Q. What kind of soap do birds prefer? A. Dove!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. What is the most uncomfortable bird? a. The Wedgie-Tailed Eagle!
Q. Why do birds fly south for the winter? A. It's too far to walk!

Giant flying bird leaving a trail behind says: Oh Crap It's Turds Day!
Q. What's noisier than a whooping crane? a. a Trumpeting swan!

A woodpecker hoped the tree would e home for a long time. Knock on wood!


Outdoor Bird Jokes, Raptor Puns, Beak Humor
Wing it with pelican't puns, bald eagle humor, peacock grins, owl-some LOLs and flamingo jokes.

Bird Jokes, Winged Laughs, Avian Puns
(Because Cold Pen-Grin Jokes and Owl-ful Hoot Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Wild Birds of a Feather!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Woodpecker jokes, owl hoots, pigeon humor, and ice cold penguin puns ahead.
| Wild Bird Jokes, Avian Puns | 2 | 3 | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | 2 | Crow Jokes, Raven Puns | 2 |
| Duck Jokes | 2 | Goose Jokes, Ganfer Puns | Parrot Jokes | Pet Bird Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes |
| Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? Jokes | Funky Chicken Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | Rooster Jokes |

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? a. He had a very big bill!
Q. Which kind of books do owls enjoy? A. Hoot-Dunits!
Q. Which geometric figure is like a lost parrot? a. a Polygon1

Q. Which kind of shore bird always gives up when the going gets rough?
A. The Pelican't.

Q. What do you call a jailbird that's out on parole?
A. A peli-con.

Q. What do you call a sea bird with a big rotten fish in its beak?
A. A smell-ican.

Q. What does a big-billed shore bird call his loyal best friend?
A. Pal-ican.

Q. What do you call an albino shore bird with a big bill?
A. Pale-can.

Q. What is it called when a hooter in flight craps on your windshield?
A. A bowl movement.

Q. Why is it hard to trust an owl?
A. 'Cause they tell a lot of false hoots.

Q. What do you get when you cross an owl with a Neanderthal?
A. A Hoo-man.

Q. What do you get when you cross an owl with a skunk?
A. A bird that smells bad and doesn't give a hoot.

Q. What is an owl's favorite classic rock band?
A. The Hoo.

Q. How does info travel so quickly from parrot to parrot?
A. Bird of Mouth!

Q. Why did the parrot wear a rain coat?
A. She wanted to be polly unsaturated.

Q. What is an African Gray Parrot's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast.

Q. Are Painful pet bird Puns funny?
A. A-parrot-ly so!

Q. How do jungle parrots spend their time from sun up 'til sun down?
A. Polly wolly doodle all the day.

Q. Why do hummingbirds hum? A. Because they forgot the words!
Q. What do you call a sick eagle? A. Illegal!
Q. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A. A head banger!

Q. Which kind of avian makes a birdwatcher's head spin?
A. The mind numbing bird.

Q. Which kind of avian serenades his mate while sweetly playing his guitar?
A. The strumming bird.

Q. Why was the little avian panhandling in the park?
A. 'Cause it was a bumming bird.

Q. What do you call a drunken uptown bird down in a dive bar?
A. Slumming bird.

Q. What do you call a powerful raptor that suffers from ennui?
A. Bored eagle.

Q. What do you call an avian with exceptionally great visual acuity?
A. Eagle eye.

Q. What so you call the eagle eye that locates hot new avian acts for NatGeo Wild?
A. A talon scout.

Q. What do you call a raptor that was attacked by a grizzly bear?
A. Mauled eagle.

Q. Which kind of bird taps out coded messages from trees at the top of mountains?
A. The Wood Peaker.

Q. What do you call a bird that plays the banjo?
A. A wood picker.

Q. What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a lemon tree?
A. A wood-pucker.

Q. What dp upi get of upi crpss a woodpecker with a porcupine?
A. A wood-pricker.

Q. Which kind of math are birds good at? a. Owl-Gebra!
Q. What did the maple tree say to a woodpecker? A. Leaf me alone!
Did you hear the story about a peacock? Yes, it's a beautiful tale!

Q. What do you call an owl that always tells everybody else what to do?
A. A know-it-owl.

Q. Why are birds that give a hoot such great computer programmers?
A. 'Cause they're great at owlgorithms.

Q. Which kind of menagerie only features nocturnal birds?
A. A zoo-owl-logiccal park.

Q. Why don't owlets study for tests?
A. 'Cause they're really good at winging it.

Q. Where do Great Horned avians fly around in Colorado's Rocky Mountains?
A. At High Owltitude.

Q. What do you call a bird that cheats at Hide 'n Go Seek?
A. Wood Peeker.

Q. Which kind of southwestern bird is fond of trees and jalapenos?
A. The Wood Pepper.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bird with a gherkin?
A. A wood pickle.

Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A. A bird that talks in morse code.

