Q. What do you call a mollusk on a ship? A. A Snailer!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. Are shellfish hot? A. No, they're clammy!
Q. Why wouldn't the shrimp share the ocean bounty? A. It was a little shellfish!

Q. What kind of gas do snails prefer? A. Shell!
Q. What do you get if you cross a phone and a lobster? A. Snappy talk!


Sea Creature Jokes, Oyster Humor, Clam Puns
Catch up on clamorous oy star puns, shellfish LOLs, crabsurd humor and mussel car jokes.

Crab Jokes, Sea Snail Puns, Lobster Humor
('Cause Shell-ibate Jokes and Shrimp-Possible Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Boysters and Coystwrs!)
Warning: Proceed with Claw-tion! Oyster jokes, shail humor, shellfie LOLs and shell of a good body puns ahead.
| Sea Creature Jokes, Shellfsh Puns, Lobster LOLs, Crab Grins | 3 | Octopus Jokes, Squid Puns |
| Dolphin Jokes, Porpoise Puns | Whale Jokes | Marine Mammal Jokes, Deep Sea Animal Humor |
| Fish Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Shark Jokes | 2 | Finny Fish Puns | Tropical Fish Jokes, Aquarium Puns |
| Fisherman Jokes, Sport Fishing Puns | High Seas Humor | Maritime Laughs | Seafood Jokes |

Q. How do snails fight? A. They slug it out!Q. How do shellfish get to the hospital? A. In a clambulance!Q. What do you call teams of eels who try to electrocute each other? A. A sucker match!

Q. Why aren't there any French delicacies in Davy Jones' locker?
A. Because dead men sell no snails.

Q. Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot?
A. Snails are not fast food and nobody's got slime for that!

Q. What' does a lobster do during a dangerous ocean event?
A. Shell-ter in place.

Q. What happened when the Boston fisherman's wife fell overboard?
A. A giant clam chowed her.

Q. Why does the anxious dyslexic guy keep pet shellfish?
A. He says it clams him down.

Q. What did the clever bi-valve mollusk philosopher say?
A. I think, therefore I clam.

Q. What kind of photos do crabs and lobsters take?
A. Shellfies.

Q. Why did the lobster become a runway fashion model?
A. She had one shell of a good body.

Q. What do you call a crab that refrains from sexual relations?
A. Shell-ibate.

Q. How does a lobster answer the phone? A. Shello!Q.  What do you get if you cross an owl and an oyster? A. Pearls of Wisdom!Q. Did you hear about the crab who partied at a seafood disco? A. He pulled a mussel!

Q. Which shellfish goes around pruning seaweed and coral reefs?
A. The lopster.

Q. What kind of car do prawns drive?
A. Shrimports.

Q. Where do shrimp athletes compete?
A. In the pee wee league.

Q. Which shrimp was buried in tulips with his ukuleele?
A. Tiny Tim.

Q. What do you call a female clam that's shyly alluring?
A. Coyster.

Q. How do you describe a horny oyster?
A. Clamorous.

Q. What is a male clam called?
A. Boyster.

Q. What do marine biologists call it when a group of clams start fidgeting around?
A. Oy stir.

Q. Which kind of motor vehicles do shellfish like best?
A. Mussel cars.

Q. Why was the shellfish sad?
A. 'Cause he couldn't find a date for the high school prawn.

Q. How hearty do hermit crabs party?
A. They have a shell of a good time.

Q. Where do grouchy shellfish go when they die?
A. Into the crabyss.

Q. What do oysters find disturbing? A. Noisy noise annoys an oyster!Q. What sort of animal is a slug? A. A homeless snail!Q. What does a llobster do if it loses its tail? A. It goes to a retail store!

Q. What happens when a shellfish yells, "Mum's the word?"
A. Everybody clams up.

Q. Which sea creature always comes up with cunning plans?
A. The ployster.

Q. Who is the ruler of the royal shellfish realm?
A. The roi-ster.

Q. What is a slug aboard an air craft carrier called?
A. A snailor.

Customer: Waiter, there's a small slug in this salad.
Waiter: Sorry sir, would you like me to get you a larger one?

Q. What is a slow bullet called?
A. A slug.

Q. What's the name of the new ocean business run by shellfish?
A. The Lob Store.

Q. How are a dirty mass transit depot and a lobster with breast implants different?
A. One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean.

