| Q.
Why did a squirrel disassemble the classic car?
A. To get to the nuts and bolts.
Q.
Why don't backyard squirrels have very many friends?
A. Because they drive everybody nuts.
Q.
How do you catch a squirrel?
A. Just climb up a tree and act like a nut.
Q.
Why did a squirrel swim across the stream on his back?
A. He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Q.
How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A. Ten little piggies, two calves, one ass, one beaver and
several thousand hares.
Q.
Why wouln't the porcupine were a tuxedo?
A. 'Cause he was already sharply dressed.
Old
beavers never die, they just don't give a dam. |
Q.
What do you get if you cross a donkey and a motorcycle?
A. A Yam-Hee-Haw.
Q.
What do you call a donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!
Q.
What do you get if a donkey eats a porcupine?
A. A pain in the ass.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a famous American duelist and
a donkey?
A. Aaron Burro.
Q.
Why don't river otters hold grudges?
A. That's just water under the bridge.
Q.
Which kind of rodent wears cologne?
A. A muskrat.
Backyard
Fauna Come-On: Hey baby,
I wish you and I were squirrels, so I could bust a nut in
your hole. |
Q.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a bear?
A. Winnie the Pee-Yoo.
Q.
What did the blonde bear say?
A. Pan Duh!
Q.
Which bruin hibernates while standing on its head?
A. Yoga Bear.
Q.
Why should you never say hello to a brown bear's ass?
A. 'Cause you'll meet a grizzly end!
Q.
Why do bears have fur coats?
A. Because they'd look stupid in denim jackets.
Q.
What did the grizzly say when he was forced out of his natural
habitat?
A. This is un-BEAR-able.
Down
Unda Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you be the eucalyptus tree,
and I'll wrap around you like a koala bear. |
