Why don't we joke around about Ancient Aliens' George Noory?
A. Because that mustache alone is funny enough.
Which television series is the favorite of Martians and
A. Ancient Aliens.
Which cable TV channel is the favorite of space alien extraterrestrials,
junk men, and rednecks?
A. History Channel.
Which pseudo sci-fi television series worries the CIA the
A. Ancient Aliens Declassified.
Why aren't there any jokes about Ancient Aliens' David Wilcock?
A. Because comedy writers confuse him with David Spade.
Point to Ponder: Do LGM prefer Hatch chiles from New Mexico,
or Colorado's Pueblo chiles?
What is the difference between UFOs and honest politicians?
A. UFOs are actually a possibility.
Does Nick Pope personally know of aliens?
A. We can neither confirm nor deny that.
Why did Ancient Aliens cross the road?
A. To study all the rednecks and sleazy junk dealers on
the so-called History Channel.
Why do cryptic aliens like to create crop circles in Iowa
instead of on the White Hoiuse lawn?
A. Because they're corny.
Which tool do spaced out farmers need to create crop circles?
A. A pro-tractor!
How do Ancient Aliens fans greet each other at AlienCon?
A. They say: "Nanu, Nanu.The answers exist all
around us. We are not alone. We have never been alone."
Why are there no jokes about Jonathan Young, whose commentary
deepens our thinking and broadens our understnading while
contemplating Joseph Campbell's Great Myth?
A. Beecause Ancient Astronaut Theory is not just
a mere myth. (Not a joke!)
Which non-fiction galactic television series do space aliens
binge watch aboard UFOs?
A. Ancient Aliens. No joke!
What did NORAD do when a UFO flew from Roswell to Colorado
Springs in two seconds?
A. They listed it in the top secret Guiness Book
of Out-Of-This-World Records.
Why are Painful Ancient Aliens Puns so
A. Because they are out of this world!
How many aliens does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to abduct the bulb, and another to probe it.
Why are there so few funny UFO jokes out there?
A. Because they're over our heads!
What do aliens call weird technical bugs that occur on the
A. Luna Ticks!
What do you call an obsessed space alien hunter?
A. An Astro-Nut.