Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. A Little Shat!   PainfulPuns.com - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

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Q. Why did the volcano explode? A. It couldn't find a lava-tory!
Q. How do you get a tissue to dance? A. Put a little boogie in it!
I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had the biggest vowel movement ever today!
Q. Why did the superhero flush the toilet? A. It was his doody!

 


Bathroom Humor, Toilet Puns, Shitty Jokes
Go with the flow to flush out putrid potty puns, stinking funny toilet humor, and crappy loo jokes.

Toilet Jokes, Bathroom Humor, Crappy Puns
('Cause Shitty Toilet Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Funny Pee Puns May Make You Leak Laughter!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Peril! Urine for bathroom humor, lavatory laughs, John jokes and pisser puns.
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

Q. How are men like laxatives? A. Both can irritate the sh*t out of you!Crappy Pun: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!Have you seen the sequel, Diarrhea? It leaked, so they had to release it early!

Q. Why is there so much toilet paper in the US Capitol building?
A. Because there are so many assholes there!

Q. How do you describe running out of toilet paper when you have diarrhea?
A. A very bad shit-uation!

Q. Why is it so easy for plumbers in Holland to remove clogs?
A. They just kick back and remove their shoes.

Q. Why do some scientists have cameras on their toilets?
A. Because they want to see their pee HD.

Q. If you're American in the living room what are you in the bathroom?
A. European.

Q. Why won't blondes take their iPhones to the bathroom?
A. Because they don't want to give away their IP or iPU address!

Q. What is the definition of bravery and guts?
A. A guy with diarrhea chancing a fart.

Q. What happened to the guy who did a study on the minimal amount of toilet paper that can be used?
A. He had a real breakthrough.

Q. What did the shrink say to the guy who was compelled to use far too much toilet paper?
A. You are just being anal.

Q. What do you call a bathroom superhero? A. Flush Gordon!Q. How can you tell if a woman is wearing panty hose? A. If she farts, her ankles swell up!Crappy Pun: Old Sewage Workers Never Die, They Just Waste Away.

Q. What would you find in Superman's bathroom?
A. The Super Bowl!

Q. What slogan did the PR firm come up with to promote the new high tech toilet?
A. Seat Yourself.

Q. Are poop jokes the most popular toilet humor theme?
A. No, butt they are a solid #2!

Q. Why are men's farts louder than lady farts?
A. Because men have a microphone and two speakers.

Gassy Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, somebody farted, so lets get out of here, NOW!

Q. What do you name a pet cat that always eats beans?
A. Puss 'n Toots.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
– Mel Brooks

Q. Why did the plumber finally propose to his girlfriend?
A. He was ready to take the plunge.

Q. What kind of car did the superstitious man get to prevent constipation?
A. A BMW.

Q. What did one firefly say to another? A. You glow girl!Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget!On a scale of one to ten, urinate!

Q. What do you call a tiny arachnid with a nasty case of diarrhea?
A. An itsy shitsy spider.

Q. Why do pterodactyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl at night?
A. Because the P is silent.

Two little doo-dles sitting in a potty, one went down, but the other did notty. Time to call the plumber...

Q. Why did the contestant miss the word constipation at the spelling bee?
A. Because that shit was harder than he'd thought.

Q. Why should you never trust anyone with constipation?
A. Because they really are full of shit.

Q. What did the feces call the lies some turd told him?
A. Poop Fiction!

Urine it to win it?

Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off?

Q. What did the Urologist say to his honey on February 14?
A. Will you pee my Valentine?

Your kidney stone test came back. You didn't pass...

Q. Why did Batman flush the toilet? A. Because it was his duty!Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? A. Because the P is silent!Q. Why did Superman flush the toilet? A. It was his duty!

When you're climbing up a ladder, and you feel something splatter... Holy Crap! Diarrhea!

Q. What does a superstitious man say to prevent constipation when he sees a stray cat?
A. Skat!

Super Shitty Joke of the Day: Constipation is no laughing matter!

Q. What's it called when a big scary ghost poops in your toilet and doesn't flush?
A. A spooky dookie.

Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? They call it Franks and Beans.

Q. What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist?
A. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. OUCH!

Urology nurse slogan: Urine Good Hands!

Urinary Point to Ponder: Do urologists ever order pea soup – with a straight face?

When a cow in the sky drops a pie in your eye, that's amore? Wham! Smells like being a superhero isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Q. What do you call Clark Kent when he's got diarrhea?
A. Super Duper Pooper.

Bathroom Pick-Up Line: My love for you is just explosive diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.

Q. Is eating cow patties the miracle cure for human digestive ailments?
A. No. It's just a load of bullshit.

| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

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You're still in the loo, so urine for even more lavatory laughter,
john jokes,
ladies room humor and shitty painful puns you'll want to eliminate:

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