Q. What do whales like to eat? A. Fish and ships!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. Did you hear about the flying whale? A. Actually, it was a whale of a  story!
Q. What did the shark say to the whae? A. What R U blubbering about?

Q. How do fish travel a long distance? A. They whale a cab!


Whale Jokes, Moby Dick Humor, Blow Hole Puns
Blubber along with mopey Dick puns, orca humor, Whale of Fortune LOLs and Free Willie jokes.

Orca Jokes, Whale Pod Puns, Shamu Humor
(Because Whale Endowed Jokes and Moby's Dick Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You're Beimg Whale-Laid!)
Warning: Proceed with Care! Sperm whale jokes, humpback humor, podcast LOLs and whale of a tale puns ahead.
| Whale Jokes | Dolphin Jokes, Porpoise Puns | Marine Mammal Jokes, Deep Sea Animal Humor |
| Octopus Jokes, Squid Puns | Sea Creature Jokes, Shellfsh Puns, Lobster LOLs, Crab Grins | 3 |
| Fish Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Shark Jokes | 2 | Finny Fish Puns | Tropical Fish Jokes, Aquarium Puns |
| Fisherman Jokes, Sport Fishing Puns | High Seas Humor | Maritime Laughs | Seafood Jokes |

Q. How do you circumcise a whale? A. Send down fore-skin divers!I know a great white whale joke! It's a real killer...Q. Why did the whale cross the road? A. To get to the other tide!

Q. What do you call a whale that isn't wearing underwear?
A. Free Willie.

Q. What do vets call the coordinated effort to neuter an aggressive male whale?
A. Or-castration.

Q. What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform?
A. Mopey Dick.

Q. What do humpback whales do in their spare time?
A. Listen to pod casts.

Q. Why is orca such an efficient killer?
A. 'Cause he believes in a job whale done.

Q. Why should you never enter a contract with a whale?
A. 'Cause eventually, the whale will breach.

Q. Which group of whale musicians get together to perform Flight of the Bumblebees?
A. The Orca-stra.

Q. Which orca was the first deep sea country music outlaw?
A. Whale N. Jennings.

Q. What do you call massive marine mammals traveling in huge cars?
A. Steering whales.

Q. Why was Shamu considered to be a great actor?
A. 'Cause he was so whale rehearsed.

Q. What do you call a tourist who hopes to see a pod of humpbacks?
A. A whale wisher.

Q. Why do whales enjoy all of the holidays so much?
A. 'Cause they're up for any orca-sion.

Q. How do you make a fish laugh? A. Tell a whale of a tale!Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a whale? A. Sha-Moo!Q. What did the shark say to the whale? A. What are you blubbering about?

Q. What media do artistic whales use for their masterpieces?
A. A-krill-ic paint.

Q. Which size group of whales is the hardest to knock over?
A. A tri-pod.

Q. What do you get if you cross the Redheaded Stranger with Orca?
A. Whale E. Nelson.

Q. How much food does a whale eat every day?
A. A plank ton.

Q. What is Orca's favorite TV game show?
A. Whale of Fortune.

Q. What do you call a whale with a cell phone?
A. Moby Dick.

Q. What do you get when you cross a prize bull with a pygmy whale?
A. Beef Whaling-ton.

Q. How does Orca like his steak cooked?
A. Whale done.

Q. What did the thug gang of sharks say to the baby orcas?
A. Whale, whale, whale. What do we have here?

Q. How do scientists know whales like cocaine?
A. They've got a big blow hole.

Q. What do you call the liquid that comes out of orca's blow hole?
A. Whale water.

Q. What do you call a dyslexic whale?
A. Okra.

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a whale? A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel!Q. What do you call a baby whale? A. A little squirt!Q. What do whales like to chew? A. Blubber gum!

