Q. What do you call a whale that isn't wearing underwear?
A. Free Willie.

Q. What do vets call the coordinated effort to neuter an aggressive male whale?
A. Or-castration.

Q. What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform?
A. Mopey Dick.

Q. What do humpback whales do in their spare time?
A. Listen to pod casts.

Q. Why is orca such an efficient killer?
A. 'Cause he believes in a job whale done.

Q. Why should you never enter a contract with a whale?
A. 'Cause eventually, the whale will breach.

Q. Which group of whale musicians get together to perform Flight of the Bumblebees?
A. The Orca-stra.

Q. Which orca was the first deep sea country music outlaw?
A. Whale N. Jennings.

Q. What do you call massive marine mammals traveling in huge cars?
A. Steering whales.

Q. Why was Shamu considered to be a great actor?
A. 'Cause he was so whale rehearsed.

Q. What do you call a tourist who hopes to see a pod of humpbacks?
A. A whale wisher.

Q. Why do whales enjoy all of the holidays so much?
A. 'Cause they're up for any orca-sion.

Q. What media do artistic whales use for their masterpieces?
A. A-krill-ic paint.

Q. Which size group of whales is the hardest to knock over?
A. A tri-pod.

Q. What do you get if you cross the Redheaded Stranger with Orca?
A. Whale E. Nelson.

Q. How much food does a whale eat every day?
A. A plank ton.

Q. What is Orca's favorite TV game show?
A. Whale of Fortune.

Q. What do you call a whale with a cell phone?
A. Moby Dick.

Q. What do you get when you cross a prize bull with a pygmy whale?
A. Beef Whaling-ton.

Q. How does Orca like his steak cooked?
A. Whale done.

Q. What did the thug gang of sharks say to the baby orcas?
A. Whale, whale, whale. What do we have here?

Q. How do scientists know whales like cocaine?
A. They've got a big blow hole.

Q. What do you call the liquid that comes out of orca's blow hole?
A. Whale water.

Q. What do you call a dyslexic whale?
A. Okra.

Q. What did Captain Ahab say about Moby Dick's penis?
A. He was quite whale-endowed.

Q. Why is Orca so hard to believe?
A. 'Cause he spins one whale of a tail.

Q. How did the sea captain know there would soon be a death in his family?
A. He heard the song of the whaling banshee.

Q. Which kind of whale likes a big round of applause after he steals the show?
A. The Bow-head whale.

Q. What do two horny whales do when they're mating?
A. They hump back.

Q. Where did all of the sperm whales come from?
A. Moby's Dick.

Q. Why don't you ever see sperm whale sperm?
A. 'Cause they cum in waves.

Q. Which kind of whale is never wrong?
A. A Right Whale.

Q. Which kind of sandwich do whales enjoy most?
A. Krilled cheese.

Q. How do killer whales plan a big party?
A. They orca-nize the guest list.

Q. What is it called when boaters are detained and troubled by a pod of humpbacks?
A. Being whale-laid.

Q. What do you get when you cross a large sea mammal with a sable?
A. A Minke whale.

Q. What is a one-sided whale called?
A. Mobius Dick.

Q. What did the marine bioogist say to Shamu when he wasn't feeling good?
A. Get whale soon.

Q. Where is the gateway to the Cape of Fear located?
A. Whale-mington, North Carolina.

Q. Which kind of whale has the most expensive taste?
A. Beluga whale.

Q. What do you call a humpback with an impressive pedigree?
A. Whale bred.

Q. How do you describe a polite humpback?
A. Whale mannered.

Q. Why was Shamu so famous?
A. Because he was so whale-known.

Q. Which kind of large sea mammal is the most virile?
A. The sperm whale.

Q. Which kind of whale has the worst posture?
A. A hump back.

Q. Where did Orca study marine biology?
A. Johnson and Whales University.

Q. What position does Shamu play in the whale football league?
A. Hump back.

Q. Which large sea mammal is the saddest of them all?
A. The blue whale.

Q. Which large marine mammals speak Welsh?
A. Wales.

Q. Where does Orca do his bnking?
A. Whales Fargo.

Q. Where does an overweight humpback go for dieting help?
A. Whale Watchers.

Q. Which class does the pygmy whale boxer compete in?
A. Whale-ter weight.

Q. Which kind of whale is the oldest?
A. The gray whale.

Killer Whale Pick-Up Line: Hello big mamma. How'd you like to help free my Willie?

Q. Which large sea mammal is the easiest to get married off?
A. A Bryde's Whale.

Deep Sea Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, they don't call me a sperm whale for nothing!

Q. What do you get if you cross a whale with tropical corsage flower?
A. An Orca-kid.

Q. What do you need to be fully prepared before you go swimming with orca?
A. Sign your last whale and testament.

Q. How do whales and dolphins share information with each other?
A. With a podcast.

Q. What is the difference between a killer whale and a killer dolphin?
A. Orca doesn't have to hide the bodies.

Q. What happens when deep sea water mammals leave this world?
A. They cross over to the otter tide.

Q. Where does Shamu's stockibroker work?
A. On Whale St.

Q. When did a humpback whale go where no man has gone before?
A. In Star Trek IV The Voyage Home.

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