Q. What's worse than a monkey eating a banana? A. A monkey going bananas!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. What do you call rude Canada geese? A. In Colorado, you know better than to call a goose!
Q. Which kind of fish performs brain surgery? A. A brain sturgeon!
Q. Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party? A. Because he was a party pooper!
Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire? A. Count Quackula!

 


Wildly Wacky Animal Jokes and Feral Funny Puns
Howl along with zany animal memes, crazy critter humor, and bucking funny wildlife jokes.

Wildlife Jokes, Animal Puns, Wild Animal Humor
(Because Critter Comedy is TOO Mainstream for Fauna Comedians Who Stand Up for the Wilderness!)
Warning: Explore Feral Animal Jokes Cautiously! Wild humor, bearly funny jokes, and batty animal puns ahead.
| Wildly Funny Wild Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Mouse Jokes | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Humor | Animal Poop Puns |
| Insect Puns | Bee Jokes | Spider Jokes | Frog Jokes, Toad Puns | Snake Jokes | Fish Jokes |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |

Q. What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a general? A. A Military Coo!Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A. PachydermatologistQ. What do you get if you cross a bat with a lonely hearts club? A. A lot of blind dates.

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the bird?
A. Because it was in da skies.

Q. Why do crows tell really dumb jokes and Painful Puns?
A. Just be-caws!

Q. What do you call the leader of the flock of marauding crows?
A. Branch manager.

Q. Why did the dove miss her neighbors' wedding?
A. She felt a bit under the feather.

Q. How did the dinosaurs pay their bills 65-million years ago?
A. With Tyrannosaurus checks.

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. What is it called when elephants work together?
A. Multi-tusking.

Q. What do you call it when you dare to venture out among a bunch of pachyderms?
A. You are braving the elephants.

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?
A. Eleph-I-no (hell if I know)

Q. What does a well-dressed captive animal wear?
A. A Zoo-t suit.

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire bat with a computer dating site?
A. Love at first byte.

Q. What is the best way to hold a bat?
A. By its handle.

Q. Why do vampire bats drink blood all evening long?
A. 'Cause coffee keeps them awake all day.

Q. What happened when two bats met for a quick lunch?
A. It was love at first bite.

Q. What do you call somebody who loves Aussie marsupials so much that he emulates them?
A. A wallaby wannabe.

Q. How do you keep an elephant from charging? A. Take away his credit card.Q. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? A. She wanted to see butterfly.Bear Walks Into a Bar: "I'll have a beer ... and some peanuts." Bartender asks: "Why the big paws?"

OUCH! That last pachyderm pun was completely irrelephant!

Q. What do you get after you get an elephant out of the water?
A. Wet.

Q. What's big and gray and writes large poetry?
A. T.S. Elephant.

Q. Why couldn't the butterfly go to the dance?
A. Because it was the moth ball.

Q. How did the caterpillar's metamorphosis go?
A. Everything went smooth as silk.

Q. Which insect lives on basically nothing?
A. A moth, because it eats holes.

Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.

Q. Which bruin barber shop quartet singer sings the low notes?
A. The bear-itone.

Q. What is one of the biggest drawbacks of a polar bear's diet?
A. Brain freeze.

Animal Riddle: Q. What do you call a baby monkey? A. Chimp off the old block!Stinking Funny Pun: Q. What did the judge say when skunks walked into court? A. Good morning, lawyers.Animal Pun: The leopard was very good at guessing. He was always spot on!

Q. What do you call a disaster that is a particular risk to primates?
A. A peril of monkeys.

Q. Where should a monkey go if he loses his tail?
A. To a Retailer!

Q. What is the first thing monkeys learn in school?
A. The Ape B Cs.

Q. Which gorilla gal made it into the Playboy calendar?
A. Miss Ape-ril.

Q. Why can't skunks keep a secret?
A. Because somebody is always catching wind of them.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sci-fi robot with a skunk?
A. R-2 P-U.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skunk and a hummingbird?
A. A smellicopter!

Q. Which scary skunk lives in a laboratory in Transylvania?
A. Stankenstein.

Q. What do you call a lion wearing a very dapper hat?
A. A dandy lion!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A. A sour puss.

Q. Why is it so hard for leopards to escape from the zoo?
A. Because they're always spotted.

Me-Wow! Police are investigating a feline corpse that was found in a Xerox machine. They're calling it a copy cat killing.

Funny Toad Pun: I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.Wildlife Pun: Male deer have buck teeth!How Do You Get a Mouse to Smile? Say: "Cheese"

Q. What does a mystery writer call a covert toad spy?
A. A croak and dagger agent.

Q. What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A. One says ribbit, ribbit and the other says rub-it, rub-it.

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog and a baseball player?
A. An outfielder who catches flies, and then eats them!

Q. What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A. Beer nuts are $2.99, but deer nuts are always under a buck.

Q. Wanna hear some funny deer jokes?
A. No thanks, I'm not a fawn.

Q. What did Homer Simpson say after he crashed into a deer?
A. Doh!

Q. What is a pirate's favorite kind of deer?
A. A commandeer!

Q. What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
A. Mouse Code.

Q. Which kind of deli cheese do many rodents prefer?
A. Mouserella!

Q. Why do mice have tiny balls?
A. Because they don't care for dances.

Rodent Point to Ponder: If your cat caught all the mice in your house, does that make it squeaky clean?

| Wildly Funny Wild Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Animal Poop Puns |
| Insect Puns | Bee Jokes | Spider Jokes | Frog Jokes, Toad Puns | Snake Jokes, Reptile Puns |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |
| Duck Jokes, Goose Puns | Fish Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Bronco Puns |
| Farm Animals | Chicken Jokes | Cow Puns | Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Pet Animal Puns | Bird Jokes | Pet Cat Jokes | Feline Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 | Pet Rodent Jokes |


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