Sea Creature Jokes, Crab Puns, Oyster Humor 3

Crab Jokes, Sea Snail Puns, Lobster Humor
('Cause Shell-ibate Jokes and Shrimp-Possible Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Boysters and Coystwrs!)

Q. How do snails fight? A. They slug it out!

Q. How do shellfish get to the hospital? A. In a clambulance!

Q. What do you call teams of eels who try to electrocute each other? A. A sucker match!

Q. Why aren't there any French delicacies in Davy Jones' locker?
A. Because dead men sell no snails.

Q. Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot?
A. Snails are not fast food and nobody's got slime for that!

Q. What' does a lobster do during a dangerous ocean event?
A. Shell-ter in place.

Q. What happened when the Boston fisherman's wife fell overboard?
A. A giant clam chowed her.

Q. Why does the anxious dyslexic guy keep pet shellfish?
A. He says it clams him down.

Q. What did the clever bi-valve mollusk philosopher say?
A. I think, therefore I clam.

Q. What kind of photos do crabs and lobsters take?
A. Shellfies.

Q. Why did the lobster become a runway fashion model?
A. She had one shell of a good body.

Q. What do you call a crab that refrains from sexual relations?
A. Shell-ibate.

Q. How does a lobster answer the phone? A. Shello!

Q. What do you get if you cross an owl and an oyster? A. Pearls of Wisdom!

Q. Did you hear about the crab who partied at a seafood disco? A. He pulled a mussel!

Q. Which shellfish goes around pruning seaweed and coral reefs?
A. The lopster.

Q. What kind of car do prawns drive?
A. Shrimports.

Q. Where do shrimp athletes compete?
A. In the pee wee league.

Q. Which shrimp was buried in tulips with his ukuleele?
A. Tiny Tim.

Q. What do you call a female clam that's shyly alluring?
A. Coyster.

Q. How do you describe a horny oyster?
A. Clamorous.

Q. What is a male clam called?
A. Boyster.

Q. What do marine biologists call it when a group of clams start fidgeting around?
A. Oy stir.

Q. Which kind of motor vehicles do shellfish like best?
A. Mussel cars.

Q. Why was the shellfish sad?
A. 'Cause he couldn't find a date for the high school prawn.

Q. How hearty do hermit crabs party?
A. They have a shell of a good time.

Q. Where do grouchy shellfish go when they die?
A. Into the crabyss.

Q. What do oysters find disturbing? A. Noisy noise annoys an oyster!

Q. What sort of animal is a slug? A. A homeless snail!

Q. What does a llobster do if it loses its tail? A. It goes to a retail store!

Q. What happens when a shellfish yells, "Mum's the word?"
A. Everybody clams up.

Q. Which sea creature always comes up with cunning plans?
A. The ployster.

Q. Who is the ruler of the royal shellfish realm?
A. The roi-ster.

Q. What is a slug aboard an air craft carrier called?
A. A snailor.

Customer: Waiter, there's a small slug in this salad.
Waiter: Sorry sir, would you like me to get you a larger one?

Q. What is a slow bullet called?
A. A slug.

Q. What's the name of the new ocean business run by shellfish?
A. The Lob Store.

Q. How are a dirty mass transit depot and a lobster with breast implants different?
A. One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean.

Q. What is the capitol city of the land of lobsters and crabs?
A. Shelton.

Q. What kind of horse enjoys swimming underwater? A. A seahorse!

Q. What do you get if you cross a teacher and a crab? A. Snappy answers!

Q. Where does seaweed look for a job? A. In the kelp-wanted ads!

Q. What are female seahorses called?
A. Sea Hers.

Q. Why couldn't anybody hear what the ocean creature was saying?
A. 'Cause he was a little sea hoarse.

Q. What does a sea horse use for spending money?
A. Sand dollars.

Q. What do you get if you cross a sea scallop with rabbits?
A. Sea hares.

Q. What do shellfish call the most famous clam in the sea?
A. Oy star.

Q. What is it called when oysters shout loudly and intensely when a black pearl is found?
A. Clamoring.

Q. What sort of punishmnt might a bratty young crab receive?
A. A good shellac-ing.

Q. Why don't king crabs use varnish?
A. 'Cause they prefer shellac.

Q. Which company do hermit crabs go to for homeowner's insurance?
A. Shell-ter.

Q. What is the most popular name for a pet hermit crab?
A. Shelley.

Q. What do you get if you cross a lion with an Oscar fish?
A. A maul-osc.

Spineless Sea Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, some call me Portuguese man-of-war, but I'm just the jellyfish of love.

Q. How does a crab answer the phone? A. Shello! Is it meat you're looking for?

Q. Did you hear about the sea sponge that could talk? A. Too bad it was so self-absorbed!

Q. Why don't crabs celebrate Christmas? A. Because they're shellfish!

Q. What is it called when an oyster has a strong desire to achieve greatness?
A. Clambition

Q. How do you sucker punch a shellfish?
A. Smack him in the crabdomen.

Q. How do you descrie a shellfish wearing a top hat and spats?
A. Crabsurd.

Q. Where do shellfish musicians like to perform?
A. At the clamphitheather.

Q. What did vegans get when they crossed a clam with fava beans?
A. Soysters.

Q. What kind of bullets do oyster bank robbers s use?
A. Clammo.

Q. Who brings presents to good little lobsters at Christmas time?
A. Sandy Claws.

Q. What do you get if you cross a shelllfish with a chicken?
A. A shrimp peckable creature .

Q. Why can't you cross a prawn with a rook?
A. 'Cause that's shrimpossible.

You're still catching big grins, so here's even more claw-some laughter,
shelly jokes, salty humor and shrimp-possible painful puns to tide you over:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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