Q. Which magician performs his big act using a call box?
A. Doctor Whoudini.

Doctor Who Pick-Up Line: Every time I regenerate, my Tardis gets bigger!

A guy ended up at a party full of World Heath Organization medics. Obviously he was at the wrong Doctor Who convention.

Q. Why are there so few funny Doctor Who jokes?
A. There are, but the Silence makes you forget them all.

Doctor Who Pick-Up Line: You make my centurion stand at attention.

Q. Why did the skeleton chicken cross the Star Trek road?
A. She heard Bones McCoy was on the other side!

When Dr. McCoy finished his examination of Scotty, he said, "I can't find any reason for your stomach pains. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking." Mr. Scott replied, "In that case, I'll come back when you're sober."

Q. Why was the guy dressed as a Star Trek doctor booted out of the Sci-Fi convention?
A. Because he wasn't the real McCoy.

Q. What did the Jedi knight say to his proctologist?
A. These are not the 'roids you're looking for!

Q. What's the greasiest insult Dr. Smith ever slid toward the robot?
A. Unctuous Underling.

Q. What did Doctor Smith say after Will Robinson said he broke his leg in two places?
A. Stop going to those places!

Q. What do you call a sick wookiee?
A. Ahchoo Bacca.

Q. What does Doctor Who call a stinky fart of unknown origin?
A. Silence, but deadly.

Q. When is the best time to binge watch Doctor Who reruns?
A. When isn't it?

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You insist on calling your doctor "Bones." Or, you called your vet "Bones" and the name stuck!

McCoy Quote of the Day: He's dead, Jim. You take his wallet and I'll take his tricorder.

UFO researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far...

Q. Why are there so few good Doctor Who puns?
A. Because Cybermen keep deleting the jokes with good timing.

Q. Why do young Dr. Seuss fans grow up to be Time Lord fans?
A. Because they already know about Whoville.

Doctor Who Pick-Up Line: Are you a Tardis? 'Cause when I look into your eyes I feel like I'm flying around the universe.

Q. What did Leonard McCoy say after he re-inserted Spock's brain into his head?
A. I should never have reconnected his mouth.

Doctor McCoy: Do you serve crabs here?
Enterprise mess officer: Yes sir. Please have a seat.

Doctor McCoy, While Thinking About Nancy: I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.

Dr. Zachary Smith Quote: It's the world behind the world, Dr. Robinson. Lie once, cheat twice, and everything becomes clear.

Q. What might Dr. Zachary Smith of Borg say?
A. Resistance is futile, you bubble-headed boob!

Q. While jumping through time, how did Captain Picard ask Dr. Crusher to marry him?
A. Engage! Make it so!

Doc McCoy: I've borrowed Scott's bagpipes.
Kirk: But you can't play them.
Doc McCoy: While I've got them, neither can he.

Doctor Smith tells an alien he has a bad heart. The space alien says, "I want a second opinion." So, the Zachary Smith says, "You're ugly, too."

Q. What does Leonard McCoy call it when there's a sexy scene in the Enterprise sick bay?
A. Science Friction.

Q. What did the Jedi veterinarian say to the sheep?
A. May the Force Be with Ewe!

Hikaru Sulu: Doc, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Doctor McCoy: Next time, take the candles off.

Q. What did Counselor Deanna Troi say to the EMH?
A. Doctor, you're projecting again.

Q. What time did Doctor Who go to the dentist?
A. Tooth Hurty!

Q. Where does The Doctor go fishing?
A. Amy Pond.

Q. Why don't Americans understand Doctor Who jokes?
A. Because they're in English!

Q. Why is Doctor Who such a terrible procrastinator?
A. 'Cause he leaves everything for earlier.

Q. What do you call a hot blonde time traveler who's late?
A. Pregnant. Duh!

Q. Why are there so few good Doctor Who jokes?
A. Because Daleks are making them up now.

Q. Why do fans just eat up Doctor Who jokes?
A. Because they're Dalek-table.

Q. What advice did Dr. Smith give to Will Robinson?
A. There are monsters everywhere... I know, I am one!

Q. Why are there so few Dr. Smith jokes?
A. Because they're all Lost In Space!

Q. What's the most tintinnabulating thing Dr. Smith called the robot?
A. Traitorous Tin Tabulation.

Q. Which cell phone plan does Dr. Noonien Soong use?
A. The one with unlimited Data.

Q. Why do fans of The Doctor laugh at time travel puns?
A. Because they're Whomorous.

Q. What is Doctor Who's favorite quick and toasty breakfast food?
A. Pop-Tardis.

Doctor Who Point to Ponder: When Cybermen have sex, do they say, "Imput, imput, imput?"

Doctor Who Point to Ponder: Does a pregnant Cyberman say "processing" for nine months?

Q. What did Dr. McCoy mumble when he finally went through the time portal gate on Guardian of Forever?
A. You're all the same. In one era and out the other.

Q. How many Enterprise doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Damn it Jim. I'm a doctor, not an electrician!

Q. What did Bones McCoy say when Captain Kirk asked him why the chicken crossed the road?
A. Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a farmer.

Q. How many sci-fi doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 0. That's what cyborgs are for.

Q. What did Bones McCoy say about the burned out light bulb?
A. It's dead, Jim!

Nurse: How is the guy who was addicted to time travel doing currently?
Shrink: That's all in the past now.

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