Q. Which kind of backyard bird rolls around on the lawn at daybreak?
A. The Dew Jay.

Q. What do you get if you cross a peacodk with a crow?
A. A Peacawk.

Q. Which kind of bird fills in for a contractor doing home repairs?
A. Pea-caulk.

Q. What is another name a female peacock or peahen?
A. SheCock.

Q. Which showy male bird has a redundant name?
A. The HeCock.

Q. What do you get if you cross a showy bird with an alligator?
A. A pea-croc.

Q. What bird is with you at every meal? a. A Swallow!
Q.  What do you get if you cross an owl and an oyster? A. Pearls of Wisdom!
Q. Why are penguins so socially awkward? A. beause they don't know how to break the ice!

Q. What do you get if you cross a backyard bird with a moth?
A. A Swallowtail Butterfly.

Q. What do you call a cliff bird in Capistrano that has eaten way too much?
A. A swal-load.

Q. Where do birds invest their money?
A. The stork market. Q. What do you get if you cross a backyard bird with a moth?
A. A Swallowtail Butterfly.

Q. What do you call a cliff bird in Capistrano that has eaten way too much?
A. A swal-load.

Q. What do you say when an owl poops on your car in the church parking lot?
A. Owly sh*t!

Q. Where do big breasted owls work?
A. Hooters.

Q. Why wasn't the noctornal bird arrested for the crime?
A. 'Cause he had an owl-ibi.

Q. Where do the park police lock up criminal owls?
A. In the hoos-gow.

Q. What do you call really bad puns about Antarctic birds?
A. Pen-groans.

Q. What is the happiest bird in the Southern Hemisphere?
A. The PenGRIN.

Q. What is the most popular name for a lady penguin?
A. Pen Gwen.

Q. What do you get if you cross a flamingo with an Antarctic avian?
A. A Pink-guin.

When Mr. Penguin left for work, his wife said: "Have an ice day!"
Q. What kind of bird is found in Portugal? A. Porto-geese!
Q. How do you know owls are more clever than chickens? A. There's no such thing as Kentucy Fried Owl!

Q. What do you call a Southern Hemisphere bird that tells painful play-on-word jokes?
A. PUNguin.

Q. How do penguins make a decision?
A. They flipper coin.

Q. What is a teenage avian thug called in Antarctica?
A. Punk-guin.

Q. What is the most painful place to kick a penguin?
A. In his pen-groin. OUCH!

Q. What do Canadians call slanted fake news about geese?
A. Propa gander.

Q. Why do geese use Head and Shoulders shampoo?
A. 'Cause what's good for the goose is good for the dander.

Q. When will the migrating geese reach their winter destination?
A. That's still up in the air.

Q. What do geese watch on television?
A. Duck-umentaries.

Q. Why didn't the night owl go to the old owl's funeral?
A. 'Cause he wasn't a mourning person.

Q. Which kind of babysitter wears an owl costume?
A. A Hootin' Nanny.

Q. What do you get when you cross a marsupial and an owl?
A. A kanga-hoo.

Hoot of a Point to Ponder: What did Barn Owls do before there were barns?

Q. Where does a peacock go when it loses its tail? a. To a Retail sore!
Q. Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? A. Because if he lifted that one too, he'd fall down!
Q. What do you call a bird during winter? a. BRRR0D!

Q. Which large showy bird is always on time?
A. The Pea Clock.

Q. What do you get if you cross a peacock with a sassy-mouthed parrot?
A. Pea-mock.

Q. Whiat do peaahens call the male with the smallest penis?
A. Wee cock.

Q. What do you call a showy bird that has to use the restroom all the time?
A. Pee Cock.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bird with a showy tail and a frog?
A. A Peacroak.

Q. What do folks in Florida call the local bird who's a big movie star?
A. Film-ingo.

Q. Which kind of bird is always out on the golf course?
A. The Foremingo.

Q. Which kind of wading bird is pure muscle?
A. The Firmingo.

Q. What do you call a flamingo caught in the flooding river's current?
A. A Flow-mingo.

Q. What is a newly hatched peacodk called?
A. Weecock.

Q. Why didn't the pigeon come back home with the message?
A. 'Cause it was a roaming pigeon.

Q. Why do birds fly south?
A. Because it's too far to walk.

A blonde looked up to watch a bird flying above. Suddenly the bird pooped. So, the blonde said, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would have hit me in the face!"

Q. What do you call the early bird that starts screaching outside your bedroom window at dawn?
A. A rude jay.


| Wild Bird Jokes | 2 | 3 | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | 2 | Crow Jokes | 2 | Duck Puns | Goose Jokes |
| Bear Jokes | 2 | 3 | Panda Puns | Polar Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | 2 | Buffalo and Bison Jokes | 2 |
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| Wildcat Puns | Lion Jokes | 2 | Leopard Jokes, Cheetah Puns | Lynx LOLs | Tiger Puns | Zoo Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes | 2 | Giraffe Jokes | Hippo Puns | 2 | Safari Animal Jokes | Kangaroo Jokes | 2 1 3 |
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