Q. What did Captain Ahab say about Moby Dick's penis?
A. He was quite whale-endowed.

Q. Why is Orca so hard to believe?
A. 'Cause he spins one whale of a tail.

Q. How did the sea captain know there would soon be a death in his family?
A. He heard the song of the whaling banshee.

Q. Which kind of whale likes a big round of applause after he steals the show?
A. The Bow-head whale.

Q. What do two horny whales do when they're mating?
A. They hump back.

Q. Where did all of the sperm whales come from?
A. Moby's Dick.

Q. Why don't you ever see sperm whale sperm?
A. 'Cause they cum in waves.

Q. Which kind of whale is never wrong?
A. A Right Whale.

Q. Which kind of sandwich do whales enjoy most?
A. Krilled cheese.

Q. How do killer whales plan a big party?
A. They orca-nize the guest list.

Q. What is it called when boaters are detained and troubled by a pod of humpbacks?
A. Being whale-laid.

Q. What do you get when you cross a large sea mammal with a sable?
A. A Minke whale.

QQ. Why don't whales do well on school tests? A. Because they work below C-level!Q. How are a dog and a marine biologist alike? A. One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!Q. Did you hear about the whle that got average grades in school? A. It was a C Creature!

Q. What is a one-sided whale called?
A. Mobius Dick.

Q. What did the marine bioogist say to Shamu when he wasn't feeling good?
A. Get whale soon.

Q. Where is the gateway to the Cape of Fear located?
A. Whale-mington, North Carolina.

Q. Which kind of whale has the most expensive taste?
A. Beluga whale.

Q. What do you call a humpback with an impressive pedigree?
A. Whale bred.

Q. How do you describe a polite humpback?
A. Whale mannered.

Q. Why was Shamu so famous?
A. Because he was so whale-known.

Q. Which kind of large sea mammal is the most virile?
A. The sperm whale.

Q. Which kind of whale has the worst posture?
A. A hump back.

Q. Where did Orca study marine biology?
A. Johnson and Whales University.

Q. What position does Shamu play in the whale football league?
A. Hump back.

Q. Which large sea mammal is the saddest of them all?
A. The blue whale.

Q. How do you make a shark laugh? A. Tell him a whale of a tale!Q. What did the sea mammal sayy to his love on Valentine's Day? A. Whale you be mine?Q. What is a dolphin's favorite game show? A. Whale Of Fortune!

Q. Which large marine mammals speak Welsh?
A. Wales.

Q. Where does Orca do his bnking?
A. Whales Fargo.

Q. Where does an overweight humpback go for dieting help?
A. Whale Watchers.

Q. Which class does the pygmy whale boxer compete in?
A. Whale-ter weight.

Q. Which kind of whale is the oldest?
A. The gray whale.

Killer Whale Pick-Up Line: Hello big mamma. How'd you like to help free my Willie?

Q. Which large sea mammal is the easiest to get married off?
A. A Bryde's Whale.

Deep Sea Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, they don't call me a sperm whale for nothing!

Q. What do you get if you cross a whale with tropical corsage flower?
A. An Orca-kid.

Q. What do you need to be fully prepared before you go swimming with orca?
A. Sign your last whale and testament.

Q. How do whales and dolphins share information with each other?
A. With a podcast.

Q. What is the difference between a killer whale and a killer dolphin?
A. Orca doesn't have to hide the bodies.

Q. What happens when deep sea water mammals leave this world?
A. They cross over to the otter tide.

Q. Where does Shamu's stockibroker work?
A. On Whale St.

Q. When did a humpback whale go where no man has gone before?
A. In Star Trek IV The Voyage Home.

| Whale Jokes | Dolphin Jokes, Porpoise Puns | Marine Mammal Jokes, Deep Sea Animal Humor |
| Octopus Jokes, Squid Puns | Sea Creature Jokes, Shellfsh Puns, Lobster LOLs, Crab Grins | 3 |
| Fish Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Shark Jokes | 2 | Finny Fish Puns | Tropical Fish Jokes, Aquarium Puns |
| Wild Bird Jokes | 2 | 3 | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | 2 | Crow Jokes | 2 | Duck Puns | Goose Jokes |
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| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2 | 3 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Stoner Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal Bar |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs | 2 |
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| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Reptile Humor |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |
| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes |

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