Q. Why is the new high tech toilet so popular?
A. Because it comes with 100s of downloadable books.

Q. What happens if your doctor diagnoses you with both anxiety and constipation?
A. You worry shitless.

Did you hear about the plumbers who went to Vegas to play some craps?

Q. What happened when the semi truck full of toilet paper crashed on the Interstate?
A. Police did not ticket the driver, saying he had a bum steer.

Q. What did the grumpy old man do about his constipation?
A. Nothing. He just stopped giving a shit.

Q. What do you call an eskimo's diarrhea?
A. A poopsicle.

Q. What do you call a funny toilet that does stand up comedy?
A. Commodian!

Q. What is the one thing you'll never see your plumber do?
A. Bite his nails!

Q. What did one butt cheek say to the other?
A. Oh gosh, that horrible smell is coming from the corridor.

Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? It's marketed under the name, Red Bull.

Q. Why did they stop manufacturing the extra strength Chuck Norris brand toilet paper?
A. Because it didn't take any shit from anybody!

Chuck Norris has inner beauty, and he has the colonoscopy video to prove it.

Q. Wanna hear Chuck Norris tell a dog poop joke?
A. Never mind. It really stinks...

Q. How do you keep a dog from pooping in your front yard?
A. Keep him in the backyard!

Q. How does a dung beetle make his house smell better?
A. With aromatic Poop-ourri!

Q. Which snack do dogs prefer while watching a crappy movie with their human?
A. Poop-corn.

Poop-ular Ad Slogan: Eat Shit! 'Cause trillions of flies cannot be wrong!

Seriously? Fairies need a toilet? Can't they just dust their sh*t down on any unsuspecting soul?

When you're up hootin' with the owls and you need to move your bowels, is the moment magical? I stink not!

Q. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG?
A. Inverted P Waves.

Q. What time does a rooster wake up and visit the outhouse?
A. At the crap of dawn.

When people hug you, fart really loudly. You'll make them feel very strong!

Why fart and waste, when you can burp and taste?

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Q. What happens when little toilet paper grows up big and strong?
A. It becomes a toilet-tree.

Q. When does Poison Ivy change her underwear?
A. When they get soiled.

Does Batman really guano know what Robin's been doing in the Batroom for the past hour?

Q. What kind of car does Batman drive instead of the Batmobile when he's got diarrhea?
A. A BMW.

Q. What is the opposite of urine?
A. You're out!

Q. What do you call two guys using the same urinal?
A. Peers.

Q. What do you call a person who picks plums?
A. A Plumber!

Q. What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A. A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.

Q. Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands?
A. Because he only deals with in-continent patients.

Q. What should you say after farting loudly in a public restroom?
A. Pardon me, I need to get that fixed.

What idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? Betting his name was Ed.

Q. What do you call a cheap circumsision?
A. A real rip-off.

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal?
A. Because that's where all the cocks hang out.

Q. What did the doctor say about using medical marijuana for constipation?
A. He said, "Shit, or get off the pot."

Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg...

May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me.

Q. What do you call a vegan with diarrhea?
A. A salad shooter.

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