Flying Dinosaur Says: Wow, it's fly day!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Tiger Says: Caturday was going so well until I realized it was Sunday?
Q. What did the frog order at McDonalds? A. French flies and a diet croak!
Q. What's sour, green, and swims in an aquarium? A. A trop-pickle fish!
Camel Says: Happy Hump Day!

 


Wildly Funny Animal Puns and Wild Animal Jokes
Laugh along with fauna puns, sassy animal jokes, and funny wild creature humor.

Funny Animal Jokes, Wildlife Humor, Animal Puns
(Because Beary Funny Puns and Wild Laughter Could Never Be TOO Mainstream at the Animal Farm)
Warning: Proceed At Your Own Risk! Ducking funny animal jokes, toady humor, and crabby puns ahead.
| Wildly Funny Wild Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Mouse Jokes | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Humor | Animal Poop Puns |
| Insect Puns | Bee Jokes | Spider Jokes | Frog Jokes, Toad Puns | Snake Jokes | Fish Jokes |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |

Q. How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Squirrels only change bulbs that are nut broken!Q. What do you call a donkey on steroids? A. An ass-teroid!Q. Which national parks icon do locksmiths trust to preven forest fires? A. Smokey the Bear!

Q. Why did a squirrel disassemble the classic car?
A. To get to the nuts and bolts.

Q. Why don't backyard squirrels have very many friends?
A. Because they drive everybody nuts.

Q. How do you catch a squirrel?
A. Just climb up a tree and act like a nut.

Backyard Fauna Come-On: Hey baby, I wish you and I were squirrels, so I could bust a nut in your hole.

Q. What do you get if you cross a donkey and a motorcycle?
A. A Yam-Hee-Haw.

Q. What do you call a donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!

Q. What do you get if a donkey eats a porcupine?
A. A pain in the ass.

Q. What do you get if you cross a famous American duelist and a donkey?
A. Aaron Burro.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skunk and a bear?
A. Winnie the Pee-Yoo.

Q. What did the blonde bear say?
A. Pan Duh!

Q. Which bruin hibernates while standing on its head?
A. Yoga Bear.

Down Unda Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you be the eucalyptus tree, and I'll wrap around you like a koala bear.

Toad Says: Wart-n't you know it? It's Wednesday!Q. What did the frog say after lighting up? A. Don't worry, be hoppy!Q. What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? A. A croaking device!

Q. What does a frog say when it sees something really terrific?
A. Toad-ally Awesome!

Q. What do you get if you plant a frog?
A. A cr-oak tree!

Q. What did the sick frog need to feel better?
A. An hoperation!

Q. Why are bullfrogs so good at basketball?
A. They always make the jump shots.

Q. Why are frogs so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them!

Q. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A. Toad!

Q. What kind of music do lit frogs enjoy?
A. Hip Hop.

Q. What did the frog say when his newt friend said, Time flies when you're having fun?
A. No! It's "Time's fun when you're having flies!"

Q. What do stylish sci-fi frogs wear?
A. Jumpsuits.

Q. What does a frog do when his car breaks down?
A. He calls a toad truck.

Q. What do you say when you stop for a hitchhiking frog?
A. Hop In.

Q. Why was the tadpole feeling so lonely?
A. Because he was newt to the area.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite animal? A. The Giraffe!Oh, just admit it! Valentine's day makes you crabby, too!Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire? A. Count Quackula!

Q. What do you call it if a giraffe swallows a drone?
A. A a big plane in the neck.

Q. Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A. Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a giraffe?
A. Bacon and legs.

Giraffe Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, wanna see if what they say about the height of an animal is actually true?

Q. Why don't crabs like to share?
A. Because they're shellfish!

Q. What do dirty shellfish read?
A. Prawno magazines.

Q. How did the crab get to the hospital?
A. In a clam-bulance!

Q. Why don't crabs ever pay retail?
A. Because they're sale fish!

Sea Life Pick-Up Line: Hey Shelly, would you mind if I crab your ass?

Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes while they're flying?
A. So they don't quack up.

Q. Where do vampire bats keep their money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. Where does a sick duck go?
A. To the ducktor.

Q. What do ducks get after they eat?
A. A bill.

Q. Which animal doesn't grow up?
A. A duck, because it grows down.

Never go to a seafood dance on Valentine's Day because you might pull a mussel!Penguin Asks: Did somebody say it's Nun Day?I hate Valentine's Day! And I'm not even a hermit crab!

Q. What do you call entertaining crabs crossing the pavement?
A. Side-walk performers.

Q. Where do shellfish go when they need money?
A. To a prawn broker.

Q. Are shellfish warm?
A. No, they're clammy.

Q. What do you call a lazy crayfish with a messy home?
A. Slobster.

Q. Where do penguins go swimming?
A. At the South Pool.

Q. Why don't penguins like hip hop music?
A. They only like sole.

Q. What do you call a very happy penguin?
A. A pen-grin!

Q. What do you call a penguin with a large penis?
A. An icebreaker.

Cents-Less Joke of the Day If you had a dollar for every deer joke on this page, you'd have one buck.

Q. Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A. Because they're very scentimental.

Q. How does a lobster answer the phone?
A. Shello!

Q. What do you get if you cross a monkey and a shellfish?
A. A shrimpanzee!

Q. What do you get if you cross a lobster and a telephone?
A. Snappy talk.

| Wildly Funny Wild Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Animal Poop Puns |
| Insect Puns | Bee Jokes | Spider Jokes | Frog Jokes, Toad Puns | Snake Jokes, Reptile Puns |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |
| Duck Jokes, Goose Puns | Fish Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Bronco Puns |
| Farm Animals | Chicken Jokes | Cow Puns | Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Pet Animal Puns | Bird Jokes | Pet Cat Jokes | Feline Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 | Pet Rodent Jokes |


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