Blonde Borgs Have Same Fu! - Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Groaners, Ouch!

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7 of 9 Borg Jokes Are Not Funny!
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Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. The Captain's Log!
Data Asks: Have you rea the book, The Positronic Brain? It's by Anne Droid!
If Mr Spock has pointy ears, what does Mr Scott have? A. Engineers!


Star Trek Humor, TOS Jokes, TNG Puns
Seek out new life Trekkie humor, Next Generation puns, Voyager LOLs and Original Series jokes.

Star Trek Jokes and Starship Enterprise Humor
(Because Star Trek Jokes Are NOT Mainstream Enough for Captain Kirk, Doc McCoy, Data or Mr. Worf!)
Warning: Proceed Back to Enterprise-D and Trekker Jokes With Due Caution! Beam Me Up, Scotty! Make It So!
| Star Trek Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Spock Puns and Vulcan Jokes | 2 | Trekkie Jokes |
| Star Trek The Original Series Jokes and TOS Puns | 2 | 3 | Starship Enterprise Captain Jokes |
| Star Trek TNG Jokes | 2 | 3 | Klingon Puns | The Borg Jokes | Ladies of Star Trek Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Cyborg Jokes, Android Puns | Sci-Fi Robot Jokes | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

Captain Kirk Says: Boldly Go Watch Star Trek Reruns!There are three ways to do something: The right way, the wrong way, and the Janeway!McCoy Says: Doctor's orders, Jim. Be a vulcan in the streets and a Klingon in the sheets!

McCoy to Captain Kirk: Should we have a friendly game of cards?
Kirk: No, let's play poker.

Star Trek Trivia: Captain Kirk seldoms laughs, but when he does, it involves Romulan ale.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. When you find yourself in a sticky situation, you say, "Scotty, Beam Me Up!"

Q. What did the Enterprise replicator say to Captain Kirk when he ordered coffee?
A. Beam me up, biscotti!

Q. Why is Janeway the most effective Star Trek captain?
A. Voyager needed a woman captain because a male captain would never admit they were lost and ask for directions!

Q. How do you know you're a Star Trekking Trekkie?
A. You think Captain Janeway is sexier than Princess Leia.

Q. Who is Bigfoot's favorite Star Trek character?
A. B'Elanna Torres. And, he finds all Klingon babes really hot, too!

Q. What did Leonard McCoy say after he re-inserted Spock's brain into his head?
A. "I should never have reconnected his mouth."

Bones: I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You'd let Nurse Chaple give you oo-mox, even if you're not Ferrengi.

Q. How can your mate tell you were a serious Deep Space Nine fan?
A. Your partner initiates foreplay, and you ask for OO-MOX.

Q. How many Borgs does it take to change a light bulb? A. All of them!Q. How are the Enterprise and toilet paper alike? A. Both circle Uranus wiping out Klings!Why did the chicken cross the road? Why is a barnyard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous? – Mr. Data

Q. What do the Borg say while replacing a light bulb?
A. We are the Borg. Resistance = voltage / current.

Q. What message, etched in stone, did Moses of Borg convey?
A. Actually, there were 11 commandments, with the 11th being: Thou are assimilated, my good man. Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.

Q. What might you expect if you order a Borg starter kit?
A. Some assimilation required.

Star Trek Evacuation Advice: Never buy cheap toilet paper so that you aren't stuck in the bathroom battling Klingons.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You've already Googled the Ultra 2-Ply Web for more Uranus jokes.

Q. How fast can Klingons run?
A. At Worf speed!

Q. Why aren't Romulan bathrooms malodorous?
A. They use cloaking devices! (Plus, they put the seat down.)

Q. Why did the chewing gum cross the road in TOS Episode 29?
A. Because it was stuck on Data's boot.

Q. Why did Data's cat cross the road?
A. Spot wanted to chase the chickens on the other side.

Q. How did Commander Data describe the Borg?
A. Cool, calm, and collective.

Q. What did Flatulence of Borg say before assimilating his victims?
A. Prepare to pull my finger.

Q. Why did Worf change his hair color? A. It was a good day to dye!Q. What is Will Riker's dating philosophy? A. If at first you don't succeed, Troi again!Q. What is Captain Picard's biggest pet peeve? A. When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folger's crystals!

Q. What is a cartoon Klingon's favorite convenience store?
A. The Quark-E Mart!

Q. Who is Bigfoot's favorite Star Trek character?
A. B'Elanna Torres. And, he finds all Klingon babes really hot, too!

Q. How can you tell if a Klingon warrior has true honor?
A. After the blood wine is rolled out, he's always the designated driver.

Q. Why did Riker's trombone-playing chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide!

Q. Why did Riker's chicken only cross the road half way?
A. Because he wanted her to lay it on the line for the Enterprise crew.

Q. What did the sci-fi fan say to his girlfriend who didn't like Star Trek Next Generation?
A. I'm breaking up with you because I need space.

Q. Why is Kirk a better captain than Picard?
A. Because of all the toupee jokes.

Star Trek Face Palm of the Day: Why is Patrick Stewart the voice of National Rent-A-Car and not Enterprise?

Q. What is the favorite poem aboard Star Trek Enterprise NCC-1701-D?
A. An Ode to Spot.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You can curse in Klingon, Gorn, and Horta.

Spock: Sniveling is illogical. Dr. Smith: Unhand me, you mechanical moron!Q. What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? A. A croaking device!Spock: It is illogical to be lost in space. Smith: I'm a doctor, not a space explorer!

Q. What would Mr. Spock say to Dr. Smith?
A. I am NOT Dr. Spock!

Q. What did Spock say when he finally got the joke's punch line?
A. Wanting is a better feeling than having.

Q. Which sci-fi television series do Vulcans binge watch to ward off Pon Farr?
A. Star Trek, TOS.

Q. How many Star Fleet officers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. The Prime Directive won't allow that sort of interference with the light bulb's natural evolution.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. After drinking Romulan ale, you can belch in Vulcan, Klingon, and Romulan without using a universal translator.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You can detect cloaked Romulan vessles as easily as you can find Waldo.

Q. What is a Klingon's favorite shoe store?
A. Pah-less.

Q. How many Romulans does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. 101. One to change the bulb, and a hundred to self-destruct the ship in disgrace.

Q. What might Spock have said to Zachary Smith?
A. Madness has no purpose or reason, but it may have a goal.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You can dis in a grammatically correct manner without using any contractions.

Q. Why did Mr. Scott purchase a sub-lightspeed engine for the Enterprise?
A. It was an impulse buy.

Q. Why won't Chewbacca ever go to a Star Trek convention?
A. He hates being called a Fur-engi.

| Star Trek Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Spock Puns | 2 | Star Trek TOS Puns | 2 | 3 | Klingon Puns |
| Star Trek TNG Jokes | 2 | 3 | The Borg Jokes | Enterprise Captains | Ladies of Star Trek Jokes |
| Lost in Space Jokes | Space Bar Jokes | Science Fiction Food Jokes | 2 | 3 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Dr Who Jokes, Tardis Puns, Whovian Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cyberman Jokes | Dalek Puns |
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| ET Alien Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Green Spaced Alien Puns | Cows In Space Jokes | Outer Space |
| Science Fiction Doctor Jokes | 2 | Sci-Fi Cross the Road Jokes | 2 | Sci-Fi Light Bulb Jokes | 2 |

| Cyborg Jokes, Android Puns | Sci-Fi Robot Jokes | Science Fiction Jokes | Sci-Fi Pick Up Lines |

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