Q. Where do Klingons shop for towels, small home appliances, and weapons?
A. Bed Bat'leth and Beyond.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You bring Klingon side dishes to pot luck gatherings.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your father looks a lot like a Klingon!

Q. How many members of the Q Continuum does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Change it to what?

Q. Why is Kirk a better captain than Picard?
A. Because of all the toupee jokes.

Star Trek face palm of the day: Why is Patrick Stewart the voice of National Rent-A-Car and not Enterprise?

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. When you put the key in the ignition, you say, "Engage!"

Q. How many Tammarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Darmock, cast into darkness. Temba, his arms wide open. Bring on the light of day.

Q. What does Captain Picard say when he's working out at the gym?
A. Who needs phasers when you have guns like these?

Q. What advice did Captain Sisko give to Captain Picard?
A. It's not the size of your Data, it's how you use it.

Q. How many members of the Q Continuum does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one. He holds the light bulb and the entire universe rotates around him.

Q. What do the Borg say while replacing a light bulb?
A. We are the Borg. Resistance = voltage / current.

Q. What did Shakespeare say after he was assimilated by the Borg?
A. Thou are assimilated, my good man. Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.

Q. What message, etched in stone, did Moses of Borg convey?
A. It was the missing 11th commandment: Thou are assimilated, my good man. Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.

Q. What happens if you pull on Mr. Data's index finger?
A. He expels hydraulic pressure through a usually unnoticed orifice of his anatomy.

Q. Which cell phone plan does Dr. Noonien Soong use?
A. The one with unlimited Data.

Mr. Data Point to Ponder: Why don't Android users use emojis?

Q. What did Data say during the Borg attack?
A. Resistance is NOT futile. It is voltage divided by current!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You only speak Klingon when you accidentally answer a robo call.

Q. How can your mate tell you were a serious Deep Space Nine fan?
A. Your partner initiates foreplay, and you ask for OO-MOX.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You know the difference between Warp, Transwarp, and Slipstream drives. Duh!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You knew this joke's punch line in Klingon, Cardassian, and Ferrengi!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. After drinking Romulan ale, you can belch in Vulcan, Klingon, and Romulan without using a universal translator.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You can detect cloaked Romulan vessles as easily as you can find Waldo.

Q. How many Pakleds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. They need Geordi. Geordi is smart.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because her starship was assimilated by the Borg.

Q. Why did Riker's chicken only cross the road half way?
A. Because he wanted her to lay it on the line for the Enterprise crew.

Q. Why did Commander Data cross the road?
A. He wanted to see why that would be considered humorous.

Q. Computer, What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
A. Poultry in motion!

Q. Why didn't the transporter malfunction chicken clones cross the road?
A. Insufficient Information!

Q. Why did Doctor Crusher cross the road for one season and then return?
A. Because Wesley was just too irritating and needed a good Pulaski.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. When you hear somebody say, "He's an enterprising young man," you look for his com badge.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You're hoping your toddlers can use their college fund to go to Starfleet Academy.

Q. What did the sci-fi fan say to his girlfriend who didn't like Star Trek Next Generation?
A. I'm breaking up with you because I need space.

Worf is rooting for Denver to Klingon to the ball more. Go Broncos!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You shout, "Ka Plah!" when the Broncos score and taunt the other team by saying, "Raiders, today is a good day to die!"

Q. How do you know you're a bona fide Trekker?
A. When you lose your temper, you swear at that petaQ in Klingon!

Q. Where could you find wolves on the starship Enterprise NcC-1701-D?
A. On the howl-o-deck.

Q. Why was Sisko a better captain than Picard?
A. When confronted by Q, he smacked him in the mouth and never had problems with the Q Continuum again!

Q. Why is Kirk a better captain than Picard?
A. Captain Kirk's bridge is not beige.

Q. While jumping through time, how did Captain Picard ask Dr. Crusher to marry him?
A. Engage! Make it so!

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