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Q. What do you call a bank that also carries gardening supplies? A. A savings and loam!
Q. What is the favorite flower of USA auto owners? A. The Car-Nation!
Q. What does a cabbage outlaw have? A. A price on its head!

 


Gardener Jokes, Growner Puns, Gardening Humor
Harvest a bushel full of garden jokes, a peck of laughs, gardening humor and lawn-ly puns.

Garden Jokes, Homegrown Humor, Potted Puns
('Cause Funny Organic Jokes and Homegrown Humor Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Gardeners Who Dig Puns!)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Weed wacker jokes, seedy puns, and green grown-ers ahead.
| Gardening Jokes and Blooming Funny Garden Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes |
| Flower Jokes and Florist Pun | Lawn Mower Jokes and Sod Puns | Tree Jokes and Pine Puns |
| Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickled Puns | Potato Jokes | Salad Puns | Tomato Jokes | Vegetable Humor |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Puns | Lemon Puns | Orange Puns | Strawberry Jokes |

Q. What is a three-season bed? A. One without a spring.What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare TreePot Smoking Gnome Pick-Up Line: If I had a garden, I'd put my tulips and your two lips together.

Gardening Point to Ponder: Do botanists have all the anthers?

Q. If money really did grow on trees, what would everyone's favorite season be?
A. Fall.

Q. Why did the Boise potatoes finally get a divorce?
A. Because they couldn't see eye to eye.

Q. Which garden veggie could tie your stomach in knots?
A. String Beans!

When garden vegetables want to converse with petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.

Q. What's the best part of urban gardening?
A. Getting down and dirty with the hoes.

Q. Who wrote the casual turf care book, Make a Wish on Your Lawn?
A. Dan D. Lyon.

Q. What is it called when you covertly listen to foliage falling in the fall?
A. Leaves-dropping.

Q. What do you call a horny stoner?
A. A weed whacker!

Q. What did one hungry garden plant say to its neighbor?
A. I could use a light snack.

Q. Where do garden veggies go to have a few drinks after hours?
A. The salad bar.

Q. What do allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
A. An aster-risk.

Q. What Do You Get If You Cross a Donkey with an Owl? A. A Smart Ass That Knows It All!Dockyard: A Physician's Garden.What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? Iceberg

Backyard Botany Point to Ponder: With fronds like this, who needs anemones?

Q. Why do potatoes make good detectives?
A. Because they keep their eyes peeled.

Q. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by the diameter?
A. Pumpkin Pi.

Q. Why didn't anyone laugh at the gardener's jokes?
A. They were too corny.

Healthy Green Thought of the Day: Gardening is cheaper than therapy, plus you get tomatoes!

Q. What did carrots say to parsnips during the garden veggie race?
A. Lettuce rest. I'm feeling beet.

Green Thumb Chat Up Line: Hey babe, I dig gardeners!

Murderously Funny Gardener's Words of Wisdom: New backyard landscaping projects are great places to hide bodies.

My wife's a water sign. I'm an earth sign. Together we make mud.
– Rodney Dangerfield

Q. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? A. She wanted to see butterfly.Old Horticulturists Never Die, They Just Go to PotQ. What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes? A. A Water-Felon

Q. What does alpha letter "A" have in common with an aster flower?
A. They both have bees coming after them.

Even blondes know this garden factoid: The grass is always greener where you water it!

Garden Wiz-Dumb: Bloom where you are planted!

Q. Which hearty root veggie crop produces sugar and smiles?
A. Beets me?

Q. What do you call a potato that smokes weed?
A. A baked potato.

Q. Why did the old grower garden in the nude?
A. Because that's cheaper than a scarecrow!

Q. What did the aging gardener say to his wife on their anniversary?
A. Like a prune, you aren't getting better looking, but you are getting sweeter!

Q. Why was the farmer so teffified by his pumpkins?
A. Because after he watered the seeds, they grew some and then grew some more!

Q. What do you get when you cross an older relative and a tart fruit?
A. A Granny Smith.

Garden Patch Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you've really grown on me and I love you from my head tomatoes.

What kind of flowers do you give to King Tut? Chrysanthemummies.Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.Gnome & Toad with Pot Leaves: Gnome Grown

Growing Groan of the Day: When the garden plant couldn't absorb water properly, it sought a xylem.

At the arty florist shop, one observes flowers placed in decorative urns, but not vase versa.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog with a garden daisy?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What does a gardener call peas and carrots that don't want to be together?
A. Steamed veggies.

Q. What does a mermaid smoke?
A. Seaweed.

Green Gardener's Marriage Vows: Do you, Gardener, take this Garden, to weed from this day forth?

| Gardening Jokes and Blooming Funny Garden Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes |
| Flower Jokes and Florist Pun | Lawn Mower Jokes and Sod Puns | Tree Jokes and Pine Puns |

| Garden Gnome Jokes | Lost Gnome Jokes | Creepy Garden Gnome Puns | Mobile Gnome Jokes |
| Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickled Puns | Potato Jokes | Salad Puns | Tomato Jokes | Vegetable Humor |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Puns | Lemon Puns | Orange Puns | Strawberry Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Bear Jokes | Insect Jokes | Rodent Jokes | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns |
| Big Bigfoot Laughs | Deer Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | Donkey Jokes | Wildlife Animal Jokes |


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You've reaped this much, but here's another peck of laughter, hoe-larious
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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Tennis Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Wife Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Gnome Puns Intended Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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