the other is music from the rear.

Q. What is a fart?
A. The lonely cry of an abandoned turd.

Flatuent Point to Ponder: If people talk about you behind you back, is that the same as a fart?

Q. Why did the guy have to take a urine test today?
A. His kleptomania had gotten out of hand...

Q. Why is it called a urine test?
A. Because if you fail it, urine trouble.

Q. What degree do you need to examine video urine samples made at various resolutions?
A. A peeH.d.

| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

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