Q. What did Darth Vader say to the emperor at the Star Wars auction?
A. What is thy bidding, my master?

Q. What is the name of Darth Vader's taller sister?
A. Ella Vader.

Q. How do many nerdy Star Wars fans end up spending Valentine's Day?
A. Hans, Solo.

Q. Why do they only serve Stoli in a Jedi bar?
A. Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

Q. Why was Yoda such a great gardener?
A. He had a green thumb!

Q. What does Obi-Wan say at a rodeo?
A. Use the Horse, Luke!

Q. What does Yoda do when his iTunes won't respond?
A. Force Quit Siri, he does.

Q. Why did Han Solo complain to the waiter about the Rootleaf Stew he was served?
A. Not only was it chewie, but it was on the dark side.

Q. What did the Rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
A. Mmmm, a little chewie!

Q. What kind of car does a Wookiee drive?
A. A Furrari.

Q. Why will the role of Chewbacca be portrayed by the same actor in the next movie?
A. The director wants a veteran instead of a wookiee.

Q. What do you call a sick wookiee?
A. Ahchoo Bacca.

Q. Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?
A. Because he couldn't find the droid he was looking for.

Q. Which Star Wars droid is helpful to have around from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.?
A. R2Tea2.

Q. Which programming language is used to program droids in Star Wars?
A. JawaScript.

Q. Why do Wookiees have so much hair?
A. Fur protection!

Q. Who is gay Bigfoot's favorite Star Trek character?
A. Worf. And, he finds all Star Wars Wookiees hot, too!

Q. What did a regretful wookiee's girlfriend say after she broke up with him?
A. I want Chewbacca!

Q. What is Darth Vader's stage name when he plays his electric piano?
A. The Synth Lord.

Q. If Darth Vader was a Disney character, what song would he sing?
A. When You Wish Upon a Death Star

Q. Why does Darth Vader like Film Noir?
A. Because it's always on the dark side.

Q. What do you say to a Wampa during the holidays.
A. Merry Hoth-mas.

Q. What does a Secret Santa give a kid who is obsessed by NASCAR and Star Wars?
A. A toy Yoda.

Star Wars Poem of the Day: Roses are red, violets are blue, if you've got Leia in your head, may the Force be with you.

Q. What did the wookiee say when he sat on sand paper?
A. Ruff.

Q. Which baseball position does Yoda play?
A. Short Stop.

Q. What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?
A. Do well you will do!

Q. Which Jedi master strictly limited his desserts?
A. Only One Cannoli.

Q. What does Luke Skywalker say about a burned out bulb?
A. Why would I a need a light bulb if I have a lightsaber?

Q. What do you call a Sith who is afraid to fight?
A. A Big Sithy.

Did you hear about the Stormtrooper who was thrown into a lake? He sank like a clone.

Q. How did young Darth Vader speed eat through his mask?
A. He was Force fed.

Q. What is it called when two suns fight each other?
A. Star Wars.

Q. When does a woman become a Jedi?
A. When she's good and Reydy.

Yoda's Star Wars Wisdom of the Day: If at first you don't succeed, get a lightsaber and try again!

Q. How did Luke Skywalker travel around on the moon of Endor?
A. Ewoked.

Q. How do you spot a Redneck Jedi at a bar?
A. He's the one who opened his bottle of Bud Light with a lightsaber.

Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
A. He felt his presents!

Q. What does the Jedi Council do on Thanksgiving Day?
A. They watch the Mace's Thanksgiving Parade.

Q. Which kind of motor oil does Darth Vader use while tooling around the streets of Denver on vacation?
A. Sithetic.

Q. How can you spot a Redneck Jedi?
A. He's wearing a camouflage print robe.

Q. In Star Wars, why did episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3?
A. Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

Q. Why is Chewbacca considered a true pro?
A. 'Cause he never makes wookiee mistakes.

Q. Which tell-all book is about the powers behind Star Wars?
A. The Force by Jed I. Nite.

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