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Cow Says: My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg!
Captain Kirk Says: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!
Q. Why was Star Trek so successful? A. It had good Genes!
Captain Picard Says: We have engaged the borg. The wedding is in two hours!
Why did the chicken cross the road? I knew it was going to happen! I could sense it! – Deanna Troi

 


Star Trek Humor and Enterprise Crew Jokes
Voyage along with Starship Enterprise jokes, spaced out humor, and illogical alien puns.

Star Trek Jokes, TOS Humor, TNG Puns
(Because Insufficient Information Is TOO Mainstream for Bold Trekkies and Red Shirt Trekkers on a Mission!)
Warning: Proceed With Caution! Be Reddy to go where no Red Shirt has gone before. Today is a good day to die!
| Star Trek Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Spock Puns and Vulcan Jokes | 2 | Trekkie Jokes |
| Star Trek The Original Series Jokes and TOS Puns | 2 | 3 | Starship Enterprise Captain Jokes |
| Star Trek TNG Jokes | 2 | 3 | Klingon Puns | The Borg Jokes | Ladies of Star Trek Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Sci-Fi Cross the Road Jokes | Sci-Fi Light Bulb Jokes |

Data Asks: Have you rea the book, The Positronic Brain? It's by Anne Droid!Red Shirts to Kirk: Yes Sir. We're reddy!Star Trek Humor: Why did the chicken cross the road? Insufficient Information! – Computer

Mr. Data: Perhaps this meme was not funny?

Q. What is the fastest network in the Alpha Quandrant?
A. The Romu-LAN.

Lore: I was the first Android with unlimited Data!

Q. What is the name of the online forum where Trekkie authors go to debate?
A. Prose and Khans.

Q. How many Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None of your business, huuu-mahn!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You will NOT wear a red shirt!

Q. Why didn't the Enterprise's red shirt chicken cross the road?
A. She had a few clucked-up lines in upcoming episodes.

Q. Which red shirt is a good loser?
A. The junior officer playing 3-D chess with his captain.

Q. Why did Scott Bakula cross the road?
A. Because the first Warp 5 Enterprise started out with the hottest starship captain of them all.

Q. Computer, What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
A. Poultry in motion!

Q. Why didn't the transporter malfunction chicken clones cross the road?
A. Insufficient Information!

Q. Why did the Ferengi cross the road?
A. He heard there was good oo-mox on the other side.

Q. What technique does the crew of the Enterprise use to get their luggage to their hotel rooms?
A. They tip a tele porter.

The Borg assimilated my henhouse and all I got was this lousy occular implant!7 of 9 Borg Jokes Are Not Funny!Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. A Little Shat!

Q. What did one Borg say to another when right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one?
A. Hoisted by our own Picard...

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because her starship was being assimilated by Locutus of Borg.

Q. What did Locutus of Borg say at the bar?
A. The name is Borg, James Borg. Gin and vodka martini, shaken; the olive is irrelevant!

Q. What do you call it when two Star Trek science officers have an argument?
A. Science Friction!

Q. Why shouldn't you try to date Seven of Nine?
A. Because her response to, "Was it good for you?" is always: "Pleasure is irrelevant."

Q. Why should you think twice about marrying Seven of Nine?
A. The Borg can't cook!

Q. Why do crappy golfers prefer Star Trek Voyager?
A. Because it's always way off course, too.

Hive Mentality Groan of the Day: I am Heisenborg. You will probably be assimilated.

In Star Trek, there is no such thing as a little Shat!

Q. Which part of a sci-fi space trilogy is always a real stinker?
A. Da Turd Part!

Q. Why did Captain Kirk discontinue his line of women's undies?
A. 'Cause in hindsight, the name Shatner Panties wasn't the best way to go.

Q. What did Uhura say when the Enterprise was being hit by a storm of icy asteroids?
A. Captain, we're being hailed!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Obviously, it was the logical thing to do! – Mr SpockQ. What do Klingons do with the dead light bulb? A. Execute it for failure!Why did Nancy find Doctor McCoy so attractive? A. He had great Bones structure

Q. Why did the Vulcan rooster cross the road?
A. Because there were Pon Farr chickens on the other side!

Q. Why did the red shirt cross the road?
A. He heard there were a lot of chicks on the other side.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You've accidentally closed a job search cover letter saying, "Live Long and Prosper."

Q. What do Klingons feed their pet Warriguls (monster dogs)?
A. Tribbles and Bits

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your dog's name is Worf.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. A coworker says, "Good Morning," and you reply, "Ka Plah!"

Q. What did the Klingon say to the shuttle craft pilot?
A. Today is a good day to fly!

Doc McCoy: I've borrowed Scott's bagpipes.
Kirk: But you can't play them.
Doc McCoy: While I've got them, neither can he.

Doctor McCoy tells an Enterprise crewman he has a bad heart. The crewman says, "I want a second opinion." So, Bones says, "You're ugly, too."

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. Your dog's name is McCoy, and he likes Bones!

Spock: It is illogical to be lost in space. Smith: A boy of your intelligence should never swear. Oh Sh*t!Why did the chicken cross the road? For the honor of all chickens! – Mr WorfQ. How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb? A. Approximately 1,0000000000000000!

Q. What didn't Mr. Spock say to Doctor McCoy?
A. Perhaps we would have more power if Engineer Scott connected your mouth to a generator, Doctor.

Trekkie Point to Ponder: Since Gene Roddenberry showed us one possible future, can you call him a televisionary?

Q. Why don't lifelong Star Trek TOS fans ever grow out of it?
A. Because that's illogical.

Q. Why did Odo cross the road?
A. He's looking for DS9 reruns on BBC America or MeTV.

Q. Why did the Klingon hen cross the road?
A. To prove she wasn't a PetaQ chicken and for the Qapla!

Q. Why didn't the avian droid just fly cross the road?
A. Because it was programmed by a chicken.

Q. How can you tell an old Klingon warrior no longer has honor?
A. He uses a Nerf bat'leth.

Q. Why did Dax cross the road post DS9?
A. Because, old man, she got a role on Becker.

Q. What does Mr. Spock say to Kirk when the crew changed the light bulb on the first try?
A. You almost make me believe in luck.

Q. How many holodeck characters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Holodeck characters only live as long as the light bulb does.

Q. How many crewmen aboard Star Trek Voyager are capable of changing a light bulb?
A. Seven of Nine.

Q. How many Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb?
A. For the right price, as many as you want.

| Star Trek Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Spock Puns | 2 | Star Trek TOS Puns | 2 | 3 | Klingon Puns |
| Star Trek TNG Jokes | 2 | 3 | The Borg Jokes | Enterprise Captains | Ladies of Star Trek Jokes |
| Lost in Space Jokes | Space Bar Jokes | Science Fiction Food Jokes | 2 | 3 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Dr Who Jokes, Tardis Puns, Whovian Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cyberman Jokes | Dalek Puns |
| Star Wars Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Darth Vader Dark Side Humor | Wookiee Puns | Yoda Jokes |
| ET Alien Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Green Spaced Alien Puns | Cows In Space Jokes | Outer Space |
| Science Fiction Doctor Jokes | 2 | Sci-Fi Cross the Road Jokes | 2 | Sci-Fi Light Bulb Jokes | 2 |

| Science Fiction Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Sci-Fi Pick Up Lines |

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