Q. What is the capitol city of the land of lobsters and crabs?
A. Shelton.

Q. What kind of horse enjoys swimming underwater? A. A seahorse!Q. What do you get if you cross a teacher and a crab? A. Snappy answers!Q. Where does seaweed look for a job? A. In the kelp-wanted ads!

Q. What are female seahorses called?
A. Sea Hers.

Q. Why couldn't anybody hear what the ocean creature was saying?
A. 'Cause he was a little sea hoarse.

Q. What does a sea horse use for spending money?
A. Sand dollars.

Q. What do you get if you cross a sea scallop with rabbits?
A. Sea hares.

Q. What do shellfish call the most famous clam in the sea?
A. Oy star.

Q. What is it called when oysters shout loudly and intensely when a black pearl is found?
A. Clamoring.

Q. What sort of punishmnt might a bratty young crab receive?
A. A good shellac-ing.

Q. Why don't king crabs use varnish?
A. 'Cause they prefer shellac.

Q. Which company do hermit crabs go to for homeowner's insurance?
A. Shell-ter.

Q. What is the most popular name for a pet hermit crab?
A. Shelley.

Q. What do you get if you cross a lion with an Oscar fish?
A. A maul-osc.

Spineless Sea Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, some call me Portuguese man-of-war, but I'm just the jellyfish of love.

Q. How does a crab answer the phone? A. Shello! Is it meat you're looking for?Q. Did you hear about the sea sponge that could talk? A. Too bad it was so self-absorbed!Q. Why don't crabs celebrate Christmas? A. Because they're shellfish!

Q. What is it called when an oyster has a strong desire to achieve greatness?
A. Clambition

Q. How do you sucker punch a shellfish?
A. Smack him in the crabdomen.

Q. How do you descrie a shellfish wearing a top hat and spats?
A. Crabsurd.

Q. Where do shellfish musicians like to perform?
A. At the clamphitheather.

Q. What did vegans get when they crossed a clam with fava beans?
A. Soysters.

Q. What kind of bullets do oyster bank robbers s use?
A. Clammo.

Q. Who brings presents to good little lobsters at Christmas time?
A. Sandy Claws.

Q. What do you get if you cross a shelllfish with a chicken?
A. A shrimp peckable creature .

Q. Why can't you cross a prawn with a rook?
A. 'Cause that's shrimpossible.

| Sea Creature Jokes, Shellfsh Puns, Lobster LOLs, Crab Grins | 3 | Octopus Jokes, Squid Puns |
| Dolphin Jokes, Porpoise Puns | Whale Jokes | Marine Mammal Jokes, Deep Sea Animal Humor |
| Fish Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Shark Jokes | 2 | Finny Fish Puns | Tropical Fish Jokes, Aquarium Puns |
| Wild Bird Jokes | 2 | 3 | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | 2 | Crow Jokes | 2 | Duck Puns | Goose Jokes |
| Bear Jokes | 2 | 3 | Panda Puns | Polar Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | 2 | Buffalo and Bison Jokes | 2 |
| Wolf Jokes | 2 | 3 | Fox Puns | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Yak Jokes | 2 |
| Forest Critter Puns | Bat Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Denver Broncos Puns |
| Wildcat Puns | Lion Jokes | 2 | Leopard Jokes, Cheetah Puns | Lynx LOLs | Tiger Puns | Zoo Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes | 2 | Giraffe Jokes | Hippo Puns | 2 | Safari Animal Jokes | Kangaroo Jokes | 2 1 3 |
| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2 | 3 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Stoner Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal Bar |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs | 2 |
| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns, Caterpillar LOLs | Housefly Jokes | Spider Jokes, Arachnid Puns | 2 |
| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Snake Humor | 2 | 3 | Dinosaur Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Reptile Humor |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |
| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You're still catching big grins, so here's even more claw-some laughter,
shelly jokes, salty humor and shrimp-possible painful puns to tide you over:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Beer Puns | Car Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Dancing Humor | Electric Laughs | Fast Food Jokes | Home Humor |
| Manly Man Jokes | Money Humor | Musician Jokes | Phone LOLs | Photo Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Police Puns |
| Psychic Grins | Sci-Fi Jokes | Shopping Humor | Sports Jokes | Swimming Jokes | Writer Pnns | Xmas Smiles |

Painful Jokes & Groaner PunsPet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet PeevesTech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!
Bartender Puns, Bar HumorPot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!
Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.