Q. What did a hamburger say to another hamburger in the bathroom? A. I musturd!   PainfulPuns.com - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

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Q. What did the poo say to the fart? A. You glow me away!
Q. Why don't blondes take their phone into the bathroom? A. They don't want to share their IP address!
Q. Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? A. It got stuck in a crack!
Q. What do you get if you poop in your jeans? A. Dungarees!

 


Bathroom Humor, Crappy Puns, Toilet Jokes
Take a seat for crappy loo puns, malodorous bathroom humor, and toilet jokes that really stink.

Toilet Humor, Funny Bathroom Jokes, Potty Puns
(Because Turdy Toilet Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Loo Puns May Relieve You with Laughter!)
Warning: Proceed with Due Caution! Urine for shitty jokes, bathroom humor, and pungent puns ahead.
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil!Sh*tty Pun: I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me.Q. What is a toilet's favorite sport? A. Bowling!

Q. Why is the new high tech toilet so popular?
A. Because it comes with 100s of downloadable books.

Q. What happens if your doctor diagnoses you with both anxiety and constipation?
A. You worry shitless.

Did you hear about the plumbers who went to Vegas to play some craps?

Q. What happened when the semi truck full of toilet paper crashed on the Interstate?
A. Police did not ticket the driver, saying he had a bum steer.

Q. What did the grumpy old man do about his constipation?
A. Nothing. He just stopped giving a shit.

Q. What do you call an eskimo's diarrhea?
A. A poopsicle.

Q. What do you call a funny toilet that does stand up comedy?
A. Commodian!

Q. What is the one thing you'll never see your plumber do?
A. Bite his nails!

Q. What did one butt cheek say to the other?
A. Oh gosh, that horrible smell is coming from the corridor.

Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris have to flush the toilet? A. He scares the sh*t out of it!A Monkey Was Arrested for Throwing Rhesus Feces at the Patrons. He Was Charged with Turd Debris Assault.Q. What do you call a fairy using the toilet? A. Stinker Bell!

Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? It's marketed under the name, Red Bull.

Q. Why did they stop manufacturing the extra strength Chuck Norris brand toilet paper?
A. Because it didn't take any shit from anybody!

Chuck Norris has inner beauty, and he has the colonoscopy video to prove it.

Q. Wanna hear Chuck Norris tell a dog poop joke?
A. Never mind. It really stinks...

Q. How do you keep a dog from pooping in your front yard?
A. Keep him in the backyard!

Q. How does a dung beetle make his house smell better?
A. With aromatic Poop-ourri!

Q. Which snack do dogs prefer while watching a crappy movie with their human?
A. Poop-corn.

Poop-ular Ad Slogan: Eat Shit! 'Cause trillions of flies cannot be wrong!

Seriously? Fairies need a toilet? Can't they just dust their sh*t down on any unsuspecting soul?

When you're up hootin' with the owls and you need to move your bowels, is the moment magical? I stink not!

Q. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG?
A. Inverted P Waves.

Q. What time does a rooster wake up and visit the outhouse?
A. At the crap of dawn.

Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A. A Private Tutor!Q. Where does Batman go potty? A. In the bat room!Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. He was pissed off!

When people hug you, fart really loudly. You'll make them feel very strong!

Why fart and waste, when you can burp and taste?

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Q. What happens when little toilet paper grows up big and strong?
A. It becomes a toilet-tree.

Q. When does Poison Ivy change her underwear?
A. When they get soiled.

Does Batman really guano know what Robin's been doing in the Batroom for the past hour?

Q. What kind of car does Batman drive instead of the Batmobile when he's got diarrhea?
A. A BMW.

Q. What is the opposite of urine?
A. You're out!

Q. What do you call two guys using the same urinal?
A. Peers.

Q. What do you call a person who picks plums?
A. A Plumber!

Q. What do Whovians call a stinky fart of unknown origin? A. Silence, but deadly!Q. Why did elephants go to the mens room? A. They heard there were nuts there!Q. How do you know you're a pothead? A. You studied five days for a urine test!

Q. What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A. A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.

Q. Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands?
A. Because he only deals with in-continent patients.

Q. What should you say after farting loudly in a public restroom?
A. Pardon me, I need to get that fixed.

What idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? Betting his name was Ed.

Q. What do you call a cheap circumsision?
A. A real rip-off.

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal?
A. Because that's where all the cocks hang out.

Q. What did the doctor say about using medical marijuana for constipation?
A. He said, "Shit, or get off the pot."

Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg...

May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me.

Q. What do you call a vegan with diarrhea?
A. A salad shooter.

| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

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