Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. The Captain's Log!   PainfulPuns.com - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

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Captain Kirk Says: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!
Worf Asks: Why can't Klingon kids play in sandboxes? A. Cats keep trying to cover them up!
Q. What happened when Yeoman Rand said there was a peephole in her cabin door? A. Captain Kirk promised t look into it!
Q. How do you unlock doors on Kashyyyk? A. With a Woo-key!
Captain Kirk Says: Boldly Go Watch Star Trek Reruns!


Science Fiction Bathroom Jokes of the Future!
Doctor Who Wookiee Shat Klingon Turds into the Sewer of the Future? Jim, that's Just Spocking!

Sci-Fi Toilet Humor and Crappy Future Poops
(Because Futuristic Toilet Jokes Couldn't Be Mainstream Enough and Toilet Puns Transcend Time and Space!)
Warning: Boldly Go with Caution! Galactic toilet jokes, captain's log humor, and stellar poop puns ahead.
| Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Superhero Loo LOLs | Men's Room Jokes | Fart Jokes | Sewer Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, and #1 Humor |
| Bathroom Jokes | Lady's Room Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Manure LOLs | Gas Station Jokes |

Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. The Captain's Log!Q. How are the Enterprise and toilet paper alike? A. Both circle Uranus wiping out Klings!Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. A Little Shat!

It is illogical to read in the bathroom, unless it's a 1930s Sears catalog in an outhouse. – Spock Blooper Reel

Q. What do you call a classic sci-fi TV episode that's dedicated to past flatulence?
A. A gassy montage.

Q. How did Pavel Chekov ask for directions to the nearest space toilet?
A. Course heading, Captain? To which Kirk replied, "Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning."

Q. What did Doctor McCoy call the diarrhea outbreak on the Starship Enterprise?
A. Star Trek Reruns!

Q. What did Scotty say about the loo on NCC-1701?
A. Aye, Captain. She's fully automated!

Q. Why aren't Romulan bathrooms malodorous?
A. Romulans use cloaking devices! (Plus, they always put the toilet seat down to further contain the stench of this joke.)

Q. What happened when Troi reported a peephole in the bathroom door in her quarters?
A. Riker is still looking into it.

Q. Why is constipation less painful aboard the Enterprise D?
A. Because Deanna Troi can feel your pain.

Q. Why did the Star Trek NG plumber insist on personally using every new toilet he installs?
A. Because he wants to boldly go where no one has gone before!

Stinking Funny Science Fiction Toilet Trivia: In Star Trek, there is no such thing as a little Shat!

Q. Which part of a science fiction trilogy is always a real stinker?
A. Da Turd Part!

Q. Why didn't the Star Trek brand of toilet paper ever take off?
A. Actually it did, but it went where no man has gone before, making it moot!

Q. What did Uhuru say when the Enterprise was contacted by toxic alien farts?
A. Captain, we're we're being ex-hailed!

Q. What did the Klingon turd say to the Romulan fart?
A. That last one really blew me away!

Q. What do Whovians call a stinky fart of unknown origin? A. Silence, but deadly!Q. Why did Captain Kirk visit the Romulan loo? A. To boldly go where no man has gone before!Q. What do you call a Doctor in the sewer? A. Doctor Poo!

Do Whovians call back farts from unidentified sources? Now we know what the call box is for.

Q. What is the sharpest thing in time and space?
A. A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole!

Q. What will you call a crappy Sci-fi sequel from the 1980s that really stinks in the future?
A. A blast from the past.

Q. What happens if you pull on Mr. Data's index finger?
A. He expels hydraulic pressure through a usually unnoticed orifice of his anatomy.

And, To Boldly Go Watch Star Trek Reruns!

Q. Why did Lieutenant Uhuru look so shocked?
A. Because William Shat-Near Her.

Captain Kirk: How close are we to the nearest Klingon outpost? (outhouse)
Chekov: Close enough to smell them, sir.
Spock: Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space.

Did Gene Roddenberry envision a future when sci-fi flicks feature 3-D smell-a-vision?

Q. What did Flatulence of Borg say before assimilating his victims?
A. Prepare to pull my finger.

Sci-Fi Toilet Point to Ponder: Seriously, Can The Doctor even get cell service in the sewer?

Q. Why do British plumbers appreciate Daleks?
A. Because Daleks of the Who-niverse know how optimally to use a sink plunger.

A quote from an honorary Dr. Poo:
You can take the man out of the sewer, but you can't take the sewer out of the man.
– Trixie Norton

Is this quote a covert Dr. Who loo joke?
Q. Who are you and what are you doing here?
A. I was told there was a crack in the wall.

Q. What do you call Clark Kent with diarrhea? A. Pooperman!Q. What would you expect to find in Superman's bathroom? A. The Superbowl!Q. How can you tell if a woman is wearing panty hose? A. If she farts, her ankles swell up!

Whoa! Now we finally know exactly how kryptonite cripples Superman!

Another Wise Yoda Quote: Do or not do. There is no try at toilet.

Q. How did Darth Vader know the force is strong with this one?
A. He smelled the loo from long ago and far away.

Q. What did the Klingon priest yell before he flushed the toilet?
A. Holy Crap!

Q. What do you call a 12-inch turd on the Planet Krypton?
A. A foot stool!

You know, krytonite must really smell super bad, plus it glows green? Ew!

Q. What does a Jedi use to wash his hands?
A. The Forcet.

Q. What is the difference between a car and toilet paper?
A. It's perfectly okay to buy a used car.

Shitty Star Wars Trivia: Now we know how a man and his Wookiee always sniff out the hot babes!

Star Trek Evacuation Advice: Never buy cheap toilet paper so that you aren't stuck in the bathroom battling Klingons.

Q. Why won't the Star Trek Enterprise replicator cook up refried beans topped with onions?
A. Because the replicator is programmed not to produce harmful agents, farts, or toxic tear gas!

Q. Why doesn't Superman have may friends? A. Because he wears his underwear over his pants!Q. What's big and brown and behind the wall? A. Humpty's Dump!Q. Why did Batman go to the men's room? A. Because he's Bathman!

True, but at least Superman wears underwear! Otherwise, he'd be known as Tuberman!

Q. Where does Superman park his privates?
A. On Lois Lane.

Q. What does Superman call a toxic turd?
A. Lex Luthor.

Q. How does Superman describe a super turd?
A. General Zod.

I was going to tell you a poop joke, but it's a real stinker sci-fi sequel release.

Q. How do natives spell Wookiee poop?
A. Kashyyyk.

Q. If a Wookiee shits in the woods, does it make a sound?
A. If you think the toot is bad, you outta smell it!

Did you know that the most heavily used Wookiee sound, the iconic Wookie roar, was inspired by a bear named, Pooh?

Q. What did Robin say to Batman when they finally found a box of tissues?
A. Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our nose and we almost blew it!

Q. Where does Batman go to do his duty?
A. The Batroom.

Batman Bathroom Point to Ponder: Why are Batman motif shower curtains so popular?

Sci-fi Point to Ponder: Does Comicon or Starfest have the most stellar restrooms?

| Science Fiction Humor | Star Trek Jokes | Star Wars Puns | Lost in Space Laughs | Aliens! |
| Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Superhero Loo | 2 | Plumber Jokes and Sewer Humor | Janitor Jokes
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, and #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
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| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Gas Station Jokes | Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns |
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| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

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